Bethenny Frankel tells Ellen she wants to be a lesbian, Ellen says it’s not a decision

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Bethenny Frankel is on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today to talk about her new book, I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To, and after a discussion on how “size matters” when it comes to men’s apartments (mhm), the Real Housewife turned Skinny Girl guru says she wishes she could be a lesbian. Ellen gives her some real talk in return.

TRANSCRIPT: 

Bethenny: Women are much crazier than men would even imagine and men are much stupid than women can possibly imagine. They’re much simpler creatures than us.

Ellen: Wow.

Bethenny: Yes. I don’t think that they’re not intellectual and that they’re not intelligent. But they really care about: sleep, the remote, the dog, poker, drinking and you know, you not being on their jock when you walk in the door at night.

Ellen: Here’s one: “It’s so large.”

Bethenny: Yes. This is when you go to a man’s apartment, obviously. 

Ellen : Oh I see.

Bethenny: Yeah. Men like, men want you to think of their apartment as very large. 

Ellen: “When you look at their apartment and go- It’s so large!” 

Bethenny: Yes. Do you understand? 

Ellen: I see I see.  

Bethenny: Large apartments are very important to women. Size does matter.

Ellen: Yes. I understand. Thank you, thank you so much for reinforcing I’ve made the right choice in life. 

Bethenny: Oh Ellen! If it could be that easy. That was my dream! Recently I was like: I wanna, I want to be a lesbian now.

Ellen: Yeah, no you can’t just make that decision.

Bethenny: I know but I want to!

Ellen: It doesn’t work that way. You really have to be one. Don’t try to join our club! No.

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