Guys, I was all set to write a really involved recap for this episode, but then I saw the preview for the next episode, and now it’s all I can think about. Despite the new found prevalence of the Netflix binge-watch model, nothing can beat the delicious anticipation of knowing that in a mere week, two women will hold hands. But in the meantime, it was another very solid episode of Wentworth, and a bunch of Totally Gay Shit happened.
So previously, Joan beat and tortured Jodie to get her to stab Bea as part of her Evil And Needlessly Complex Plan. But then! Franky and Bea put aside their differences and re-tortured Jodie to get her to testify against Joan. (This was part of Bea’s Increasingly Morally Ambiguous Plan and Franky’s Hot Girl/Hot Car Self-Actualization Process.) Meanwhile, Fletch came to the conclusion that he probably threw himself in front of that murder van, so it’s going to come as an awful shock one of these days when he remembers that was not the case. Everyone was trying to frame Will for murder, when all he wanted was to try and be a good boyfriend to the hot doctor. Vera got infected with Hep-C because of Joan’s turdishness, which will hopefully break up their alliance. Sophie dismayed her mother by hanging out with Franky/being overall pretty psyched to be in prison. And Bridget Westfall announced that she was a lesbian and probably in love with Franky, and even though she still isn’t Erica, it was Pretty Fucking Hot.
This week begins with Jodie and Joan remembering their times in the Closet of Torture. The writers have walked back from the implication that the torture had a sexual component, which is probably a good thing since we’ve already got a lot of sexually violent lesbians roaming around this season. Joan recalls Jodie’s screams with a fond smile, so I guess we can add “sadist” to the list of fucked up things about Joan. Jodie, on the other hand, rehashes the experience for the benefit of Bea and Mr. Channing, between whom it’s really a toss-up who hates Joan more. There’s going to be a full investigation now that the ombudsman has been notified.
There’s a brief scene with Doreen visiting the father of her baby, to remind us that he is still alive and hasn’t shaved. We also learn that Doreen has just under a year until she’s up for parole. And much as I love Shareena Clanton and the shot of joy her presence injects into this show, in a way I would be happy to see Doreen released. She could come back as a counselor so long as, like I mentioned in my last recap, nothing bad happens to her ever.
Next up, there’s another H Block dance party, led by the enthusiastically arrhythmic Boomer.
Sophie joins in when one of the inmates pulls her on the table. It all looks pretty middle school sleepover to me except maybe the part when the inmate grabs Soph’s boobs.
You know who doesn’t think this display of female affection is very innocent? That would be Mama Bear Liz.
She takes Sophie aside and explains that in prison that kind of lascivious behavior is “asking for it.” Now, there’s a lot to unpack in that statement. Firstly, one can no more ask to be raped in prison than anywhere else, and to suggest otherwise is some super regressive victim-blaming. On the other hand, Liz is speaking from experience and fear for her daughter, whose judgment leaves a lot to be desired. There is also, one senses, a part of Liz that just doesn’t want to see her daughter grinding on another woman, whether that woman is Suze Orman or Hepatitis-Lucy. Tell me what you think about it in the comments.
You know who is doing much better this week? Fletch. Not only are all his physical limitations gone without a trace, he has achieved the kind of unflappable enlightenment Zen masters spend lifetimes chasing. He’s even back to courting Vera again, who has to awkwardly put it on hold until she figures out her Hepatitis situation. He does, however, have an odd moment where he bumps into the guy who ran him over last season and has a flash of recognition. I’m willing to bet that when he finally remembers the truth about his “accident,” his newfound emotional stability will disappear just as fast as his extensive nerve damage.
In other guard news: Will is making a sally at this week’s Competitive Male Decency title by cooking the hot doctor an elaborate dinner, complete with homemade marinade. That’s good for 15 points, Will. A slight wrench is thrown in the proceedings when the Doc finds the bloody axe that presumably murdered Harry Smith in Will’s woodpile. (It was planted there by one of the legions of people attempting to frame Will for various crimes.) He screams at the doctor to leave and cuts the axe into pieces with a different axe. (Really.)
He then throws all the evidence into the fire right before the police show up and go on a fruitless search for the axe. He trades some friendly cooking tips with the detective, but it’s sadly not enough to secure a first place Decency victory. That honor goes to Doreen’s boyfriend, who remodeled their house while she is in prison.