Gossip Girl herself informs us a lot has happened over the break, and she’s not kidding!
When Dan and Serena see each other the first day back from vacation, Serena confesses to breaking up with Aaron. She admits to her feelings for Dan, and he admits to his feelings for her. All is well in Dan and Serena land.
Well, not quite. Rufus has been acting mysterious with Dan, and Lily actually emailed Serena down in Argentina that she and Rufus would never be together. Dan and Serena wonder what the problem is between their parents, but making out in the hallway at school takes precedence at the moment.
Nelly Yuki is excited to see that Jenny has returned to school. The cronies feel a tad different. Jenny’s really annoyed at how Penelope and the others have decided to use Nelly as their on-call beast of burden. Eric tries to warn Jenny to stay out of it all but what’s the fun in that! Later in the day, Jenny finally confronts the meanies when Jenny and Eric witness Penelope making Nelly clean frozen Pinkberry yogurt off Penelope’s shoe. Nelly and her fragile dignity are inspired to seek freedom and to leave with Jenny and Eric.
Dan and Serena skip out of school early and head over to Dan’s and are caught by Rufus before they get too far along in their passionate reunion. Rufus plays the dad role, telling them they can’t be alone in the house without him there, and he’s downright cold toward Serena.
Rufus sees a lot of Lily in Serena and right now he’d rather use Lily’s face as the bullseye on a dartboard. Ever since she told him that they have a child together he has contacted every adoption agency in Massachusetts not even knowing the gender of the child, but they all tell him the same thing: that he needs to ask the birth mother. The agencies have no record of the adoption because it was done privately and not through an agency. Lily comes by the gallery and Rufus asks for more details. Lily says she gave up her right to search for him, finally disclosing that the baby was a boy.
Chuck’s uncle has shepherded him back to NYC. Blair gets a text from Jack saying that he and Chuck will be at Chuck’s place in a few minutes, so Blair meets them there. Chuck emerges from the limo totally out of it and Blair seems annoyed with the Uncle Jack, too. Interesting.
After school, Chuck shows up and hangs in the courtyard smoking hash. Blair rushes up and tries to get him to put it out but it’s too late. The principal catches him and yanks him into her office. Blair’s present on Chuck’s behalf but Uncle Jack shows up, too. Chuck acts surprised to see Jack, apparently oblivious that they just shared a 15-hour flight together. Blair pleads that Chuck’s crazy due to the loss of his father, and it’s working until the principal ask Chuck to promise never to do it again. So Chuck stands up and pulls out another joint. (He could have at least offered to share.)
The next day, Jenny and the Mean Girls hold court, with Blair as the judge, trying to determine who is right about the Nelly defection. Blair is so over this high school nonsense and has bigger fish to fry as in worrying about Chuck and worrying about the Colony Club selection committee interview scheduled later at her house. When she mentions the Colony Club, the cronies realize that Blair is leaving them behind and insecurity overwhelms them. Of course, everything they do is due to insecurities but that’s a whole other life lesson.
Since Blair won’t take sides, Jenny figures that she has the green light to continue the war and sits at the Mean Girls’ fave table at Pinkberry, infuriating the cronies. Penelope calls her dad to tell him she’s being bullied. Brilliant!
Blair talks to Serena about her concern for Chuck and then heads to the burlesque club that Chuck has re-bought. He tells her he’s throwing a party that night and had posted an open invite on Gossip Girl. Then Chuck pours salt in Blair’s open wound by dismissing Blair and making fun of her for saying she loves him. Blair texts Serena for emotional support and rushes home distraught but has to gather herself for the Colony Club visit.
Serena is at Dan’s, rifling through Rufus’ things to find the smoking gun of what the issue might be between their parents. Serena leaves to be with Blair, and Dan finds a Boston phone number, and when he calls it, discovers it’s an adoption agency. Dan confronts Rufus but Rufus won’t tell the truth, although he lets on that Chuck knows the secret.
By the time Serena gets to Blair’s, Blair has composed herself and has put up the façade that she doesn’t care about Chuck’s descent into hell. The Colony Club gang shows up as Serena is leaving. This gang wears argyle. The first order of business is to question why Blair would know a loose moral lass like Serena and then they move on to why Blair would know a new-money uncultured lad like Chuck. Blair exposes them for what they are, which is Mean Girls only middle-aged ones. She gives them the thanks-but-no-thanks smirk and heads back over to Chuck’s club.
Dan’s at the club getting Chuck to tell him the adoption secret. Serena’s at the club still not knowing the secret. Chuck finally is nice to Eric and tells him that he enjoyed having him as a little brother, and then grabs a bottle of booze and heads to the rooftop.
Jenny and Nelly show up to the party and are confronted by the Mean Girls. Nelly has given Jenny all the dirt on each girl, and Jenny threatens to send the info to Gossip Girl if Penelope doesn’t get her father to back off on the bullying charges and leave Nelly alone. The Meanies concede defeat and allow Jenny to attend the big collegiate party the following day. When Jenny says she didn’t do any of this to be the next Queen Bee, Nelly defects back to the Meanies. Turns out Nelly thought she’d be First Lieutenant of Jenny’s new Head Bitch in Charge Army. But there is no army.
On the rooftop, Chuck walks the ledge and swigs scotch. Should-know-better-at-his-age Uncle Jack shows up at the party to party not to chaperone and rushes up to the roof with Blair and yells at Chuck to get down, nearly causing Chuck to fall off the ledge. Chuck yells, “I’m Chuck Bass,” but this time he ends it with a very sad “who cares” and Blair steps up to say she cares.
Chuck comes down off the ledge and hugs her and apologizes. Jack throws him in the limo and plans to take him to Jack’s place to keep an eye on him, and with that, Blair tells Jack that he can’t tell Chuck about what happened on New Year’s. What? Ew.
Dan’s set to tell Serena the big secret, but Rufus calls and tells him not to because the news should come directly from Lily. Fine. Lily and Rufus are on their way out of town for a few days to search for info on their shared birth son, leaving Serena in the dark for a few more days.
Can Dan keep a secret so big from Serena, and without her getting upset?