“Jessica Jones” recap (1.07): Hey, I have a terrible idea

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After an appropriate amount of totally freaking out, Jessica comes to the conclusion that they can’t call the cops. This is the third death she has been directly connected to, and law enforcement tends to believe the correlation and causation connection.

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Fine, I get that. But then she decides her only option to end Kilgrave’s reign of terror is to go to jail. But it has to be the right jail. Her latest plan to catch Kilgrave is to lure him to her while she is locked up in a supermax prison to get the evidence she needs. She is going to turn herself in for Creepy Guy Twin’s murder.

Look, you don’t need me to tell you how many things are seriously flawed with this plan. And while I wouldn’t necessarily mind if the series took an unexpected Orange Is the New Black plot-turn, I must confess I’m totally rooting for this plan to fail. So is Malcolm, who tries unsuccessfully to talk her out of it.

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While all this is happening Trish and Simpson are aggressively boinking again. I could do with a lot less of this coupling show. I mean, I get it, look at the twisted kismet of an attacker (albeit forced) and his victim getting it on. But, yeah, no thanks. Though, I do like Trish bossing him around and telling him not to talk — tThat I like a lot.

Trish has a lead on Kilgrave’s whereabouts. She used her considerable talking powers to find out who is in his new security detail. Simpson does that thing where he dismisses and underestimates her, and blames Jessica for everything because he is Simpson.

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Jessica continues her Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, Go Directly to Jail plan. She finds Jeri climbing the courthouse steps, with Pam by her side–of course. Can we talk for a minute about the way Carrie-Anne Moss sashays around all the time with one hand on her hip? Like, that’s almost a full Bette Porter on the Power Lesbian Moves scale.

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Of course, the best-laid plans usually get fucked up royally, and these plans weren’t all that well laid in the first place. Malcolm is trying to help with the whole dead guy in the apartment problem. But he runs into Creepy Twin Girl in the hallway. I know we’re supposed to dislike her character, but–man–do I really dislike her character. And it doesn’t help that she calls Jessica a “harpy.”

Another character we’re not supposed to like, but I do feel sorrier for, is Wendy. She shows up at Jeri’s office. But instead of being scared into submission she is pissed into blackmail. She hands her printouts of emails proving some less than ethical behavior on Jeri’s behalf —less than ethical behavior involving bribing a juror that could get her disbarred. And she demands 75 percent of Jeri’s assets to keep quiet.

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You know who I feel sorriest for here? Pam. Poor dear, look at her face. She’s looking at Jeri like, “She’s so hot and sophisticated and brilliant and…evil?” But, gotta hand it to her, she also covers like a champ for her lady. She’s a lot more than just a dotting secretary, by quite a bit. Jeri is luckier than she deserves to be, by a lot.

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