Because it’s up against Gossip Girl, I’m guessing most of you aren’t watching NBC’s spy comedy Chuck. So, I’d like to take a second to introduce you to the star of the show, my girlfriend, Agent Sarah Walker. This is her:
And these are her adorable Chuck Taylors. Why don’t you say hello to her?
Um, seriously, say hello.
Awesome, I’m so glad you two hit it off. I really wanted you to get friendly with her.
Hey, whoa! Not that friendly. Her eyes are up here. Hey! I said up here. Geez.
Anyway, the reason I want to introduce you to Agent Sarah Walker is that she’s been training with the CIA from the time that she was a teenager, so she doesn’t have a lot of exposure to regular people — especially regular ol’ lesbians and bisexuals. In fact, her interactions with women in general is one fist fight after the other.
If it’s not Julie Cooper holding a gun to her head…
…It’s Lucy Diamond holding a gun to her head.
The only bisexual woman in Sarah’s life is Anna from the Buy More, but they don’t hang out an awful lot unless Anna happens to be around when Sarah is saving Chuck’s life. And the only woman who has ever flirted with her did so in Monday night’s “Chuck Versus the Best Friend,” and, well, this is how that went down:
So, see, 50 percent of the lezbos and bisexuals she knows have tried to kill her. We need to befriend her, to show her that our community is warm and accepting. Will you give Sarah Walker a chance? Monday nights at 8 p.m. EST on NBC? Get close to her, but not too close. She is, after all, my girlfriend.