The Rich Man’s Daughter (TRMD) is back! It’s always back; it’s on every day on GMA in the Philippines. If you don’t live in the Philippines, you can watch it with subtitles on Daily Motion.
We have to give the some props (are people still saying “props”?) for dealing with some very important issues, like how to be gay when you have a dad who literally beats up gay people (the answer is: get out of there). When I first started watching, I was amused by the sheer melodrama. I don’t watch a lot of soap operas, so I’m not used to a character repeating the same exact question 15 times, and I’m also not used to people crying for ENTIRE EPISODES, or just staring into the distance until the next commercial break. If you like a very slow pace, or if you have memory problems, this show is totally for you. I started out amused, but now that I’m further into TRMD, I’m actually horrified. I feel like I’m watching a scary movie and I had to turn all the lights on and call a friend. Shit is going down in this sappy drama! Suicides, hit men, beatings and blonde lesbians with horrifying, choppy haircuts popping up out of nowhere. This shit is scary.
We kick off with David asking Jade one more time, “Hey, why don’t you love me? And is there someone else?” He proceeds to ask her this, and all of her friends, a million times–that is the entire episode. Meanwhile, the eldest Tachingo brother, Gabriel, makes a sneaky phone call to a lady who, we find out, is his one true love (but he let her get away—she wasn’t up to his family’s standards. I’m guessing because she never wears any blazers).
So just to recap, the eldest brother (Gabriel) let his dream girl get away, the second brother (Paul) is gay and is being pressured to hide it by the family, and the youngest daughter (Jade) is a closeted lesbian. And the parents just keep yelling at all of them.
Oscar, the dad, tries to set Paul up on a date with a girl and Paul agrees. Jade seeks vague relationship advice from her mother, doing that thing we all do when we are still in the closet–“I love this person. I don’t want to hurt them.” But no one catches on that she is being mad shady about her pronouns.
Jade cries and cries and cries–I’m actually worried that the actress might die of dehydration–but despite all of the tears, her eyebrows always look amazing, as do everyone’s on this show. I think the eyebrow artist for TRMD should win a Daytime Emmy.
Paul keeps his promise to his dad and goes on a date. The girl is super annoying, so he realizes he cannot for the life of him be straight. He also sees some hot dudes in the corner and is like, fuck this shit. He gets up dramatically and leaves her in the middle of her story about her gal pals in college.
Based on vague advice from Jade’s mom Amanda that she should break up with “the person” who she loves besides David, Jade makes a plan to do it. She shows up at the funeral for Althea’s dad to break her heart. This is confusing because I’m pretty sure we already had his funeral. Maybe it lasts for a few days? I don’t know. So Jade arrives in a pink blazer and realizes it would be pretty mean to dump her girlfriend here.
Gabriel sees his love, Angie, and not much happens. He basically says, “Sorry, I never married you just because you aren’t fancy.” Then Althea has some crazy flashbacks to her former husband, Tommy, who beat her and threw some kind of milky substance in her face. The worst part about this is that her dad, while putting ice on her face, says, “This is your fault, too. You didn’t marry who you love.” Probably the #1 thing you don’t say to people who are victims of abuse, but Althea thinks he is sweet and cries some more.
Finally, Jade goes to Althea’s apartment and breaks up with her. But then, like a typical lesbian, she won’t leave. Althea is like, please go, but Jade just stays and cries. Meanwhile, Jade’s mom told her brother Paul to go spy on her and make sure she ends it with her boyfriend. Paul sees the two of them, and we’re all like, “OOHHHHH NOOOOO secret’s out.” He is so going to tell on her.
This is the best part of the show because Paul has the opportunity to out Jade, which she did to him years ago, and he takes the high road. Phew. They hug and kind of make up. Paul seems happy to have another gay around the house
Jade asks Paul for 30 minutes, what is this gayness? From whence did it come? Why me? Why gay? Why you? WHY!?
Meanwhile, I’m wondering, WHO IS TAKING CARE OF THE DOG that Althea gave Jade like 10 years ago in episode two. No one has even walked this dog once.