“The Returned” recap (1.3): Day of the Dead

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Previously on The Returned, the twins had some sisterly bonding (aka Camille tore up Lena’s room and Lena wished Camille was still dead). Simon creeped on Rowan, who thought she was seeing/talking to her dead fiance’s spirit on account of her current impending nuptials. Julie continued to let a creepy little boy live in her house (minus points), but she did share a meaningful glance with Hot Cop Nikki (plus points).

This week’s episode opens the way all episodes of television should (in my opinion), with two very attractive women, wearing Dia de los Muertos costumes, making out.

photo1A+ start, show!

Julie is on her way home to get some sleep before her shift, which is starting in a mere matter of hours, but Nikki is like, “OR, alternate plan here—no sleep! You can come with me, and then you can come with me. (Heyo!)” Julie kisses her, but leaves alone. I would’ve gone with Nikki’s plan, but I guess Julie is a doctor, so it’s probably pretty important to be alert at work and not kill anyone. As Julie is walking away, Nikki removes her hat and mask as though it’s some kind of reveal that she’s, ::gasp::, a woman. (I wonder if anyone watching was actually surprised by that?)

As Julie is walking home, she decides to cut through the murder-pipe-tunnel. Listen, if that thing existed in my town, I would definitely not step foot into it after dark. It reminds me of the rape tunnel/hallway from Irréversible, so, yeah, I’d tack on the extra five minutes (or whatever) to go around it. Julie has maybe never seen Irréversible, so she cuts through and, sure enough, she is attacked and stabbed by a man in a black hoodie (whose identity we’ll potentially be learning tonight on PLL). After the attack, he whispers to her that, “It’s okay. It’s over.” He sounds kind of like Simon, which would make sense in terms of the timeline, I think.

Present day Julie, with her empty, haunted eyes, is at the-old-guy-who-jumped-off-the-dam’s funeral, along with most of the townspeople. It is revealed that the old guy’s wife, Helen, died 29 years ago, because the very dam he committed suicide off of burst. The resulting flood claimed multiple casualties, including Helen. Well, I guess that makes a little more sense for him. I still don’t get why Helen is so calm about returning from the dead, seeing that her husband is now old balls, and then having her old balls husband kill himself.

photo2Admiral Helena Cain, you always were a hard motherfucker.

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