“The Returned” recap (1.9): Dynamite

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Previously on The Returned, Victor continued his descent from merely a creepy kid to a full-on sinister mind-murderer, and Nikki tried to her best to get Julie to see it. Helen learned more about the dam (and how to destroy it) with the help of a lot of tequila shots and her feminine wiles. Simon re-returned after Tommy shot him in cold blood in Rowan’s living room.

29 Years Ago

Helen is reading about the recent murders of Victor and his mother in the newspaper, but her husband, George, is like, “Babydoll, don’t read that—it makes you so emotional.” Helen is undeterred, however, and responds that not everyone can be as oblivious as George is. She thinks the murders are just the beginning of some dark times in their town. Also, she wants to know when she can get out of the psych ward, because the people here are legit crazy and she doesn’t want to end up like them.

George tells her that the damage from the fire wasn’t as bad as they originally thought, so he’ll talk to her lawyer and try to work something out. In the meantime, however, she has to stay and get the help she needs. Helen does not think she needs help, but George reminds her that she blew up city hall so maybe she does. Helen’s like, “You’re damn right. And I’d do it again.” George is, shockingly, not comforted by the turn their conversation has taken, and leaves.

While Helen is fake-swallowing some pills a nurse gave her, an alarm goes off. The dam has broken, and the staff is trying to herd everyone upstairs to the roof. Helen follows the crowd at first, but then breaks off from them and goes out the front door. She sees a rush of dark water cascading toward her in the distance, and, just a few seconds later, a wave comes crashing at her.

photo1“Ruh roh.”

Present Day

Helen is out for a late night joyride in the woods with someone named Greg. He saw her at the Dog Star and knows she can hold her liquor, so he pulls out some airplane bottles of vodka as he drives. Helen and Greg drink up just as they arrive at their destination: an active mine, complete with live explosives. Helen finally cracks a genuine smile, because blowing things up is her number one favorite hobby (just a hair above making religious allusions in her monologues).

Back in town, Julie studies the front page of the newspaper; the main headline is about Tony, his confession, and subsequent suicide. She brings the paper over to Victor and asks him if he hurt the man (Tony) last night for her. Victor pauses from his creepy coloring to smile at her. Julie! What in the actual fuck? I know I’ve said this before, but you have got to get rid of that little demon kid!

Simon, meanwhile, is up and around again as though he hasn’t died twice like a regular old Buffy Summers. He’s at the community center, processing some of his feels with Peter. I guess knowing that the love of your life wants you to stay dead is kind of a downer, huh? Simon asks Peter if he can crash for a few days, but Peter is not very sympathetic. He thinks Tommy will know to look for Simon at the community center, and also he’s hosting a bus crash memorial. It’d be in poor taste to flaunt a returned dead guy around some grieving parents, and we all saw how well they responded to Camille (answer: not well at all and two of them killed themselves).

Simon’s like, “Way harsh, Tai,” and starts to storm off, but Peter stops him mid-hissy fit. He gives Simon the keys to a donated van and some money. Simon doesn’t want to leave his daughter, but Peter tells him that he can start over and become anyone he wants to. Peter knows a little something about that concept, you see.

Across town, Rowan is on the phone trying to do some last minute wedding planning while Chloe watches cartoons downstairs. She’s chatting on the phone like, “Yeah, I know that Tony confessed to being a serial murderer and then killed himself mere hours ago. However, I did give him my deposit months ago and we have guests arriving any minute now, so…” She hangs up quickly once she realizes Chloe is gone, and looks outside just in time to see Simon putting her into the front seat of a van.

photo2The new version of Simon is coming off as a little pedophile-y right now.

In the van, Chloe wonders where they’re going and why her mom isn’t with them. Simon tells her that they’re just playing a game. Rowan, meanwhile, is frantic as she follows them in her car. She tries to make a phone call, but, flustered, drops the phone. When she reaches to pick it up, she almost hits another driver head on. She swerves out of the way, but crashes into a telephone pole. In a daze, she gets out of the car and tries to run after the van, but since she isn’t Robert Patrick in T2 she does not catch up to them.

Tommy arrives on the scene a little later, chest puffed out and ready to kill Simon as many times as he has to in order for him to stay dead. He tells Rowan not to worry, that they’ll find Chloe, and he orders the other cop around a bit. The cop, Mark, asks for a description of the suspect. Rowan and Tommy confirm that it was Simon, the guy that Tommy just recently shot and killed. Mark obviously thinks they’re both nuts, but says he’ll put the bulletins out.

In the van, Simon tries to convince Chloe that everything is fine and they are going on a big adventure. He suggests they go to the beach, and Chloe reluctantly agrees. It doesn’t seem like beach weather at all to me, but whatever Simon. Up ahead, Simon sees the red and blue flashes of a police car, so he turns off the road to avoid them. Probably he should’ve thought this plan out a little more thoroughly.

Meanwhile, Lena and Camille do some more sisterly bonding. Camille is whining because Hunter & friends are posting about her on Facebook. She’s all, “Ugh, my life is so hard! They think I’m, like, a witch or something—just because I came back from the dead and then kind of maybe made some people kill themselves. And they posted a picture of my open coffin! It’s basically like they posted nudes of me! This is all because Hunter wouldn’t let me give him a blow jay.” Lena is way too nice, and tries to comfort her sister.

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