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“Finding Carter” introduces Carter’s queer BFF

If you’ve never watched Finding Carter before, here’s what you’ve missed so far: the plot of The Face on the Milk Carton.

JK, JK (kind of). Finding Carter is about a teenage girl who finds out she was kidnapped as a toddler, but unlike The Face on the Milk Carton, Carter ends up staying with her biological family. She now lives with her parents, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (sans British accent) and Libby from Lost (but not dead). She also has a twin sister, Taylor, who is, oddly enough, not played by actress Kathryn Prescott‘s real-life identical twin, Megan. ?»\_(Òâä)_/?»

There’s also a little brother, Grant, (but no one really cares about him), some wacky and wealthy grandparents, Carter’s best friend Max (who has dated both twins), and a gaggle of other teenage friends. Oh and Lori, the kidnapper, is actually the twins’ biological mother (she was an egg donor). Also, there was a terrible dude named Crash (who shot Max last season), but he’s gone now to Army with Buster Bluth. Those are the most important characters, so let’s move on to last night’s episode (written by out lesbian Jen Braeden).

It’s Elizabeth’s birthday! Happy birthday, Elizabeth! (But let’s all pour one out for poor Libby from Lost, who will never see another birthday again. THANKS MICHAEL.) Elizabeth wants to have a family dinner, and everyone is hoping that it will make Grant see what he’s missing out on and come home. (Oh yeah, Grant lives with their grandparents at the moment because Elizabeth and David aka Wesley are separated and everything is crazy.) Carter is down for a family dinner, on account of the fact that she’s grounded for getting into a car accident. (FYI, the accident was Taylor’s fault, but Carter is taking the blame.) The doorbell rings and Carter opens the door to find an old friend from her previous/kidnapped life, Madison.

Carter isn’t too happy to see Madison, because that B has not called/texted/emailed/snapchatted /whatever-the-kids-are-doing-these-days even one time since Carter found out that her mom is actually her kidnapper. Madison tries to apologize and explains that her parents wouldn’t let her anywhere near Carter, but Carter is still pissed. Elizabeth, David, and Taylor open the door, and Carter begrudgingly introduces them to her “friend.”

After promising to have zero fun together, Elizabeth and David allow Madison to come inside even though Carter is grounded. Once they’re alone again in Carter’s room, Madison tells Carter the whole story-her parents kicked her out. She used to always run to Carter and Lori when that happened before, so here she is now. Carter forgives her and they hug it out.

Downstairs, there’s another wayward youth at the door. This time it’s Max. Max, by the way, is really, really adorable. (And I’m also pretty envious of his flowing locks.) Max and Taylor sit down and process some feels-they have quite a history together. (They dated and broke up and kind of got back together, but are now broken up again.) Max apologizes for talking to Carter about Taylor behind her back, but they were both worried because Taylor has been making her way into Jessie Spano territory. (She’s so excited! She’s so… so… scared!)

Taylor assures him that she’s doing okay now, and she will let him know if she decides to take any more pills. She also tells him that maybe she’s been going a little crazy lately because she found out that crazy Lori is her bio-mom. Max is very sweet and reassuring and, generally, a dreamboat. Taylor invites Max to family dinner just before Carter and Madison come downstairs, and Madison plants a kiss right on Max’s lips (much to Taylor’s dismay).

Max explains to Taylor that he and Madison grew up together, and Madison takes that opportunity to also point out that they used to fool around. She jokes that Max “turned her gay,” but Carter’s like, “Yeah, that’s not how that works.” Both of Madison’s old friends seem very used to her flippant attitude. Max is like, “Welp, this is getting awkward so I’m going to work okay bye!”

Madison makes herself at home and gushes some more about how great Max is. And it’s true, Max is lovely, but Madison is saying it just so she can make Taylor jealous. Madison also mentions that Max has been through a lot, like oh, say, watching his mom get attacked when he was little, for instance. Taylor has never heard that story, and Madison feigns surprise that anyone who knows Max well wouldn’t know that story. I want to like Madison, because I want to like all queer characters, but so far, she kind of sucks.

Grant is in the car with his grandmother (played by out actress Meredith Baxter), complaining about having to go to family dinner. This kid whines a lot. He was less annoying when the show started out, but lately it’s getting kind of painful. His grandma is like, “Listen Kid, I really want to get you out of the house so your Pop Pop and I can do some of kinky roleplaying. You understand.” Grant does not understand, so he broods and glares out the window.

Back at the house, David and Elizabeth argue about Carter’s punishment. David thinks she should get her phone back, but Elizabeth would be perfectly happy if Carter never left the house and/or communicated with anyone outside of the family again. David’s like, “Listen, I totally get why you’re scared because our daughter was kidnapped twice, which is pretty remarkable. Maybe we could let her see the light of day again soon, though?”

In Carter’s room, Madison fills Carter in about what’s been happening in their old town, but Carter wants to get the scoop about Madison’s parents. Madison explains that her parents heard a rumor that she had some big lesbian crushes, and they confronted her. They told Madison that she couldn’t live under their roof if she was going to be that way. Carter tells Madison that she’s sorry, and Madison tries to blow it off like it’s no big deal, but she’s obviously hurt.

Madison doesn’t want to dwell on her feelings, so she tells Carter that they should go out and have some fun. Carter reminds Madison that she’s grounded, and Madison laughs about how Lori didn’t even know the meaning of the word “grounded.” Madison is also way too interested in Lori, asking to see the letters Carter has gotten from her (but not opened).

Madison can’t believe how Carter’s life has gone from wild and fun and free with Lori to grounded and boring with Elizabeth. Carter has finally had enough of hearing that, so she tells Madison that they can sneak out and do something. They tiptoe down the stairs and right out the front door. (I never snuck out as a youth-is it really that easy?) Also, I don’t trust Madison at all, but I think I kind of ship her and Carter. Yes, I know I have a problem.

Madison takes Carter to look at an apartment, and, just in case you weren’t sure she’s a lesbian, asks Carter to move in with her. (Always be U-Haulin’, y’all.) Carter is like, “Uh, dude. We are teenagers and we have no money. This seems quite ill-advised.” Madison just wants to live free, like Carter did with Lori. She also lets it slip that she’s been talking to Lori (who is in a mental hospital at the moment). Carter is understandably pissed that Madison didn’t tell her.

Madison charms her way back into Carter’s good graces by basically being like, “I’m sorry I’m a dick, but I knew you’d forgive me because you’re so nice and awesome.” Not a bad tactic.

Back at the house, Taylor is being pissy with Max and he has no idea why. Not really sure why Taylor is mad about the fact that Max didn’t share a traumatic childhood story with her. Anytime someone opens their heart up to you it’s a gift, but Taylor is acting like it’s her right to know everything about Max. Slow your roll, TayTay. She confronts him about it, and doesn’t back down even when he’s clearly uncomfortable. UGH, Taylor, what even? Stop it. This is not about you.

Elizabeth and David are cooking dinner when David’s TA (who he is dating) shows up to drop off some very important folders. Elizabeth invites her to stay and have some wine. Aca-awkward.

Max and Taylor go upstairs to escape the weirdness and Max apologizes for not telling her about his mom’s attack. Taylor backtracks and says it’s none of her business, but Max starts telling her anyway. Exposition time! Max tells Taylor that the one thing only Carter knows is that the attacker was his dad. Taylor is like, “Wow, sorry for making you drudge up these really painful memories.” Max is like, “Yeah, it’s cool or whatever. I’m not hungry for family dinner anymore, though-gonna go cry alone prob.”

Back down in awkward-town, Kyle shows up. (Oh, Kyle has been banging Elizabeth for some years, btw.) While the dirty mistresses sit at the kitchen island, Elizabeth and David cook and flirt and just generally act like their marriage isn’t the worst. TA knows when to cut and run, so she peaces out. As TA is leaving, David opens the door to find Carter and Madison just arriving home.

Elizabeth and David are pissed and Madison doesn’t help matters by telling them they were looking for an apartment to move into. Carter tries to tell them she’s not planning to move, but her parents freak out anyway. Taylor wants to help things, so she starts to tell everyone that the car accident wasn’t Carter’s fault, it was Taylor’s. Carter stops her, though, so Taylor stomps off gloomily.

Upstairs, Carter wants to know why Madison told her parents she was moving out. Madison doesn’t think it’s a big deal and jokes about it, but Carter is like, “JFC woman, can you not use humor to deflect your feelings like ONE time?” Madison rags on Carter’s family, but Carter stands up for them. Madison tells Carter that she’s just running away from her past, and Carter tells Madison that she needs to leave.

Downstairs, Elizabeth and her mom are arguing about parenting, but then Gammy faints! Oh no! Gammy! Elizabeth can’t find a pulse for a minute, but then she comes to. She’s a tough old bird, that Gammy, and she’s ready for some bourbon. Turns out Gammy didn’t take her pills, but all is okay now. I’m not a doctor, but I’m not 100% sure that’s how this works.

A little later on, Max comes back to the house to pick up Madison and he shares some more feels with Taylor. He’s a very forgiving guy because he’s had to be, which is I guess why he forgave Crash for shooting him that one time.

Madison comes downstairs and asks Carter to hold her hand through the catflap walk her out. She tells Carter she’s going to stay with Max for a few days while she figures things out. She also apologizes and tells Carter she’s jealous of having a great family and a new life without her. Carter tells her she can be part of her life, and invites her back inside, but Madison doesn’t want to do anymore damage. She tells her to text her as soon as she gets her phone back and also to not get kidnapped again before then. Solid advice.

Back inside the house, it turns out Grant isn’t totally useless-he made a cake. He also wants to stay the night, if that’s okay. Elizabeth can’t say “yes” fast enough, and David tells Elizabeth that after he drops her mom off he will make himself scarce. Elizabeth insists he come back to the house for the night, and David says okay, but insists that Elizabeth take the bedroom. I don’t get their relationship!

Carter goes to visit Taylor in her room and assures her that she is not going to move in with Madison. The sisters do some sisterly bonding, and Taylor makes Carter promise her not to ever leave. Carter points out that they are going to college soon, so Taylor says they have to talk everyday no matter what. Pinky swear! The girls go downstairs and then the whole family does some bonding and they eat Grant’s cake. Elizabeth finally gives Carter back her phone, and Carter immediately checks her voicemail. She has a message from the hospital: Lori tried to commit suicide.

So what’d you guys think of Madison’s character? I’m guessing this isn’t the last we’ve seen of her. Let me know here in the comments or on twitter @jennalykes.

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