“Lost Girl” Rewind Mini-cap (5.7): Here Comes the Night

on

Rewind is a weekly mini-recap following the Syfy broadcast of Lost Girl. Read the full episode recap here.

OK, who lit this scene? Seriously, what’s happening? Are they shooting this through pond water? Why is everything so dark and murky? Look, I get a twister just came though and royally fucked up downtown Toronto, but someone please grab some damn collapsible reflectors and bounce some damn light on those faces? Like, how are we supposed to see Bo’s “Oh Shit” face when Tamsin calls her “girlfriend?”

060115LGrewind1

The Fae ancients leader lady is admiring her work with three pet eyeless oracles chained up on her couch. Back at Lauren’s clinic, she is swamped treating the injured. Bo, Tamsin and Dyson arrive to update everyone on the situation. Tamsin wants to go back out with Bo to sweep the streets, but she decides to stay to protect Lauren’s serum. Oh, that’s what they’re calling it now.

So Tamsin leaves but not without planting a big one on her “girlfriend.” And, of course, Lauren sees it, too. Yep, the good thing about gay ladies is no matter the natural disaster/pending apocalypse we can always find time for relationship drama.

060115LGrewind2

At the Dal, sexual relations drama is unfolding instead. Vex has a libidinous wine cellar encounter with Teen Wolf. It’s all very forward, but also kind of strange. I mean, nothing wrong with Vexie getting some from the fellas or the ladies. This show’s pansexual smorgasbord continues to delight. But, yeah, something is just not quite right here.

Meanwhile Dyson and Tamsin have a bro-to-bro about her jealousy of Lauren. That is to say they say very little, but much is still said. Speaking of Bo and Lauren, they’re panicking because the mystery cryo box Evony dropped off is out of power. It pops open and the oldest, scariest Fae to ever live…isn’t there. At least, they don’t see anything. Yay, crisis averted! Let’s hug it out, eh?

060115LGrewind3

A hug turns into a dance. A dance turns into a kiss. A kiss turns into a snog. All the while, Lauren explains she’s not working for anyone–especially not Evony–but herself. Because for her life is shorter, so she wants to make it count. Boy, do they ever.

Unfortunately, Tamsin walks in and sees them boy-do-they-ever-ing all over the lab. Which, of all the ways to find out you’re not in as committed a relationship as you thought, is probably the worst. No matter who you ship, you’ve gotta feel bad for that poor, brokenhearted Valkyrie right now.

060115LGrewind4

Their post-coital bliss is interrupted when yet another of Lauren’s assistants turns up dead. This workplace has a terrible retention rate. So there was a big bad in that box after all. Speaking of big bads, Dyson discovers the Fae ancients dude is actually Hera. So nice gender twist making the lady Zeus, show.

Dyson then has his own sexual relations drama when he gets an unexpected night visitors, too. It’s Bo, or at least looks and smells like Bo. They talk about timing and feelings and balls. Bo acts jealous of the wife of the body Hera snatched. They kiss and once again something is just not quite right here.

060115LGrewind5

As if a killer twister, chained oracles, strange hookups, Doccubus nookie, Valkubus heartbreak and Greek gods weren’t enough storyline this week, an unkillable ancient evil is also now on the loose. Bo and Lumber Butch confront Evony and Vex about it.

But don’t worry, the oogie-boogie is actually Eros the god of love. He and Evony used to date, but then he dumped her for Psyche. Earth hath no fury like a woman scorned an all. Bo uses Lauren’s 82 percent throwing skills to land a rigged-up axe into the god’s back and then a bolt of lightning does the rest.

060115LGrewind6

But it’s not over yet, because then Trick gets his own “unusual sexual interaction.” He reveals they’re really oracle visions, a ruse to extract truth from their victim’s truth. The oracles show each of their marks what their heart most desires. Next they show up at Bo’s and show her–Dyson. She lets him down easy. Because love changes. But then, all of a sudden, it’s Lauren. She promises she is true and says as long as she is alive they can’t not be together. Trick busts in to stop them. But it’s too late because they already have her “truth.” Something about an “it” she doesn’t even know she had.

For her troubles poor Cassie gets thrown off a balcony. But as sad as that is it’s not the worst fall of the episode. That would be Tamsin and Bo’s relationship. Tam-Tam tells Bo she knows her heart truly lies with her. But, alas, here comes the “I love you, but not in that way” speech. Poor Tamsin asks what’s wrong with her, because Lauren and Dyson and Rainer were all good enough but not her. Finally, something all Lost Girl fandom can agree on–the utter shittiness of Rainer. And then Tamsin leaves angry, hurt, defiant. And the Valkubus fandom all heads to the bar for a drink and a good cry.

060115LGrewind7

BONUS BOOBS O’CLOCK:

060115LGrewind8

CAPTION THIS: 

060115LGrewind9

READ THE FULL LOST GIRL 5.07 RECAP HERE.

More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com

More you may like

Comments are closed.