“Lost Girl” Rewind Mini-Cap (5.12): Judgement Fae

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Rewind is a weekly mini-recap following the Syfy broadcast of “Lost Girl.” Read the full episode recap here.

Rub-a-dub-dub, two succubus-powered lovers in a tub. Bo and Lauren conduct a spirited and wet game of suck-and-blow with chi. Afterward, Lauren wants some pizza because nothing is better after some Succubus and Chill than some ‘zza. But Bo is like, silly rabbit, I already ordered pizza. Uh-oh. She also admits her conduit powers came with a little help from Daddy Darkness as well. Gee, who woulda thunk that might come with a downside?

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Speaking of downsides, the totally not vanquished Zeus is still walking around very much in corporeal form. She visits some hunky blacksmith who is tasked with making her something blacksmithy. And then kills a human who recognizes her vessel body for good measure.

The team congregates at The Dal to watch surveillance footage of not-vanquished Zeus kill said lady. So they go to question Hades about his evil, lying ways. But Lauren is a little distracted on account of the early onset Parkinson’s and rapid cognitive decline. But before anyone can discuss anything they hear a crash and it’s Zeus. Or, more accurately, it’s Zeus’s human body.

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Elizabeth is back and tells them about Zeus’s visit with the hunky backsmith, named Hephaestus. But visiting him involves yet another crazy mythological test because, you know, Lost Girl. So Bo and Tamsin are next tasked with going to court to stand before Judge Megaera.

To gain admittance she needs to successfully try a case to defend a tech company against one of its former app developers. Yeah, I don’t know either. But, she wins by getting both sides to talk about their feelings–which, hello, if that isn’t the gayest solution you’ve ever heard.

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Bo gets access to the blacksmith’s realm but instead finds Z in the form of … Lauren? You see, as a conduit, she is now a perfect vessel. There’s just the little problem of it killing her and all. Zeus brings Hera there because, why not. And then Elizabeth arrives to make it a real party. She and Hera have a warm fuzzy moment and then disappear for real into the well of disappearing characters. Elizabeth and Kevin wake up, no longer vessels or dead. And Bo is left with her big, bad scary weapon which is a, uh, horseshoe.

If that seemed confusing, what happens next is even more confusing. Bo and Lauren decide to finally process their relationship. Bo says she is finally on Lauren’s side and supports her turning Fae. But Lauren says she has already taken the antidote and is no longer Fae. Don’t get me started on how someone can take an antidote to something that involves implanting stem cells, just don’t. So then they break up, again. Because this show couldn’t resist having the fandom come at them with torches and pitchforks one last time before it was all over.

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Then the show teases us with some DyBo commiseration. Man, they must really love those torches and pitchforks. But just when we’re all worked up about that, it throws us a real monkey wrench. Tamsin returns to the Succu-Shack to find Bo.

She offers her support, but Bo wants a little fill-up. Uh, wow I know it’s cool for gay ladies to be friendly with their exes, but this is way too friendly. Tamsin resists at first but then gives into the very bad idea. Which turns out to be even more bad than any of us could ever imagine. Because mid-mack Bo turns into her father. Yeah, I know, that is wrong on every.single.level.

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BONUS BOOBS O’CLOCK:

Because I care about a good bargain, here’s a Boobs O’Clock twofer.

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CAPTION THIS:

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More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com.

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