4) Tasha Williams, The L Word
There is literally no such thing as too much effort when it comes to planning a Valentine’s Day date with Tasha Williams. Whatever you put into it will be visited back on you one hundred fold when she graces you with her laughter. Nothing can prepare you for this moment. Oh, how you’d given up hope in the sound of magic after you lay awake all those Christmas Eves ago, yearning to hear the tintinnabulation of Santa’s sleigh. Yet here the magic is, in the glee of Tasha Williams. Can you bottle the sound and wear it as an amulet against the principalities of darkness in this world, you will wonder. Can the sound of such joy power the sun?
Bonus tip: Do not cheat on her — even in your mind. Captain Williams knows.
3) Lucy Diamond, D.E.B.S.
Tired of the ol’ flowers/dinner/movie V-Day combo? Consider Lucy Diamond. Perhaps she will confound your home security system, scale a wall and lead you away to a date at gun point. Perhaps she’ll take you off the beaten path to a rogue club. Or maybe, if you’re lucky, you two could hole up in her den of iniquity. If you’re looking for spontaneity, danger and an occasionally over-involved sidekick, Lucy Diamond is your girl. (Unless you’re a Russian assassin. In which case: keep looking.)
Bonus tip: Have the taking-a-bra-off-another-person thing down before you move toward second base with Lucy Diamond. One wrong snap, and you’ll be in a full-on elastic-cracking war.
2) Wil Pang, Saving Face
Yes, another surgeon. (Lesbians are drawn to doctorates like astronauts to stars.) Wil Pang may be a genius, but she’s also the kind of woman who will appreciate that the day after Valentine’s Day is when all the good candy goes on sale. It may take her a while to warm up to the idea of any sort of PDA, but she’s faithful and sincere, and just the kind of person you want on your side when the lines are drawn. And when the lines are drawn, she’ll slow dance you right out of the box.
Bonus tip: Don’t talk to her mom about your sex life. Wil prefers to let her think you spend your time together conjugating Latin verbs.
1) Luce, Imagine Me & You
Let us assume that you have created a list of qualities you are looking for in a Valentine’s Day date. Throw it away! Luce is the woman you’ve been looking for. She’ll bring you flowers and insight into your soul. She’ll choose the perfect wine with dinner. She’ll take you to a football match (soccer game, Yanks), warm your hands by a fire and explain your inevitable marriage to your little sister. And when you cannot compete with her level of articulation, she won’t care. “You’re a wanker, number nine!” is love letter enough for Luce.
Bonus tip: If she dares you to love her, do it.
Which character(s) would you spend your Valentine’s Day with? Let us know in the comments!