“Carmilla” recap (2.1 & 2.2): Bloody Hell


Carmilla is back and based on our readers’ love and devotion to the series (okay, and ours) we will be doing mini-recaps on Fridays of the week’s episodes.

When we last saw Carmilla, Laura, LaFontaine and Perry, they were spending Christmas hiding out from not only the evils unleashed at Silas University, but some angry villagers as well. You try to drain the sweet sweet blood of one mayor, and look what happens, Carm. After a “waitress” who turned out to be a sadistic Mrs. Claus, tried to literally turn the gingers into gingerbread, Laura gave Carmilla her blessing to eat the witch. Kids today are so evolved about relationships.

If you’ve been keeping up with Carmilla and Laura’s Twitter accounts, you will see that they’ve been dealing with all sorts of mystical shenanigans in the time between last season and now. For example:


Canada is crazy, y’all! After escaping yet another calamity, the gang has found themselves a nice, spooky mansion to lay low in. And that’s were we pick up the story. As Laura tries to vlog, a need even stronger than Carmilla’s thirst for blood, her vamptastic girlfriend reminds her there are way better things to think about other than social media and the apocalypse.

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.17.25 AMWorth. The. Wait.

It’s all very adorable and, frankly, a little hot. They cuddle, and play with each other’s hair and do all these girlfriendy things. Laura explains that their escape plan was a bust and they are now back on Silas’s campus, with plans to get back into the library. You know, the killer library? Great plan, Hollis. Carmilla threatened the previous residents (psychology TAs) with death and dismemberment, and now they have a safe place to ride out this craziness. Or do they?

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.23.44 AMThey are even starting to smirk in tandem.

That whole thing about the light demon? Well, that turned out to be an angler-fish god, who got his big ol’ ass stuck in the hell mouth beneath Silas. He’s on ice for the time being. Yay!

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.29.15 AMShall we get back to the kissing?

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.30.45 AMJK, thanks for the clitoference, LaF.

Well, Carmilla might not be happy to see you, LaFontaine, but we are! LaFontaine fills the girls in on the sitch: The library is a no-go, Perry went to the newspaper to see if she could get the scoop, and people are exhausting when it comes to getting their pronouns right. Don’t worry, LaFontaine, they will come around. LaFontaine has toured the mansion, and it’s the shit! Full of hot tubs and trap doors, and animal skulls. I wonder if this joint is available on AirBnB.

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