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“The Good Wife” recap (6.18): The Loser Edit

This week on The Good Wife, Alicia is getting her own TV news profile, complete with narrated slide show stretching all the way back to that awful plaid suit from her stand by her man days (a dark fashion time). Throwback to Alicia’s interview with the journalist creating the profile; Eli pulls her away with a fake phone call to tell her her e-mails might still be leaked if the firm doesn’t apologize to the hackers about their involvement with the suit against last week’s file sharing site. And sure enough, now back in her newsroom the journalist, Petra Mortiz, gets five years of Alicia’s e-mails from an anonymous source and gets Diane to confirm that the firm was hacked.

At the firm Kalinda greets Mr. Wiley, leashed kids in tow. She ends up in the elevator, but rethinks her trip and goes to Diane, who reveals Mr. Wiley is investigating the possible mishandling of Cary’s case, including the e-mail Kalinda messed with. A quick check with Finn on a “hypothetical lawyer” who presented falsified evidence they didn’t know was false (yeah, Finn, I was totally just watching an old Ally McBeal and it got me thinking…) confirms that Diane could go to jail for presenting Kalinda’s false evidence.

But Diane knows nothing of her fate when she goes to visit R.D., her old hunting buddy, and his conservative colleagues. He asks for a liberal take on gay marriage, wondering if they should fund a lawsuit on behalf of a baker in California who refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding (there’s a completely bizarre blink and you miss it reenactment scene in case viewers wonder what it would look like for two men to go to a bakery together).

Diane tries to keep things civil and factual, pointing out in California LGBT people are protected from discrimination, but as the conservative cohort keeps calling on religious freedom, it’s obvious Diane’s trying hard not to run out of the room yelling “bigots” over her shoulder. When they start throwing out more hypotheticals she throws them a bone, saying they made a “good point” about a baker’s right to refuse a gay couple a wedding cake but offer them other sweets, and R.D. balks, saying he wants her to fight him, to use her different viewpoint to convince him it’s a bad case to take on (also, he has a gay nephew, the perfect accessory for bigots who are totally just misunderstood).

Back in the newsroom, editing Alicia’s piece takes a turn as the leaked e-mails are edited in (you can tell things are getting rough because the editor throws in aptly labeled “negative music”) including an e-mail from people at the firm accusing Alicia of sleeping her way to the top.

And then it’s time for a follow up interview with Alicia, using the info from the e-mails to start asking questions about the exact nature of her relationship with Will. When Alicia and Eli realize Petra has the e-mails, he calls off the interview.

Back in meeting of the grown-up homophobic bullies from Glee, more hypotheticals mean more reenactments (this is what to gay people would look like in New Mexico! This is what they’d look like in a copy shop!). They seem to stump Diane when they ask if a baker can refuse to write “all gays are going to hell,” on a cake for a Christian customer. Because I lack a legal education I say yes, because cakes are delicious and should not be corrupted by hate speech, but it gives Diane pause.

In the firm the investigation into Cary’s case gets dicey when Wiley proves the officer couldn’t have deleted the e-mail. He guesses it was the ADA who he was having an affair with, and when he asks Cary and Kalinda if they have any ideas Cary is blissfully blank while Kalinda is guiltily evasive.

Back in the edit room Petra and her editor mess with Photoshop as they sprinkle in quotes from the sexy e-mails between Alicia and Will. Eli shows up and challenges her boss on the ethics of releasing a story with hacked e-mails and gets him to agree to hold it for a bit, leaving the journalist wondering if TMZ or Gawker would be interested (100% yes).

In the den of conservatives Diane gets them to give up the baker’s case by agreeing a possible winnable case is that of a hypothetical homophobic wedding planner.

Wiley’s kids are running wild at the law firm as Wiley interviews Finn, while Kalinda gives him meaningful looks that scream “That hypothetical from earlier was not fodder for my upcoming crime novel!” He flat out asks him if he knows who might have faked the metadata, but Finn denies any knowledge.

Petra’s boss warns Josh they’ll be running the piece, and listening to NPR on the way home Diane learns the case of the homophobic wedding planner wasn’t hypothetical at all, but the real case R.D. wanted to take up. Shocking news should always be delivered in soothing NPR tones.

Finn asks Kalinda for a dollar, not because he really needs a Kit Kat but because he’s solved the mystery of who faked the metadata and he knows she needs a lawyer, and more importantly, attorney-client privilege. He swears her to secrecy, but admits he has no idea how he could get her out of this.

Diane’s totally ticked R.D. tricked her into presenting a more legally viable option for homophobia, but takes up his offer to go after the wedding planner in a mock trail he’s holding.

Eli believes the best offense against the less than flattering Alicia story is to stall its release for at least a day. First, he offers Petra the possibility of a interview with the governor (which he never plans to deliver), and he suggests they feed the e-mails to a reporter who likes her suggesting they were just flirty missives, but Alicia refuses to lie about what she and Will had.

At the mock trial Diane gets the wedding planner on the ropes, pointing out that while Jesus never condemned homosexuality, he did condemn divorce, and she had willingly planned wedding with people who had ended their previous marriages.

On Marissa’s suggestion, Peter goes over to Alicia’s for some wine and to convince her to say the e-mails to Will were just flirty fantasies, not proof of an affair. Just as Alicia’s getting a little nostalgic about where they’ve been and how friendly they can be now, Peter ruins the whole thing by getting creepy sex eyes. Alicia shuts that down immediately (as she should). Peter insists that he still loves her, but Alicia just wants to be wine buddies (so next week I expect them to be watching Under the Tuscan Sun together).

At the mock trail the stand in for the gay defendant seems a little shaky on staying in character for an actor, and an enraged R.D. reveals why as he pulls Diane away-she cast his beloved gay nephew. It’s unclear if he’s angry because he doesn’t want his gay nephew to know he’s using his considerable wealth and influence to make sure he’ll never have equal rights or because the presence of his nephew reminds him with his money and influence his bigotry can seriously impact someone he loves. Either way, he’s pissed.

Alicia’s team convinced her to pretend the steamy seasons-long affair with Will was nothing more than a few sexy e-mails, and she gives an interview confirming that to a friendly, and not terribly bright, reporter (played by Mo Rocca).

At the firm Kalinda corners Howell in the elevator after his interview with Wiley and asks what they discussed. He reveals he lied for her about the metadata, saying he was fixing speeding tickets for her instead of criminal evidence. To be fair to the guy, wouldn’t we all try to help out Kalinda?

The mock trail continues and R.D.s nephew starts speaking directly to his uncle from the stand, telling him he took the part because he’s in love, and adding he too believes in God.

Peter does sit down with Petra, singing Alicia’s praises for running, and winning with, a clean campaign. He then, in his slick Peter way, reveals the e-mails are coming out in very Alicia -friendly interviews before Petra’s piece will air, leaving her frustrated and flustered.

And, in the most shocking yet understated moment of the night, while his kids dressed in novelty mittens look on, Wiley tells Kalinda he knows she faked the metadata, that she has 100% been caught. With only a few episodes left this season now the only question which remains is will the writers give her a dignified send up, riding off into the sunset to an even cooler profession, or lock her up, with every once and a while Cary making an off-hand comment that he’s off to visit Kalinda in lock up?

The gay couple wins the mock trail (hooray for at least hypothetical justice?) and R.D. goes after the victorious Diane. She gets him to admit he’ll still fund the wedding planner’s case IRL, and when prodded for his reason he explains that Obama, both Clintons, and a host of Democrat leaders were against gay marriage until recently, and he believes they only switched for political reasons. While I guess it would be naive to believe their change of heart was completely without political implications, I’d like to think that they also woke up one day and realized how completely bigoted they were being to believe gay people don’t have the right to marry someone they love. He goes on to explain he likes people who stick to their beliefs, which would be a nice sentiment if their beliefs weren’t so prejudiced.

And just when you thought there wasn’t time for anymore twists, Alicia and company are just kicking back for what they’re sure is the watered down version of Petra’s report, only to see their campaign is being accused of voter fraud. Cue identical open-mouthed looks of horror.

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