Maggie and Liza must vacate their apartment due to a bed bug scare, so Maggie’s high-tailing it to a friend’s for a few days while Liza decides it won’t be so terrible to crash with Josh. (Does this mean we don’t get to see Maggie at all?) Anyway, not having access to their safe haven might prove difficult for Liza, because Josh’s apartment looks like Ashton Kutcher’s place from an episode of MTV Cribs—before he got together with Demi Moore.
Liza finds out the book she’s been trying to shop all over suburbia has spread across other suburban mom book clubs, and her cubicle is piled high with motivated, desperate, hungry women who want to see The Scarf get published. Kelsey advises Liza to set up a meeting with Charles, but Diana Trout is less than pleased, as per usual, that she can’t take credit for this masterful mission.
After explaining the situation, Charles says he can’t wait to read it and Diana demands a copy ASAP and for Liza to clean up the mess because it, “Looks like a Stevie Nicks’ estate sale,” the mess being all the scarves women have been sending in all week in their support of the book. Kelsey tells Liza they better go out and celebrate tonight (famous last Kelsey words)—this time a “proper” double date with Kelsey, Thad, Liza and Josh. It hasn’t yet been explained what happened with Kelsey and the Swede. Was the “walrus incident” enough to call the whole thing off? What, she didn’t dig that grossly weird compliment?
Either way, Thad’s able to break from his busy uptown schedule to visit Brooklyn, and the pairs go to a Chinese restaurant where they have a conversation about Chinese zodiac compatibility. Someone have these people call me so I can give them their natal charts.
We’re all ‘80s babies, right?
Back at Josh’s place, there’s an influx of boys (some friends decided to ride up from Philly) and even though Josh fixed his door, the privacy Liza will get here is yet to be seen. Something that is seen however is that massive shit in the toilet that “boy on the couch with the video game controller” can’t seem to flush down. Liza excuses herself after the boys ask Josh if this is his girlfriend. Way to put your bro on the spot, dudes. Josh cracks under pressure and says they’re just “hanging out.” Oof.
The next morning, Liza finds out Charles wants to go ahead and make the author of The Scarf an offer. So, Kelsey and Liza call up Meredith Montgomery to give her the big news. Meredith (played by guest star and SNL alum Ana Gasteyer) looks like a tired, underpaid middle school Lit teacher with just a small dwindling fire of hope left inside her. She can’t get her kids to put down their damn iPhones. (Gone are the tender days of passing notes…) and she’s tried to write a dozen books to no avail.
Come again? I can’t hear you over all these kids texting in my class.
After a few seconds, she finally realizes what she’s hearing is real: These gals on the phone want to publish her book. She ditches her class and leaves. After sweetening her to the idea of what a sleeper hit her novel could be, everyone’s game and Kelsey invites Liza to stay with her until the bed bug situation clears up and Josh gets his head on straight. As they walk up the sidewalk to Kelsey and Lauren’s, Liza realizes there are two chirpy excited parents standing at the stoop. They live with Lauren’s parents.
It’s Kathy Najimy! It’s Kathy Najimy! She plays Lauren’s mom Denise—a self-proclaimed Jewish den mom who wants to get in on girl talk, even if it includes her daughter’s sex life, saying Lauren will sleep with anyone: “Man, woman, trans, amphibian.” Denise wants to know all about The Scarf, plugging that she knows a lady on Real Housewives of New York who could flash a copy onscreen. She also wants to know all about Josh—and after hearing about their “hang out,” she advises Liza to ignore his texts. Well, Liza tries her hardest, but then she’s awkwardly interrupted in her bedroom by Denise’s creepy husband, who wants to know if she would like almond or soy milk, maybe water? No, no, no. Is this supposed to be an attempt at showing that older men can’t help but go gaga over Liza?
Remember, Liza, remember!
Anyway, the next day at work is a total disaster when Diana calls the girls into a meeting with Meredith Montgomery to talk about her book. Confused, the girls soon realize there’s a big, big problem. Denise is holding a copy of something called The Babushka. It would appear that Meredith plagiarized her suburban could-be hit. After this revelation, it’ll only ever be a treat in the streets and never a nightstand read in the sheets. No one will get their hands on a copy because it’s a total rip-off. Charles is way disappointed, and Diana is pissed but morbidly pleased that she managed to save the day, in front of Charles no less. Liza has a private moment with Meredith where she defends her web of lies to Liza—and hey, Liza gets that.
Maggie’s back, bitches.
Now that the bed bug situation is cleared up, Maggie and Liza can reunite and drink about all this mess that happened while they were apart. After Liza fills her in on all the details, she decides she really needs to tell Josh the truth. At the bar, Kelsey’s BF Thad did something right: He bought them 14 different types of tequila to help soothe the pain. Kelsey assures Liza she’ll get it next time. Josh fesses to Liza that—okay, sure—they’re doing a little bit more than just “hanging out.” To prove it, he shows off his newest tattoo. It’s a dragon, for Liza’s “birth year.”
Right, the dragon. In this case, Liza’s a crouching dragon, hidden tiger. And Josh, oh, one day he can totally turn that slinky dragon into a tree or something.
Yeah, I see your Liza dragon. But get a load of Maggie’s face.
Tune in next week for an all new episode of Younger on TV Land. Tuesday, 10/9 c And follow me on Twitter @the_hoff!