1. Shane eventually makes her way home, only to find a jilted woman on her doorstep. No, it's not Carmen — it's Shane's dad's wife, who got abandoned by the other McCutcheon. Stepmom has a gift for Shane, and it drastically changes her life.
2. Carmen won't be back as a regular character, although internet rumors say Sarah Shahi will be in at least two or three episodes, perhaps to beat an apology out of Shane. Sorry, Carmen fans.
3. Marina reappears, looking none the worse for wear, at The Planet. Jenny's got Claude with her, and the three of them explore a little-known aspect of international trade. Marina will show up in a couple of subsequent episodes, but don't look for her to stick around long enough to start a book club with Jenny.
4. Bette gets meat-tagged by her aggressive teaching assistant, Nadia, played by Jessica Capshaw, daughter of Kate. The dean shouldn't pursue this highly inappropriate relationship with her T.A., but thankfully Bette doesn't believe in propriety.
5. Phyllis Kroll gets all crushy on Alice. While it's nice for a bit, Alice eventually finds that her new puppy won't leave her alone.
6. Angus turns out to be less than the perfect mate after all when he finds himself drawn to Angelica's other nanny.
7. Max sees the slimeball who wouldn't hire him when he was Moira pull the same sexist bull crap on a female co-worker. Just when it looked like Ivan was the only one who understood the true meaning of being a gentleman, Max grows a pair of real balls.
8. A somber and disciplined soldier just back from Iraq, Tasha has little in common with fun-loving, gossipy Alice, and yet …
9. Not so much a spoiler as a confirmation, the music on The L Word Season 4 kicks ass, as it has since day one. Kudos to ezgirl, aka Elizabeth Ziff. Now, if she can only stop using the show as an acting opportunity for Betty.
10. Nobody dies, not in the first half of Season 4 anyway. Deaths come in threes: We've lost Dana, Melvin and Mr. Piddles. Isn't that enough?
The L Word premieres on Sunday, Jan. 7, 2007, at 10 p.m. EST on Showtime.