Weird Loners ended its six episode first season with a queertacular finale that finally showcases Zara’s bisexuality. No word yet on a Season 2, so this may very well be the series’ swan song.
We open on the front stoop, where Zara is practicing her dart throwing skills by throwing candy into Eric’s mouth. Caryn comes out all dressed up for a date, and Stosh critiques her fashion choices. They invite her out to the darts tournament at the lesbian bar, Truck Stop (#RIP), but she leaves for her date.
And if I aim correctly, I’ll get the sucker right in her cleavage
We then head to Truck Stop, where Zara is partnered with her friend/ex April (Katie Aselton) for the tournament. April sucks at darts, and Zara’s aggressive competitiveness drives her to quit. Zara can’t continue without a partner, so she recruits an oblivious Eric as the new butch on the block named Viper. Eric, who doesn’t even realize he’s in a lesbian bar, is happy to be playing darts and flirting.
‘Sup girl
Stosh finds Caryn at the bar, fresh off of getting lumped (dumped while getting laid). April joins them at the bar and they all do a round of shots. When Stosh finds out that April is bi, he immediately starts hitting on her. There’s actually a funny bit of dialogue regarding that:
Stosh: …so one can assume your sexuality is of the bi variety?
April: No, I don’t like that word, I like who I like, and I think that sexuality is a very fluid thing and I just like to go with the flow.
Stosh: So you’re bi?
April: Yes.
The trio continue to do shots, while Erica/Viper kills at darts. They win the round and everyone cheers for Viper, including a nerdy queer who flirts with Eric. Meanwhile, Caryn and Stosh continue to chat up April. Stosh asks her out, and April agrees, but admits that she actually approached them to flirt with Caryn. In a drunken moment of competition, Cary asks April out and she says yes.
I wasn’t gay before, but Cara Delevigne made it look so fun!
The next morning, Caryn is all whipped up over her big gay date, and asks Zara to teach her how to be a lesbian. Caryn never had her experimental phase, and she’s ready to get her gay on. When Stosh comes in bragging about his date with April, Zara realizes that Caryn is more interested in competing with Stosh than exploring her Sapphic side.
Okay, but I’m gonna need some quinoa, five cats, and a DVD of “But I’m a Cheerleader”
Zara visits Eric, who is googling…aka gluing google eyes on his sock puppets. (I laughed so hard at this.) She tells Eric to focus on his dart game, and not get distracted by little things like pronouns or penises or anything that would give her game away.
It’s a good old fashioned sex-off!
Stosh and Cary proceed to have a dating montage with April, each trying to one up each other. They flirt, they shop, they make out. Eventually, Stosh books an overnight date with April, and brags about their impending sex. Caryn won’t go down without a fight (or will she?) and calls up April for some girl on girl action. Now it’s a sex competition.
Boom goes the dynamite
Caryn begs Zara for lesbian sex advice, but Zara calls her out for playing with April’s heart and not really caring about her. As she rattles off the ways in which Caryn’s ruse is insulting, Eric swans in with a rodeo shirt, leather wrist cuff, and a chain wallet, picked out for him by Zara. Pot meet kettle.
Sashay away
It’s the finals of the dart tournament, and everyone is cheering on Viper and Zara. Caryn is freaking out about sleeping with April when Stosh crashes their date. Our weirdos try to flirt with April, and start dancing all up on her. Their dance sandwich soon turns into a fight, and Stosh and Caryn start making out furiously. A dejected April leaves, only to wind up in the arms of Zara, who apologizes for being a dart nazi. They make out. Even Eric gets lucky with the nerdy girl he’s been flirting with. They’re both in for a rude awakening when they go back to his place.
Weird Partners
That’s it for season one of Weird Loners! What did you think of the season? Share your feels @chelseaprocrast.
