Felicia Day returns to “Supernatural” with the key to saving Dean

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When we last saw Supernatural‘s lesbian character Charlie (played by Felicia Day), she had returned from Oz to chase down the dark side of her soul. After a pretty vicious fight with Dean (who has a ton of his own evil issues), Dark and Light Charlie fused back together. Pretty badly beaten but determined, Charlie offers to search out the Book of the Damned for the brothers, hoping it might help save Dean.

On last night’s episode, Charlie is trying to outrun some baddies who have a creepy compass that tells them where she’s hiding. Much to their surprise, Charlie gets the jump on them, stabbing one of the men through the throat with her trusty machete, and slicing the other one’s hand. They are after what Charlie has in her backpack, the remaining man explains in a southern drawl. Charlie calls him “Gambit” (ha!) and tells him enough with the sinister mansplaining. Gambit tells her that even if she kills him, more of his family members will come after her and they won’t stop until they get what they want. When Charlie is distracted by the man’s wrist tattoo, he gets the upper hand. As she runs from him, he shoots her in the side, but she manages to get away—for now.

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 9.59.56 AMI used to be a slayer, fuck boy

Meanwhile, Metatron (a fallen angel) and Castiel (the angel all that slash fiction is about) are tooling around in Castiel’s car. Metatron has been rendered mortal, and proved useless in removing the Mark of Cain from Dean. However, he does have some info on how to return some of Castiel’s angelic grace, so that’s what they are trying to do. Castiel puts in a call to Sam, to get an update on the Mark of Cain research and also to ask if he can kill Metatron, whose musings about all his new human feelings is really starting to piss Castiel off.

At the Winchester’s, Dean reveals that the Mark is a curse, which he found out from Rowena (a 300-year-old witch, who—surprise—tried to kill Dean). They get a call from Charlie, who is injured. Being the badass that she is, she sewed her damn wound closed with dental floss. She tells them about the “southern-fried d-bags” who have been hounding her since she got the Book of the Damned. She can’t read the book as it’s in a completely bizarro language, but she did find information that confirms the book can undo curses. The brothers find her a cabin to hide out in for a bit until they can get to her.

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 10.17.33 AMFlossing saves lives

Sam and Dean grab every language decoder they have and set out to find Charlie. Dean is full of energy and for the first time since he got the Mark, he actually feels a sense of hope. He might even take a long-ass vacation after all is said and done.

At a diner, Metatron is going gaga for a plate of waffles. See, angels don’t eat food for pleasure, but humans do. He shovels the stack of fluffy goodness in his mouth while Castiel grimaces at him. Metatron tries to bond with him about the human delights, but Castiel is too angry about what Metatron did to his boyfriend friend Dean. Metatron is stalling on reuniting Castiel with his grace. He gets the poo cramps (maybe angels are lactose intolerant) and Castiel escorts him to the men’s room. As they enter, a trucker watches them and exposes a big ol’ shiny knife in his pocket.

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 10.30.50 AMB-fast porn.

Sam and Dean arrive at the cabin, and Charlie is exhausted but okay. She has learned that the Book of the Damned was written by a nun about seven hundred years prior who was plagued with dark visions. Oh, and the book is made of the nun’s own skin and blood, so gross. Dean gets all spooky when he flips through the book, so he suggests that they keep it away from him.

Metatron and Castiel leave the diner and run into the trucker who knows their names. The guy is a cupid who is hella pissed that the men/angels (mangles?) royally screwed up heaven. Just as the cupid is about to kill Castiel with his special angel knife, Metatron stabs him in the back, saving Castiel.

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 10.45.58 AMWell, there goes Valentine’s Day

At the cabin, Charlie shows Dean a drawing of Gambit’s tattoo so he can research the culty family. Sam is busy trying to translate the Book of the Damned which is in a Sumerian dialect. There ain’t no Rosetta Stone app for that. Charlie determines that the book is in code, which only makes their job about a thousand times harder. However, Charlie loves a nerdy challenge but Sam is trying to hide his hopeless feeling about the whole thing. He encloses the book in a lead lined box.

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 10.52.50 AMNext episode, can I get a girlfriend or something? No offense but this is a supernatural sausage fest.

 The lead box was a stellar idea because now Gambit and his henchman can’t track the book with their little compass.

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