New “Walking Dead” spinoff to include Dana Fairbanks, Leslie Shay

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Who’s that moaning and shambling by with a high ponytail, dragging her tennis racket in her limp, dead hand? Why it’s Dana Fairbanks! And is that Leslie Shay over there, elbow-deep in some brains? I’d recognize those highlights anywhere. With so many dead lesbian characters just lying around, doing nothing besides appearing in March Madness brackets and fanfiction, the creators of The Walking Dead decided to do something about it. In addition to their new spin off, Fear the Walking Dead, this fall AMC will debut The Walking Lez.

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The Walking Lez producer Diana Lipschitz gives us some insight into the spinoff. “Well, there were frankly a ton of dead lesbian characters. Like an embarrassment of riches, so to speak. So we figured, their loss, our gain. Plus we were really courting the lesbian viewer demographic, and Tara’s only had one line this season, so…”

What can we expect to see on The Walking Lez? “Lots of familiar faces. I mean, those faces will be decomposing but we think that fans will immediately recognize many of the walkers,” Diana said. “Look closely and you might catch Tara McClay in her signature peasant skirt, Jenny Schecter droning on about ‘Thus moaned Sarah Schuster,’ Naomi Campbell from Skins, who in my opinion, seems really pissed off about her undead status. Not that we blame her.”

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Casting for the alive cast members is ongoing, but Diana assures us that Jaime Murray will be joining the series.

“I don’t think you are allowed to have a show with lesbian characters and not cast Jaime Murray. It’s a contractual thing.” When asked if she was excited about the show, Dana Fairbanks responded, “Crispay….braaaaaaains. Oh, and congrats to Ilene Chaiken on the success of Empire.”

The Walking Lez will air this fall in our wildest dreams. Happy April Fools Day. Hat tip to Lucy Hallowell for this inspiration.

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