“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 6.01 “Long Night’s Journey Into Day”

THIS WEEK’S L WORD VOCABULARY:

Explanations: A way to fill the minutes in an uneventful episode.

Promises: Bette’s version of "Yes, we can!"

Flaring: A sign that you’re serious. And adorable.

THIS WEEK’S GUESTBIANS: Janina Gavankar has a balcony scene; Kate French and Clementine Ford suffer the wrath of Schecter; Guinevere Turner makes unearthly noises; Lucy Lawless lays down the law (you knew I couldn’t resist!).

Aaaand, we’re back — When we last saw the lusty, loquacious ladies of The L Word, Shane and Niki were having a rendezvous on a railing, Alice and Tasha were drifting apart, and Bette and Tina were reuniting (and it felt so good). Also, Lez Girls was becoming less lez-y, Helena was conquering the Planet, and Jodi was killing Bette not-so-softly with her art. And Jenny was realizing she was in love, only to have her heart broken all over again.

Who can save me from all the meta-drama of last season? Who can rescue me, whisk me away, assure me that everything’s going to be all right?

Oh, that’ll work! Lucy Lawless has traded in her chakram for a pair of handcuffs. Yum. (If the words on the picture make no sense to you, do yourself the favor of watching the Xena intro.)

Sergeant Sexy has just arrived at a crime scene, and somehow she makes the police siren seem more like a wolf whistle. Another cop gives her the 411:

Officer: Well, they seem to be having a party of some kind, uh … there’s seven ladies inside, and a little girl.

Sounds like the makings of a nice night, but this one took a turn for the hearse. There’s one more lady on the scene: the one who was found facedown in the pool. We go inside the house, where Shane is wrapped in a towel, Bette is wearing a robe and Alice is biting her nails in a cartoonish, eating-corn-on-the-cob way.

Max, on the other hand, appears to be eating a caterpillar.

At least, I think that’s Max. It could be Zeke from Doonesbury.

Sergeant Sexy introduces herself: her name is actually Sergeant Mary Beth Duffy. Ah, that brings to mind another Mary Beth who made me swoon. Wouldn’t they make a great team?

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