“Lost Girl” Rewind Mini-Cap (5.09): 44 Minutes to Save the World

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Rewind is a weekly mini-recap following the Syfy broadcast of “Lost Girl.” Read the full episode recap for 5.09 here.

Wow, do you remember what happened four months ago when last we saw our heroines and assorted man-beasts? Yeah, I don’t really either. But, to recap: Bo was playing with her box. Tamsin was having unwanted electrical sparks with another woman. Lauren said “Oh boy” to mean “Yes, girl.”

Bo opens her box, which should surprise no one if they’ve been watching this show for all five seasons. Inside is a giant gaping hole of nothingness. Well, I already blew my vagina joke at the start of this paragraph, so please come up with your own here.

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Lauren has her blood-covered hands full in another gaping hole, the one in Mark’s stomach. While Dyson frets, a man with salt-and-pepper hair offers his assistance. Yes, it’s Bo’s papa, Hades, who has been let out of his box. But since he looks more like Julia Roberts than Anna Silk, it takes everyone a little bit to catch on to who he really is.

Meanwhile, Iris/Nyx is spreading her darkness all over the place. Yes, it’s a little on the nose, since she is evil and quite literally turning everyone into black nothingness. But these are the last eight episodes, so I guess there’s no time to beat around the bush. Kidding, there’s always time for that on this show. I don’t have a lot of time to get these jokes in people; I’m sorry.

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Tamsin, who was only mildly singed by that lightning bolt, is now all tied up by the continually feuding Zeus and Hera. Just get a divorce and be done with it, you two. Instead, Zeus gets domestic violence-y and zaps her husband into a coma. But at least she releases Tamsin.

Bo tries to talk rationally to a teenager, but it doesn’t go well. So Hades kills Iris/Nyx instead to stop her from destroying the world and killing Bo with the black-arm-o-death. And then they trap Nyx in the box, which means they can’t use it again to send Hades back. Damn, guess we’re stuck with this dude for the last next seven episodes.

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So now Bo is really sad because she can’t save everyone and one day Lauren will die. But Lauren tells her maybe she doesn’t have to. Cryptic comment is cryptic. But, who cares because right now they’re living for the moment. And in that moment they’re a happy couple holding hands, declaring their love in the middle of the street and deciding between pizza and Thai for dinner. Hey, wait, shouldn’t Lauren maybe not be in the middle of the street?

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But don’t worry. Lost Girl just didn’t actually kill yet another happy queer lady couple. I mean, make no mistake, Lauren definitely got hit by a truck. And, make no mistake, that truck definitely fucked her up. But just when you think the sad dead lesbian trope rises again, Lauren rises–her eyes blazing blue–and chi sucks Bo. It’s weird to say that was hot because of all the blood, right?

BONUS BOOBS O’CLOCK:

I do not hate this dress on Tamsin. Not one bit.

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CAPTION THIS:

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More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com.

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