“The Returned” recap (1.6): Hearing Voices

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Previously on The Returned, we found out that Tony killed his brother Adam, the town serial killer/cannibal. Also, Victor (real name Henry) knows that Peter (real name Elton from Clueless) killed him and his mom, and he’s not happy about it. Lena busted out of the hospital and confronted Camille about being, like, totally heinous and also dead, before running off into the woods, passing out, and being found by Adam. Most importantly, Nikki made out with an attractive and naked woman, but was thwarted by cliterference in the form of a potential lead about Victor.

One Year Ago

Lucy jumps out of the cab of a logging truck and right into the parking lot of the Dog Star. She sees a “help wanted” sign, and it’s a match made in heaven. She starts waitressing and, soon after, banging Jack. Mid-sexing, she starts telling Jack that Camille, his daughter, is talking to her. Her death was quick, Lucy says, but Jack responds pretty much the exact way you’d imagine a man would respond when you bring up his dead daughter randomly mid-coitus.

photo1 “What in the actual fuck?”

That’s the end of sexy times, and Jack leaves.

Present Day

Lucy is flat-lining in the hospital. The team of doctors try to revive her, but are unable to and call the time of death. Just a few moments later, she sits straight up, gasping for breath—very much alive. Lucy is obviously confused; she doesn’t remember being attacked. The doctor explains that she lost a lot a blood, slipped into a coma, and went into cardiac arrest an hour ago. Lucy’s like, “Uh, Doc? I don’t feel very stabbed.” So the doctor goes to examine her wounds and:

photo2Incroyable!

Back at the twins’ house, Jack is on the phone with the police, but they don’t seem to care that a very injured patient left the hospital and is now missing. Camille’s at the table, chomping down on some food, not a fuck left to give about her sister, like, “Well, at least Lena’s not dead. Not like I was. Am I right guys?”

Camille then proceeds to tell her parents that the twins can feel each other, like that time Lena broke her ankle, or the time Lena fucked a boy while staying home “sick” from school. Camille! Shut up, you are the actual worst! Claire is finally starting to realize that Camille is maybe a demon, and she finally acknowledges that Lena is also their daughter. Thank goodness. #TeamLena all the way.

Speaking of Lena, she wakes up in Adam’s cabin, luckily unstabbed for the time being. He explains that he found her and couldn’t leave her there, but didn’t want to take her to the hospital since it looked like she was running away from there. She asks him for pain killers or whiskey, but Adam says he has something even better. Oh god, it’s totally going to be something weird, isn’t it?

Back at the hospital, Sheriff Tommy is questioning Lucy about what she remembers of her attack. Not much, is the answer. Tommy produces a picture of Simon, and asks if Lucy knows him. Lucy says she met him once, but not in a stabby kind of way. Tommy keep pushing it, all, “But he could have stabbed you, right? I mean, like, he probably did? In fact, I should arrest him just in case?” Lucy’s like, um sorry, no. She also hears weird whispery noises in her head. Outside the hospital room, the doctor tells Tommy that in his professional, medical opinion, “This shit is weird, bro.”

Now that Claire has decided to, you know, be a good parent, she’s super committed to finding her daughter. Step one: visit friends who might have information about Lena’s disappearance. She shows up at Lena’s friend’s apartment, and the girl invites her in even though she’s really, um, tired.

photo3Ah yes, the old hide-the-bong-behind-the-cereal-box move. Classic.

Claire asks the friend if anything was weird the last time she saw Lena, and the friend is like, “Besides the fact that she seemed totally out of her mind and she was spouting nonsense? Nope.” Claire wonders if she has a new boyfriend, perhaps? The friend, bless her little stoned heart, answers more truthfully than you should ever answer a parent, all, “I mean, I’m not saying Lena’s the town bicycle, but—well, you get the picture. She wasn’t with anyone last night, though!”

Lena may not have been with anyone last night, but she is currently still with Mr. Murderer, Adam. He is using a mortar and pestle to grind up who even knows what, probably some peyote to take Lena on a spirit murder quest, if I had to guess. He tells her it’s “nettles, mostly,” and he puts it on Lena’s zombie back wound. They chat about their fucked up relationships with their siblings, and how they should both be dead, actually. Much bonding, very friendship.

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