Liza is frantic and excited over her hot date with Josh tomorrow night. Sure, they’ve made out and stuff, but now it’s onto sex-which should be a walk in the park for this silk blue robed woman posing as a twentysomething, but that’s just not so. This is Liza-a little neurotic, yet endearing, so she needs a second set of eyes. She drops robe to ask for Maggie’s opinion. Maggie notices Liza’s “landing strip” and gives her kudos for it (but we sort of wonder if she’s just saying that) so Liza lays it on even thicker. “Don’t look at me with best friend eyes!” she yells. Liza says she needs an artist’s eyes on her, because, shit, Josh is a tattoo artist! He looks at bodies all day! Of course the bodies she’s imagining are young and supple, though we all know people of all shapes and sizes walk into a tattoo parlor. So, why is she fussing so hard? She tells Maggie it’s because she hasn’t had sex in two years.
If it’s any consolation, Liza, I was watching a Diane Keaton movie last night and she hadn’t had sex in four years, and she’s twice your age. If the math is accurate (which it’s not) then things could be worse. And anyway, they’re SO NOT. Reality check: You’re about to go to Sexy Town with the babely boy who makes a white T-shirt look crisper than lettuce. Maggie offers her one of her Xanax; it’ll help calm her down. Liza is sure that taking someone else’s medication is against the law. “Aww, you’re so cute,” coos Maggie, “Maybe take half.” When in doubt, “take half” is the go-to approach for pills. (At least that’s what my mom taught me.)
Back at work, Diana Trout is flashing a new designer purse she got in the mail-she hesitantly asks Liza to take some impromptu photos of her donning it for her online dating profile. Kelsey has more details about the Swedish author she’s trying to nab, but when she uses “IRL” in a sentence, it throws Liza into a tizzy. “What’s IRL?” she asks. Kelsey wonders if she’s been living under a rock, which is my usual response when a friend says they still haven’t seen Now & Then.
In the car to New Jersey where Liza is still wrapping up her life in her former house with her former husband, Maggie reads aloud the texts that continue to come in from Josh to Liza. He wants to see her tonight! His manliness can’t wait. Liza doesn’t know what to say back. She’s still tossing up the truth like it’s impossible to come clean-what would be say, knowing she’s 15 years older than she said she was? Also, a baby popped out of her “Frida,” she says. Maggie’s humored by this vag name, and when Liza asks what she calls it, Maggie responds frankly like it’s a major duh, “The entertainment center!”
I like where you’re going with this, Mags. Does the entertainment center come with a turntable to spin you ’round? (Jokes, people, jokes…) In Jersey now, they arrive at the house where Liza’s ex David is clearing house with a moving truck. They get into a small spat about it and David walks off in a humph like, “One day you’ll realize I wasn’t so bad and I just made a little mistake.” Which is probably what many of my exes are thinking, too. Liza’s about to give the guy a chip off the old block when the movers ask, who’s paying? Not I, said the wise woman.
Now that Liza’s filled with confidence and closure, she’s back at work helping Diana banter back and forth with a new suitor on her dating site. Liza’s rhyming Romeo and Juliet and the trick seems to work. The guy wants to meet Diana IRL, but Diana doesn’t know what that means. Lucky for her, Liza just learned what that means earlier today. More age shaming takes place, in which Diana talks down to Liza for not understanding what it’s like to live in the “tundra” of 40+ dating and finding a solid man. Should Liza feel like a hypocrite for landing a young guy who thinks she’s younger, despite having the same street cred Diana has when it comes to life experience? And, so what? Age is as fluid as the river that sexuality and gender run down-who says you have to be 40 and frigid, or 26 and full of life-that anything grey and in between, or blinding white and off the map would be out of character? Dressing or acting your age is as ridiculous as telling someone to dress or act like a boy or girl. We all know those limitations are beyond archaic and Younger is showing us that age is another faulty definer we can cross of the list.
After Kelsey gets out of the reading she just sat in, in which her Swedish author spoke in Swedish the entire time, she confronts the author with a perfect pitch. She wants to sign him. He’s totally taken by Kelsey and decides they should get out of there and go get a drink. Speaking of drinks, Diana is awaiting her mystery date at a ritzy bar when a younger boy walks up to ogle over her designer purse. She eyes him up and down, realizing he’s the mystery man from the website. He explains she’d never meet someone like him-that he runs a fierce YouTube channel about all his favorite purses and that she’s the kind of power woman he idolizes. He says he’s bullied in school and called a “Bag Hag.” Taken by this, Diana allows him to sit down and orders him a non-alcoholic bev. She takes his picture a dozen times and he’s in total heaven. This moment is especially sweet.
Liza may not feel at her sexiest, but she’s definitely at her most comfortable, and Josh sees that as sexy, calling her “honest.” Of course, we all know she’s far from it. But she rolls with it because she about to get laid and their bar date is going well. How can she back out now? Two girls with a tattoo itch walk up to Josh to say hi, flashing their thighs and bellies for tattoo-placement ideas. Liza takes this as a cue to go, but Josh immediately tells her not to. “I want to be here with you,” he begins. And then he says he’s going to take her home, whispering “your hot, little…” into her ear as the girls standing nearby just continue to look on in amazement. Yes, girls. We can so wear our fuzzy, oversized sweaters to the bar and still be sexy. Back at Josh’s, she takes a WHOLE Xanax instead of half to “relax.” Oh, boy…
Do you ever catch yourself smiling when you’re watching TV? That just happened. Not when Kelsey and the Swede realize they’re eye flirting and their significant others are trying to get a hold of them, but back at Josh’s when we see just how far that pill has gone-Liza’s passing out on Josh! “Tempted by the Fruit of Another” by Squeeze is spinning on the record player. Why do records make every single scene with new couples so unbelievably cute? Okay, fine. I won’t jump the gun on Liza and Josh. I won’t make a shipper name up for them. I’ll just let Maggie the lesbian best friend do all the talking.
In fact, let Maggie go ahead and talk straight to Frida (Liza’s vag). She tells it to go out there and live out its sexual, explorative, free life-basically, go for it with Josh! Liza and Maggie are interrupted by the appraiser who offers them a price on Liza’s sentimental furniture, but Maggie knows they can make the big bucks back in Brooklyn at the flea market so off they go. Josh is still sending Liza texts-he doesn’t care that she passed out. (Shoulda taken half, Liza!) Maggie says go, so Liza races to Josh’s to tell him the truth about her age. Along the way, she’s thinking about all the things she’ll say. “Cameron Diaz is 40, she’s not gross, right?” But once there, she sees Josh smirking with his apartment door wide open, and he grabs her and kisses her neck and stomach. She had something to tell him? Nah, it can wait.
Let me know what you thought of last night’s episode! Tweet me IRL @the_hoff and use #MaggieKnowsBest and #YoungerTV!
