Previously on Once Upon A Time, the Queens of Darkness and Gold brought Maleficent back from the dead, Regina and Emma set out to find The Author and get their happy ending, and Mary Margaret started making even worse decisions than usual because she’s afraid someone will find out what she did to make Maleficent lose her child, including asking Regina to go undercover as the Evil Queen.
Regina, taking the role almost too much in stride, puts on her sexiest evil face and stalks over to Granny’s, where she tells the Queens of Darkness she wants to play for their team. She’s had to listen to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber ramble on about their heroes’ happy ending long enough, she’s ready to be bad. Maleficent says she’ll have to prove that she’s still naughty enough for them and hands her a shot.
I can make the good girls bad for a weekend.
Flashback Regina is trashing young Snow White’s trophy room when Rumplestiltskin shows up to taunt her. Regina snaps at him, saying his magic lessons aren’t working fast enough, and that she’s had to resort to self-teaching from Maleficent’s spellbook. He says if she wants to learn from Maleficent so badly she can go ahead and try and poofs her to Maleficent’s burning bush. (Eh hem.)
Present-day Emma storms up to her parents and asks exactly how her girlfriend ended up undercover without anyone warning or consulting her first.
DOES NOT WANT.
David tries to pretend it was Regina’s idea (or maybe he really thinks it was her idea? who knows who’s lying to whom anymore) and Emma demands to know when the next check-in is so she can be there. The problem is, though, that the last check-in was an hour ago but they haven’t heard from Regina yet.
They haven’t heard from her because she’s on the most badass road trip of all time. Regina tries to slyly get information from them, but Maleficent wants to test her first. Cruella drives onto train tracks that appear like a ski lift in Rosewood to play a game villains apparently play in their spare time called “Don’t be a hero,” in which the first person to poof them to safety loses. Regina saves them at the last minute and Cruella is worried Regina has gone soft but really Regina just likes being alive?? But there is plenty of non-suicidal trouble to be had.
Meanwhile, Emma is running around in circles, frantically worried about Regina. Mary Margaret and David are worried too, only now second-guessing their decision to send an addict into a crack den, when they find a burnt-out and abandoned cop car by the lake. Regina appears, hurting a bit from the fireballs— of the alcoholic and the magical sort—and says she has nothing to report, but it’s just the first night, and trust isn’t so easily won. Mary Margaret is worried the plan isn’t working but Regina tells her that it’s only been one night, and that Maleficent will come to her in time.
Flashback to a younger Regina tiptoeing into Maleficent’s castle asking for a magic lesson. A disembodied voice tells her to start a fire and Regina makes a fireball and does exactly that. Then a hot mess Maleficent stumbles into sight, looking like she just lost a battle with a crimping iron. They say never meet your heroes. Regina tries to remind her of her true power but Maleficent just gets angry and close in response.