“Newlyweds: The First Year” recap (2.3): Weight of the World

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millionaire

Well, the bad news is that Sam and Laura have another slow episode this week, with their activity limited to shopping for books, talking about finances, and taking a horse-drawn carriage through Central Park. The good news is that Sam and Laura are going on their honeymoon next week, and we will finally have something interesting to watch! Especially because they are millionaires, so their honeymoon is going to be amazing.

The other good news is that Laura and Sam are 100% the least annoying of the newlywed couples. All of the straight couples cannot stop talking about getting pregnant, taking pregnancy tests, and trying to lose weight. Boring!

book 1

We kick off in a bookstore, with Sam playfully asking Laura to open a book and using the first name she sees as her future baby name. Other than this weird game, Sam and Laura do not bring up babies again for the whole episode, which is a record for the Newlyweds show. While in the bookstore, Laura talks about her writing. Sam is supporting Laura’s writing dream right now by, you know, paying for everything.

Laura says she was voted “best writer” in her high school yearbook, which made her realize people enjoyed her work. Two quick questions: Where did she go to high school? I’ve definitely never heard of a “best writer” category. Second, is she the first person in history to take a high school yearbook superlative seriously? Hey, good for her. I never got a superlative, mostly because no one knew I existed (it’s fine, I’m over it).

We find out that Laura writes personal essays for a variety of websites, including Salon (oooh, ahhh, a screenshot of her article), and that most of the essays are about her relationship—with catchy titles like “I married my sorority sister.” Man, as a writer I’m really jealous that I was never in a sorority right now.

Salon

Laura is currently working on a memoir to be digitally published (is this code for self-published?), but she dreams of writing a “real book.” Sam guesses what her book would look like, even the texture of the pages (creamy and rough on the edges- possibly a metaphor for their love?). Sam guesses right, proving once again that they are a match made in heaven. Or in rush week.

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