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“Salem” recap (2.6): Ill Met by Moonlight

This week on Salem, Mary and Tituba are frantic in their attempts to revive George Sibley. The gift of all gifts from the Countess is George’s final act: death. Without George, Mary will be a widow in Salem, and I can’t think of anything worse-except for being “Isaac the Fornicator.” Mary slices her tongue, scatters her blood and the toad’s blood over George’s belly, kisses him passionately as if her life depends on it. And it does. But nothing works. He just keeps spilling out more water.

John Alden continues to follow Anne Hale, but his medicine bag is making him root out again, and it’s worse than ever. Is there some kind of expiration date on this protection amulet? This Puritan should’ve known he couldn’t keep it up for long. Meanwhile, the Countess and her son are discussing another kind of hunt. Sebastian seems desperately excited to keep his eyes on Mary at all costs. Part of that comes from some other sick desire in him to make his mother jealous. The Countess is mildly humored by all of this, but somehow Sebastian and his power is a huge asset to her. This is some Savage Grace shit. The Countess shoots her breath into a canister of bees, perhaps the same ones that killed Thomas J. They all drop dead and scatter into a circle, minus one outside the hive. This is the one the Countess will take with her, for some future spell.

The Select Men are being jolly and men-like at the local pub, tossing back a beer and stomping their feet. Cotton Mather and Magistrate Hawthorn are having an ongoing debate about the future of Anne Hale. Cotton doesn’t know that Anne put a love spell on him, and the Magistrate could care less what Cotton says-his father Increase said he was good for nothing, so Hawthorn will be the judge of what he is entitled to. That means marriage, and marriage means property, not love. But he’ll still “shatter her doors, uncork her cask, and drink his full.” FIGHT!

Cotton knocks Hawthorne to the ground. This punch is for love. This punch is for Anne, not being your property. This punch is for your shitty comments about Increase, if you idolize him, you can get another punch while we’re at it. The entire town is now out on their doorsteps watching the brawl exit the bar out into the streets. Mary and Tituba eye Anne on her front lawn looking glassy eyed and turned on. Tituba, being the sharpest point on a witch’s hat there is, knows Anne “spelled” Cotton. Mary hopes Cotton will kill Hawthorn. This would surely rid her of her troubles, since if he died, he wouldn’t come knocking on her door any longer to see the ‘man of the house’ is alive, or make an ass out of her in town meetings. Yes, kill him! Get him! But wait: “Cotton’s not a killer,” mutters Anne under her breath. His knife stabs the ground beside Hawthorn and in a dash, Mary has the men arrested and sent to sleep it off in a jail cell.

At daybreak, the sky is blue and the fur is purple. Our fearless, head witch Countess has arrived at the docks of Salem to greet the sick and feed the poor. Mary meets her with bells on, so long as the Countess keeps her killing a secret. Their deal is crystal clear. If Mary remains an ally to the Countess, no one will know about George and everything will be fine. Right? The witches do the walk and talk to the talk, strolling about town as Salem folk clap and cheer. But what will come of all this fantasy “utopia” envisioning. Is it possible these alpha witches have something to offer one another, even if their ability to work alongside each other remains something to be seen?

As Cotton wakes up in the cell, he’s blurry-eyed from booze and what felt like a too-real dream about having sex with Anne Hale in the woods. But no forest pines surround him, only brick wall and the smelly man in black pacing the gate, Mr. Hawthorn. The Countess spots them bickering and makes her way over to introduce herself. She publicly scathes Mr. Hawthorn and announces she’s bailed them out. But can we just take a moment to pause and appreciate the pathetic, defeated look on Hawthorn’s face when he announces he is “Magistrate” through prison bars?

Anne Hale is keeping up to date in her Book of Shadows when she hears something at her foot. It’s BROWN JENKINS. The mouse is alive. But, how? As she writes, she pens the epiphany that Brown Jenkins must be her familiar, like Mary described. But now she’s not sure if she has a soul, because she killed her familiar without knowing he was such.

Dollie and Isaac are still hiding out from Mercy and Dollie thinks she’s found a way for them to get of town. Somehow Isaac looks like he’s healing, and the idea of escaping into the night on a boat to an exotic land where there’s “no Mercy, no pox” is heaven under these bulky black cloaks. But as soon as they make it to the ship, the captain and his men cover their faces with potato sacks and bring them aboard. They have no idea what they’ve walked right into: the Countess.

It’s time for Sebastian to pay a visit to Mary, so he comes over to woo her with his power. After professing his love for her, and being so charming (“No man’s ever asked what you wanted”) with a bat of his eyes, he takes Mary’s pin out of her hair and stabs it through George’s head. George is “sleeping” in the bed. George is dead. He hit his head. And he ain’t getting up in the morning. Mary is like, “Excuse me, I could have disposed of his body myself you know.” Yeah! Who does this Sebastian dude think he is anyway? Mary’s afraid he will blackmail her now. He explains he won’t expose the corpse, so long as she obliges him. But that makes for four men now somehow after Mary. She’s got witch hunter John Alden hot on her tail because he’s out for the kill (and she doesn’t even know it), Mr. Wainwright has already found Mary’s tail, but surely wants more, and Mr. Hawthorn wants to either move into the Sibley estate or burn into the ground, but he’s forever up Mary’s ass. Girl’s got her bases covered.

By now it’s time the Countess pay a visit to Mercy Lewis. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most betrayed of all?” Mercy hisses as the Countess enters. She calls herself Mercy’s ‘Fairy God Mother’ here to grant two wishes. But why show mercy to the girl with none at all? The Countess promises it’s because she too wants to see Mary fall. She’ll provide that, and she’ll give Mercy back her beauty. How? Hello, Dollie! She’s on the ceiling preparing for her blood to be drained. Duh. The Countess clamps on a neck device that taps right into Dollie’s neck, and the blood pours out, down onto Mercy’s skin. Dollie pleads with Mercy, but Mercy see’s the blood is working. Her skin is no longer scarred and burned. She reaches up and pulls the tap harder. The two girls cry as one comes closer to death and the other sees signs of new life.

Cotton is knocking at Anne Hale’s door. It’s late, and there’s this naughty little curfew where men and women can’t be seen together past hours, but she’ll let this one slide. It’s Cotton. He tells Anne he loves her, but they dance around the words, and they dance around the creeping, crushing passionate adrenalin they’re feeling, like teens in love. And it’s really, really cute. She asks if he’s drunk. It’s possible. But that’s not the case with this man! He’s drunk in love, Beyonce. You heard it here first: Cotton Mather, 1692, hoping they wake up in the kitchen if he starts this thing on the table. They kiss, and they kiss some more. But then he stops it. It’s all too much, too fast. He kisses her forehead and leaves. But she doesn’t think anything of it as she sprawls out in ecstasy. Only, there’s one problem: Why is Brown Jenkins suddenly so dark and evil looking? Anne takes note, and her smile fades into a frown. I think she needs to consult with Mary ASAP before Brown Jenkins goes Pet Cemetery on her.

But before the night is through, John Alden will finally kill Anne Hale. He sneaks into her house. We can see his bloody knife. But suddenly Tituba is there, armed with something to choke him out. She grits through her teeth that he won’t be killing any witches tonight. Go, Tituba!

But, there’s one last deed to be done. Mary digs up Increase Mather’s grave because she needs to unearth all the secrets he took with him to his grave. Does this mean Increase is about to be brought back from the dead? What happened to Isaac? What will Mercy’s first entrance back into society be? Is it her time to muzzle a mule for everyone in the square to see?

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