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“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (11.19): That’s Ridickulous

Meredith’s voiceover talks to us about how love is like any other addiction. She’s right. Nothing beats the high of smootching on and getting naked with the person who makes your heart go thump-a-thump. God bless MerDer too, because after ten years together, they are still crazy in love and lust. They have been on a non-stop boneathon since Derek came back. He wants to go another round but Meredith reminds him that they have children and jobs and stuff. Later when they get up, Derek can’t find his White House phone as he rushes out the door to resign his post. They run into an embarrassed Amelia who is just coming home after a night with Owen, with Owen following closely behind. Derek is really nice about the whole thing and even invites Owen in for breakfast. Meredith is a little peeved that Derek didn’t tell her about the budding romance, but she gets over it quickly. Derek heads out to DC and tells her he will be back before she knows it.

Speaking of love, Maggie is dealing with the exact opposite. Her date with the cute radiologist Ethan went fine, but he never called her and now he’s ignoring her at the hospital. She complains to Alex, wondering what is wrong with her that a guy would go to such lengths to avoid her. Callie pipes in about her date with the cop, saying it was kind of a bust. So what that the guy is a hero, so is she, damnit. Plus, he’s kind of boring and Calliope Torres doesn’t do boring. Ok, was anyone else really surprised by this development? I was sure this dude was going to stick around for a while, and I’m not entirely unconvinced that he won’t. What are your thoughts about it? Tell me in the comments. Anyway, Meredith gently confronts Amelia about sleeping with Owen, telling her that she promised Cristina that she’s look out for him. She warns Amelia to be gentle with his tender, Labrador heart. Really Mer? Last time I looked, Owen was a grown ass man who could handle himself. Amelia excuses herself and Steph greets her, as she is on Team Neuro that day. However, Amelia is feeling moody and tells her to get lost.

Amelia and Callie team up on a young golfing phenom named Marissa. She’s been pushing through her pain for quite some time, but now her lower back is all out of whack and she needs surgery. Amelia tells the driven young athlete that she and Callie will run some tests and determine the best treatment.

Steph complains to Jo about being tossed off of Amelia’s service, but before too long they are headlong into a case. A woman brings a bleeding man in to the ER. You see, the man’s wife took his best chef’s knife and cut off his penis. His mistress carries the thing in a little doggie bag. The man is a super famous chef, who was sleeping with his sous chef when his wife caught wind. April jumps in to help and suggests calling her mother-in-law Catherine, because she’s the best when it comes to, well, peens. Richard is hesitant to have Catherine so close so her keeps suggesting their in house urologist. In order to save the organ, they need to work fast, and Steph literally sprints through the hospital to get the penis to Jackson. That must have been awkward for all parties. Jackson stays very calm, as Steph nervously and accidentally goes penis pun crazy.

Maggie, who is still hung up on Ethan’s rejection, goes off on a tangent to Alex about how her vagina is like dust in the wind. A tumbleweed on a sexless, prairie plain. It’s kind of a great little monologue.

Steph joins Richard to gather some supplies and she asks how he went about choosing a specialty. For Richard, general surgery choose him. He gives a speech about holding intestines, which does the opposite of inspiring the young resident.

Callie and Amelia look over Marissa’s charts and they both have very different suggestions about how to approach the surgery. Callie wants a more conservative approach that will be more stable, but not allow for the flexibility Marissa needs to really swing her club. Amelia’s approach is more risky, but she wants to give her patient the chance at a professional career in the sport. Owen pops in and gives his input. He sides with Amelia, probably because he’s seen her boobs.

Ignoring Richard’s advice, April brings Catherine Avery in, who arrives in a helicopter. The two hug warmly, and it’s so wonderful to see how far Catherine and April have come. A warm, loving bond has emerged between them, and it’s just want April needs as she is still healing. Catherine tells April, “I want to see that penis,” and of course, the dude it belongs to. When Catherine inspects the penis, she’s impressed by how well Steph managed to preserve it. The chef of course wants to know if his dick will ever work again, but Catherine has it covered. Richard walks in and is not too happy to see his former love.

Amelia meets with Marissa and all the kid wants is to get back on the green, ASAP. Amelia tells her they will do everything they can to make that happen. Before her penile re-attachment surgery, Catherine and Richard have an awkward run in where Richard ties her surgical cap, while mentioning that both he and the chef have “regrettable choices in women.” Richard, you know I love you, but no one is buying what you are selling.

Maggie decides to confront Ethan about their date, especially when Ethan is extra cold to her. She lets him have it about how it was rude and she’s feeling hurt. He counters with the fact that she never stopped talking, ordered for him, and paid. “You know nothing about me,” he tells her flatly. She never asked a single question about him and that was a major turn off. Maggie receives the message loud and clear. Ugh, it’s never nice to hear that you are being an ass, but sometimes, it’s important.

In the OR, Amelia is freaking out because she can’t get Marissa’s back screws tight enough to hold the kid’s spine together. She sends Ben to find Callie, do some groveling on her behalf, and get her in there right away.

Everyone seems to be watching the penis surgery, and inserting their own thoughts on the matter of chopping off their loved one’s wieners. Arizona, who for this season, has been shooting sunshine out her eyeballs, can’t understand how anyone could get that mad at their significant other. Bailey gets it, remembering when she caught her ex emailing another woman, and fantasized about sticking a butter knife in his jugular. Or as she says, “his fat, email cheating neck.” Callie chuckles and says “no comment” which we are all grateful for, especially Arizona. She only ever wanted to maim Callie once, and they processed that a long time ago. Also, Arizona doesn’t get the big deal about losing your penis, like “Dicks, who needs em?” The other women look at her like she’s crazy. Oh Arizona.

Ben interrupts before conversation goes any further, and asks Callie to scrub in and save the surgery. By the time she does, Marissa’s spinal cord has been compromised, and they have to flip her over and go through the abdomen. However, Callie and Amelia continue to argue about the best course of action, and Ben tells them to stop the shit and figure it out. They talk it out, and both agree that Ben will have PIT duty as punishment for his completely correct yelling at the attendings.

In Catherine’s OR, April is feeling nervous about springing her MIL on Richard, but Catherine reminds her that she’s pretty much the best there is, so not to feel bad for a hot second. Catherine brings Steph into the surgery and suggests that her good work might make her a perfect fit for urology. After the surgery, Catherine and Richard run into each other again, and Catherine drops some burns about how men keep all their self esteem in their pants.

After their surgery, Amelia and Callie go to Marissa’s mother to give the the news. Marissa will need physical therapy, but she will walk and maybe run one day. However, the mother is heartbroken for her daughter’s lost future in golf. “My daughter was excellent and you were supposed to be too.” She then calls them “crappy doctors” before walking away. Amelia is just sick about the whole thing, even when Callie tries to comfort her and assure her colleague that they did the best they could.

When Owen tracks Amelia down, she lays into him saying that their affection for each other is affecting their judgement. She thinks Owen only sided with her because he’s seen her naked (basically) and if they weren’t sleeping together, he wouldn’t have been there in the first place. Sex and love changes our brains, and now Amelia’s brain is full of Owen and she doesn’t like the lack of control. She walks away after sort of breaking up with him.

While in surgery together, Maggie tells Alex what Ethan said. She’s humiliated, but Alex thinks that he’s just intimidated by the magic that is Maggie Pierce. He tells her how amazing she is, and that her lisp is sexy. Alex is being nicer to Maggie than I think he’s ever been in his life. WHAT IS GOING ON?!!

The chef and his re-attached penis make it out of surgery just fine. When Catherine and Steph are checking up on him, his wife, the one that separated his penis from his person, shows up. Catherine calls for security, but the chef wants to make up with her. He apparently broke their agreement that he could only sleep with staff from the front of the house. They start making out and Catherine tells Steph that sometimes “it takes crazy to love crazy.” When the mistress sees, she starts sobbing and runs away.

Richard decides to give April a piece of his mind about bringing Catherine in, but April is not taking any guff. She goes right back at him, strong and assured. She asked Catherine to come because she’s the best, and Richard needs to get over his personal shit. Plus, she’s family and April will do what she wants. Richard can’t argue with that and backs down quickly.

Even if Alex’s kind words made her feel better, Maggie feels she owes Ethan an apology for the date. She sometimes brings the thunder when it’s not appropriate, or when she’s nervous, and some people can’t handle the thunder. She genuinely likes him and she feels bad. He warms up and suggests that on their second date, he’ll bring the thunder instead.

Amelia comes home and finds Meredith waiting. Amelia gets that she wants to help her person by looking out for Owen, but Amelia doesn’t think it’s any of Meredith’s business. “You don’t know me, not really,” she tells her sister-in-law. Amelia lost someone she loved, and she doesn’t think Meredith can understand what that feels like. I personally think Amelia is being a bit self centered about this. Meredith has lost plenty. PLENTY. Pain doesn’t make us more evolved, but it can make us stronger.

As Jo and Steph commiserate about their day, the chef’s mistress runs past them. Steph thinks that perhaps she’s found a specialty! They then hear a scream and the chef’s mistress has now cut off his dick too! Again! Steph chases after her, and corners the woman in the bathroom as she threatens to flush it. The sous chef mistress actually thought she meant something to the chef, and Steph talks her off a ledge, slipping on a glove and taking the penis back.

Catherine is once again impressed with Steph’s skills and moxie and asks her is she wants to take a urology fellowship with her in Boston. Catherine later see’s Richard who finally lets down his walls and asks her to come back to him. Any pain they may cause each other is worth it to him. She must agree because they seal it with a kiss.

Callie checks up on Marissa, who is pissed and sad about losing her ability to golf. The kid loved being excellent, but she loved the game more and she doesn’t think she’ll ever love anything like that again. Callie sits down and tells the heartbroken young woman that there has to be “more than one thing to love” in this big ol’ world out there. Callie isn’t giving up hope for that, and neither should Marissa. I love that Callie isn’t giving up on love. So many times, she’s felt disappointment and sadness weight so heavily on her heart. Knowing that she knows love in many forms is out there, just waiting for her, makes me smile.

Ben and Jo are hella impressed and jealous of Steph’s adventures that day. Steph learned something very important that day, through all the chaos. She does not want to work with penises. As Jo and Alex get ready to leave, Alex spies Maggie and Ethan and shoots some unintentional heart-eyes her way, right in front of his girlfriend. I wasn’t expecting Alex to crush out on Maggie, not that I can blame him.

Owen confronts Amelia, and asks what her deal is. He wants her and doesn’t understand why she’s backing away from him. Their heart to heart gets interrupted by a phone call for Dr. Shepherd. The White House is actually looking for the other Dr. Shepherd, so she puts Meredith on the phone. Derek didn’t show up at DC meeting, and Meredith has no idea where he is. I am feeling a bit of deja vu. Didn’t we just do this like two episodes ago?

Here are our favorite #GreysGays tweets from last night’s episode.

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