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“UnReal” recap (1.6): Terrible choices

This episode of UnReal is all about Mary’s family date, the dangers of mixing meds with booze, bi-polar disorder, physically and emotionally abusive spouses, and suicide. So, all in all, a pretty light episode!

I had been hearing about this show and was super pumped to start covering it. (ICYMI, there’s a newly revealed lesbian character.) Starting this late in the game filled me with questions: What will it be like? How will I know what’s happening, and who is that, again? Luckily for me there is a brief mash up of info at the beginning of the show that clued me in. For those of me weren’t up to speed this is what’s up:

Mary suffers PTSD from the physically abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Rachel found out that Mary is manic and on meds. Rachel tinkers with those meds.

Quinn says she’s suing Chet for fraud. Chet gives in to Quinn’s demands.

Okay, ready? Now for the good stuff!

The show starts with two people having sex. Jackpot! Just what mamma wants!

Then I realized it was hetero sex and was like, I’ll still take it!

These two really get going and then the dude bites her on the shoulder likes he’s some kind of defunct vampire and the girl stops because ow!

Turns out these two characters have names and they’re Jeremy and Lizzie. After Lizzie puts a halt on the sex, Jeremy asks why and Lizzie tells him that she “is not one of those porn things in Jeremy’s head.” You tell him, sister! You are not a porn thing! You are a woman! A woman who just wants some nice, respectful sex while in crew trailer on a filming lot! Is it too much to ask for, Jeremy? Is it?

The camera cuts to Rachel who is at craft services (typical) and just happens to look up as these two are leaving their sex den.

This whole episode is built on Mary and the excitement around winning the family date. Back behind the scenes, Chet makes a bet that Mary will be the next to leave because she’s old and undesirable. Quinn takes offense to it because she’s just one year older than Mary and she’s not old and undesirable. Is she? IS. SHE?

Regardless, they bet $50 that Mary will make it to the next round. Chet then leaves the room to scheme and Quinn decides to let Rachel co-produce this episode.

Y’all Quinn really hates this episode, and who can blame her? Poor Mary is about as exciting as a goldfish in math class.

Just when Quinn thinks it couldn’t be any worse, an SUV filled with kids rolls up and really makes her day. She starts throwing a fit and screaming, “Boner killer, Grade A boner killer!” Thankfully, that snake-in-the-grass, Rachel, has been mixing up Mary’s pills. What could go wrong messing with someone’s mental health?

Behind the scenes Adam and Rachel share a moment where he tells Rachel that he “hates kids” and that “in England, adults don’t have to deal with children. That’s why we invented nannies.” Then Rachel gets real close to Adam and teaches him how to talk to a kid.

Back at the yawn-fest that is Mary’s date, Mary and her family are playing Twister. Really fun activity guys. Why don’t you show Adam what a real good time looks like and play a complete game of Monopoly?

Another shot of the yawn-fest reveals Adam and Mary kneading pizza dough on a picnic table. BORING. Adam then kneels down to talk to Mary’s kid like Rachel told him and the kid calls him weird. Everyone laughs except Adam. He chuckles but you can see the hate beneath his eyes.

Then out of NOWHERE that chick Anna walks up with a rabbit! A real rabbit! Anna is all, “Oh, here you go kids, here is a rabbit to look at instead of pizza dough.” Then Adam chirps in something robotic like, “Aww so sweet of you!” And Mary LOSES IT.

Mary turns into a demon-probably because she’s been mixing her meds with booze-and is all “Sweet? Is it? This is my date. With Adam.”

Everyone looks really scared but then Anna leaves and Mary is happy again.

Mary’s sister pipes up and is all “Uh, is everything okay? Has she been drinking? I don’t think she is okay.” And sound girl Shia is all, “Who, Mary? What are you talking about? She’s fine.”

Meanwhile, Chet reminds Quinn that it’s pitch day and asks if she wants to run anything by him. Uh, no Chet. She doesn’t. Remember how last time she did that you STOLE her idea? Also, cool name, Chet. Later on, we see the two pre-meeting with Chet giving her advice.

This dude is a grade a charmer. His advice? To “tickle their balls.” Quinn assures him that she knows how to tickle balls and the two have a nice laugh. However, during the meeting Quinn starts to tank but Chet picks up the ball and scores a slam-dunk. Looks like Chet knows his ways around balls.

Quinn senses that the episode is going to be boring and decides to call up Mary’s ex-husband. Yeah, the same ex-husband that used to beat her and broke Lillybill’s arm. Bellybear? Billybell? Lillbill. It was really hard for me to understand the kid’s name.

Anyways, that Quinn decides, “Every white knight needs a dark knight.” Like she already knows that bringing Mary’s ex on the show is like inviting a bull into a china shop. Rachel convinces herself that it would be good for Mary to confront the man who used to beat her.

Then Adam finds Anna and they flirt off camera! Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle! Adam tells Anna to meet him at this spot after dinner for more one-on-one time and she agrees.

Rachel tells Shia about bringing Mary’s ex on the show. Thankfully Shia calls out the bullshit-however, she still doesn’t do anything about it.

The cameras cut back to Mary who is super excited about going on a helicopter ride with Adam. Something isn’t right with Mary and at one point she uses the phrase “Rode hard and put away wet.” Everyone is like, “Uh, what?”

Just then, a guy name Kirk gets out of a black S.U.V. Guess who Kirk is? Yep. Mary’s Ex. I was surprised when I saw what Kirk looked like. I thought he would look like a Nascar fan with a beer gut. Instead, he looked like a hip dad.

I thought it was fantastic that they showed that domestic violence isn’t wrapped up into one type of package. (If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence there is help: http://www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224.)

As soon as Kirk walks in he’s like, “What’s up? It me Kirk.” Mary gets scared real fast and tells him to leave. Rachel sends Adam into the scene and things go from 0-100 real fast. Kirk calls Mary a delusional hag and then gets into a couple of fights. At point of the fight, Kirk zeros in on Rachel. He’s just about to hit her when Jeremy cuts him off.

It’s like a crazy sausage fest.

Mary, who is visibly shaken, turns to Rachel and tells her that this was all Rachel’s fault.

Adam and Mary get ready to go on their date, but Adam confides in Rachel that Mary is too much to handle. Rachel says that they can’t kick Mary off yet or Adam will look like a jerk. Then Rachel asks Adam if he likes someone and he looks at her and says maybe.

At the end of the date Adam tells the camera that he has a new respect for Mary. They make out in front of Mary’s kids and sister.

After the date Mary is giving her on-camera interview but then stops to go talk to Kirk. She goes to tell him that she doesn’t need him anymore, but Kirk is a disgusting master manipulator that ends up messing with Mary’s head. Kirk tells Mary that she’ll end up passing her sickness on to their daughter and she believes him.

Then the unthinkable happens: One of the production assistants rushes in the production room and tells Quinn that someone is on the roof. That someone is Mary. Quinn sends Rachel to the roof to talk Mary down. Mary tells Rachel that she that she doesn’t want to hurt her baby. Rachel pleads with Mary not to do it and to think of her family. Rachel reaches her hand out to Mary, but Mary doesn’t take it. Instead, Mary tells Rachel to come with her and then she jumps.

The show ends in a cliffhanger-is she dead? Or just severely injured? I’m honestly hooked on this show now. How can Rachel live with herself knowing she killed a woman? Will Jeremy finally have sex? Will Shia finally speak up about the wrong doings going on in the show? AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THE LESBIAN ON THE SHOW?!

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