Previously on Arrow, Oliver almost proposed to Felicity but didn’t because they got called back to Star City, ran for mayor, spoke out against Darhk publicly, and showed us a future in which he mourned over a grave.
We open with Unopposed Mayoral Candidate Oliver Queen leading a team of volunteers to clean up the bay, as promised. While the grown-ups pick up trash, Felicity teaches the children science, impressing Laurel with the way she inspires the children.
But the smiling doesn’t last long because a drone swoops in and starts firing. Everyone takes cover while Felicity hacks into the drone and takes it down.
Back at Arrow HQ, Oliver wonders aloud why Darhk cares so much about that bay. He’s extra mad because it was his fault that people were gathered there, that CHILDREN were there. He tells Diggle to give interrogating his brother another go, and even though Diggle doesn’t think it will work, he does.
Diggle starts by showing his brother pictures of the family he left behind, but Andy doesn’t react. Diggle continues to interrogate him, reminding him (and us) that the neuroblockers are out of his system so he’s free to speak, but Andy is stubborn and unhelpful.
Felicity heads home to the Loft and finds Mama Smoak, decked in blue and humming Hanukkah songs as she prepares Jewish decorations for Oliver’s holiday party.
Felicity starts to head upstairs to shower while her mother continues to putter around when a bloodcurdling scream stops her. But don’t worry, Mama Smoak didn’t find a head or anything, just an engagement ring. And for reasons I will never understand, she shows Felicity. They squeal together, excited at the promise of an impending proposal.
When they regroup, they decide that because they’re outnumbered, they’re going to rally the people. Oliver talks to reporters and reveals Damien Darhk as the leader of the Ghosts, and even shows a picture of him. He says Darhk’s Ghosts are part of HIVE and that together, Star City can stop them. He even sets up a hotline so they can help.
Needless to say, Darhk. is. PISSED. (There’s no other reason someone would break a TV.)
Laurel is sent off to man the hotline while Thea, Felicity and Diggle convince Oliver not to cancel his holiday party. They say the best way to show Star City they have everything under control is to pretend everything’s normal. Their adorableness and excellent points win him over because he’s New Oliver and he agrees to have the party as long as they have extra security.
After everyone else leaves, Oliver squats down next to Felicity’s chair to ask her a question and she gets nervous, thinking he’s about to propose.
But he just wants her assurance that they did the right thing, outing Darhk as the big bad. Felicity says they did, and they’ll be ready for the inevitable retaliation.
While Thea is in the apartment she and Laurel share (it always bears repeating) getting ready for the holiday party, Merlyn shows up to ask about her bloodlust. She thinks Darhk’s whammy totally cured her since he’s standing right in front of her and she only wants to rip out his throat with her teeth the normal amount. Merlyn is uncomfortable with this assumption, but Thea doesn’t want to look a gift whammy in the mouth. She pinky promises him that she’ll be careful; she can take care of herself.
Cue the holiday party!
Curtis shows up with his husband and Felicity is her normal super-awkward self. She asks how long they’ve been married and Curtis’s husband jokes about how gay people are better than proposing because they don’t default to the ring-in-the-dessert trick. This triggers Felicity’s memory and she remembers the abandoned soufflé.
Felicity runs to find her mother and almost goes blind from the sight of Mama Smoak and Papa Lance smooching. After quelling the nausea, she gets her mother alone and explains her theory that Oliver was originally going to propose three months ago. When Mama doesn’t say something like, “Oh proposals can only happen in six-month cycles during the crescent moon,” or anything that could explain the delay, Felicity decides to take things into her own hands.
Oliver explains that yes, he was going to propose, but then their whole lives were uplifted and they went back to fighting day in and day out. Felicity isn’t sure why that changes things; she’s pretty sure they can have their soufflé and eat it, too.
As if to prove her wrong, Dark and his haunting of Ghosts storm in. Darhk is cocky and smarmy-a real Malcolm Merlyn, this guy-and says that fighting Oliver will be too easy, so instead he’s going to snatch up those he loves. He throws Oliver across the room and has his Ghosts grab Diggle, Thea, and Felicity and they scoot out.
Captain Lance had decided in the moment to not do anything and keep his fake alliance with Darhk intact but now is doubting whether that was the right choice (probably because he knows it’s not the choice he would have made if Laurel was one of those people). Oliver says he did the right thing, orders the campaign manager to pay for everyone’s injuries, and heads out to find his Team.
He starts by suiting up and beating the snot of some Ghosts for answers, to no avail. He comes back to the Arrow Cave to check in with the one remaining member of his team, and Laurel tries to support him but mostly is over his manpain. She says they all agreed to this as a team so he has no right trying to take the burden of all the blame. Team Arrow can take care of themselves, and yes even Felicity despite the fact she does most of her fighting behind the scenes.
Oliver is still mad but more focused now so he heads out to smash more Ghost heads together and Laurel heads back to the hotline. The hotline tips her off to some suspicious activities being made by the police captain, so she marches her pretty little butt over to her father’s office. In a truly astonishing turn of events, when Laurel confronts Captain Lance about the tip she got re: him being seen with Darhk, Lance comes clean. He admits to having been Darhk’s eyes and ears to protect her, and then a double agent more recently. Laurel is mad-mostly about the lying-but not in the screamy way the Lances used to fight.
Before they can continue to talk it out, they get a text to meet Oliver. Merlyn shows up (uninvited) to the meeting, too, because he wants to save Thea. Merlyn gives Oliver a secret Ghost Phone (The Ouija 6S?) so that he can call Darhk up and offer to trade himself for the rest of Team Arrow.
Damien Darhk is across town showing around what appears to be a group of investors? Fancy heartless grown-ups in suits. Darhk is showing them around when they’re interrupted by Oliver’s text. Darhk meets him and shows him around the HIVE, showing him gas chambers he’s particularly proud of. Then he literally starts justifying the Holocaust, touting Nazis as necessary, saying the death of MILLIONS OF PEOPLE was a much-needed reset. Basically, what I’m saying is Damien Darhk is definitely voting for Donald Trump.
But don’t worry guys, Laurel Lance is suited up.
Lance and Merlyn both proceed to comment on her outfit. Her outfit that a) covers up her entire body. Yes, it’s form-fitting, but it’s not like she has even a little cleavage, b) she’s been wearing for at least months now if not years and c) is what she’s choosing to wear so everyone else in the entire world can step the fuck off.
Eh hem. Sorry.
Ahahaha-wait, no, I’m not because Laurel is about to serve up some agency of her own, please hold.
Merlyn says she has a plan and Laurel starts to follow him but Lance starts to give her the age-old speech. Laurel looks her father in the eye and says she understands his instinct to protect her, but-and I quote-“I’m the one who gets to decide if I need anyone’s protection.” And I think that’s really important, because it’s not just, “I can take care of myself,” or, “I’ve survived this long without your help,” or even, “Were YOU trained by a woman who was raised by a League of literal assassins?” but it’s, “I might need help someday, and if that day comes sure you can help me, but trust me to know when to ask for it. My biology, my decision.”
Lance, unable to give Laurel the last word, begs her to be careful, and Laurel gives him a reassuring smile.Because if she opened her mouth again she might have accidentally Canary Cried his balls off.
In the HIVE (still unclear if HIVE is an organization or just the name of a bunch of Darhk’s lackeys together so forgive my inconsistent use of it in sentences), Darhk leads Oliver to Felicity and tells him to say his goodbyes before they make the trade. Felicity is REAL MAD about this arrangement-didn’t he remember how pissed she was in Nanda Parbat when he tried to do just this? Felicity says to him, AND I QUOTE, “I’m the one who gets to decide if I need anyone’s protection.”
Which is great NOT ONLY for all the reasons I mentioned earlier but also because now I can imagine that the ladies in this universe all meet up in some sort of book club/support group situation. “In this week’s meeting of the Feminists of Flarrow, we’ll be discussing, How to Be a Hero Without Also Being A Misanthrope by Kara Danvers. Our next book will be, From Manpain to Misandry: The Woman’s Guide to Being a Vigilante by Jessica Jones.
Felicity says that Oliver had his logic twisted. Marriage isn’t about avoiding the hard stuff, it’s about getting through it together. And for the record, she would have said yes if he asked.
Darhk leads Felicity and Oliver to Diggle and Thea, but they’re not in a cozy cell like Felicity was. They’re in a gas chamber. Felicity is unceremoniously shoved in with them and Oliver starts to panic. They had a deal!
And Darhk says what half the world was shouting at their TV-he’s the bad guy. Why on earth would he follow through on his end of the deal? Oliver will be easier to handle if he’s lost all will to fight, so he’ll start with three of his biggest reasons. Gas starts seeping into the chamber and while Diggle and Thea look for weak points in the structure, Felicity mouths, “I love you,” to Ollie through the glass.
Luckily Darhk didn’t get ALL of Team Arrow, and the Black Canary shows up just in time. Also with her is Merlyn, dressed as the Green Arrow, which is a super uncomfortable thing to watch. It’s almost like the alien in Men in Black who’s wearing human skin…it’s not immediately apparent WHAT is wrong, but it feels immediately wrong nonetheless.
Laurel does her Canary Cry and cracks the glass enough for Oliver to break and free their friends.
Fighting ensues. Merlyn and Oliver vs. Darhk, the rest of Team Arrow vs. Ghosts. Captain Lance even swings in to help, but looks pointedly at his daughter and says it’s clear she doesn’t need protection this time around.
Eventually, Merlyn and Oliver leave Darhk and a bomb behind, but Felicity knows the bad guys never stay dead for long. Actually, GUYS never stay dead for long. Well, okay, WHITE guys never stay dead for long.
Laurel and Thea look at Felicity like she’s about to expose their she-woman man-haters’ club right then and there and give her the stink-eye. Thea then distracts them and finds an excuse for the ladies to go talk in private. It’s a…surprise. Yeah, a surprise.
Diggle tries one last time to get answers from his brother, but it becomes clear that Andy isn’t brainwashed in the biological sense. He just genuinely believes Darhk’s cause is worth backing. He’s that Republican relative on Facebook who shares things Trump says but not to make fun of him.
As Felicity suspected, Darhk is not dead, because it’s only the winter finale. Darhk is showing his investors(?) around a really big greenhouse of sorts. Whatever shifty thing he’s got going on is ready for Phase 4, which simply can’t be good news. But we’ll have to figure out what he needs all that corn for come January.
In the heart of Star City, Oliver leads a Christmas tree lighting, Felicity by his side, telling his people that they won’t let the darkness win. What’s fun, albeit heavy handed, about this is that he’s saying Darhkness but probably no one knows it. He says he’s grateful for everyone who supports him, and especially for Felicity. He gets down on one knee and proposes to a very happy hacker.
Everyone they love and also some strangers are all very happy for them. They get into a limo to start their new lives as fiance, but they can’t hear the chorus of creepy children singing Little Drummer Boy, so they’re more surprised than the rest of us when Ghosts stop the limo and open fire. Oliver covers Felicity but eventually climbs out and around to the driver’s seat and speeds away.
But when Oliver gets them to safety and goes to check on Felicity, he finds out what he probably guessed from the lack of snarky comments or puns about them being an army of anti-Caspers or something: Felicity has been shot. Bleeding-from-the-mouth shot.
And thus ends the winter finale of Arrow.
To break it down, here is what we know:
In the near future, Oliver will be at a grave, resolute in fighting in the name of whoever is buried beneath his feet.
Barry Allen will be at that grave, for he too has some tie to the dead person.
Felicity has been hella shot.
Oliver and Felicity are newly engaged and, therefore, the happiest they’ve ever been and therefore in the most danger they’ve ever been in.
Here’s what *I* think:
There in no way in the seven hells Barry would zoom to Felicity Smoak’s grave and be like, “Hey dude, sorry I missed the funeral.”
There is no way that Felicity’s death would result in a calm and resolute Oliver Queen not blaming himself but willing to take responsibility for her death and fight to make it right.
THERE IS NO WAY they could POSSIBLY think it would be okay to kill Felicity Smoak after NARROWLY ESCAPING the women-in-refrigerators trope with Sara.
Also, I swear to God, if Killian “Captain Hook” Jones and Agent Grant Fucking Ward got fake-out deaths this season but Felicity THE BEST ONE Smoak is dead for real, I will set actual things on fire. And if you want to argue that my examples are ABC/Marvel vs. DC I will also bring to your attention Harrison “Dr. Douchecanoe” Wells on The Flash. And, of course, Damien Darhk in this very episode.
I really, really, really, really in my heart of hearts don’t think they could possibly kill Felicity (and not just because I don’t want it to be true. They know she’s the best part of the show…right? RIGHT?) but they’ve also totally ignored Nyssa all season despite her being a huge part of last season and her girlfriend coming back from the dead, so WHO KNOWS ANYMORE?!
Okay, sorry, I’m calm now. Here’s a gif I had to look up to prove to myself I didn’t imagine the queerness on this show.
Enough from me: What did YOU think of “Dark Waters”?
