“Pretty Little Liars” recap (5.23) Mirror, Mirror

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On last night’s episode of Pretty Little Liars, Tippi the Bird made her triumphant return! But I’m getting ahead of myself. We open with Ali’s lawyer showing her a map of the courtroom, which seems kind of insane. We’ve all seen Court TV, we know what the basic set-up is, right? Does anyone show up at a trial genuinely surprised by the seating arrangements?

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.52.20 PMSorry, our courtroom hologram is down, we’ll have to make do with this crude sketch.

Mr. DiLaurentis is dismayed that 12 strangers will be deciding Ali’s fate, despite this being the American legal system. Did he not take Civics in middle school? Maybe he does need that map. The layer, Miss Marcus, tells them that all they have to do is convince ONE juror that Ali isn’t a killer. Good luck with that one, kids.

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.53.03 PMOK, but when does Kalinda show up?

In the next room, Ashley and Ted are visiting Hanna in prison. Ashley tries to tell them that Ali is innocent, but Ashley isn’t interested in the truth. She just wants Hanna free, and if that means Ali goes down, then so be it. I was hoping Ashley could fill Hanna in on some jail do’s and don’t’s, considering she was locked up once, too.

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.53.36 PMI brought you some cigarettes. Hide them in your vadge and get to bartering!

At Casa Hastings, the three Liars discover that the Varjack phone number is the same as the ones in the personal ads that Ali collected. Veronica asks them if they’re going to be late for school, and all three girls laugh in her face. She advises Aria and Emily not to go to the trial, as the entire town knows they’re friends with Ali. She outright forbids Spencer to go, and Spencer is not having any of it. Spencer Hastings will go to ALL the trials and tamper with ALL the evidence and throw wild accusations at ALL the people present and she will look damn good doing it!

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.54.08 PM So I placed an ad that said “Looking for an Emily in the streets, Aria in the sheets” and these are the responses I’ve gotten.

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.54.20 PM But what does “and a Hanna in the storage unit” even mean?

Later at Brew 2.0, Caleb tells the Liars that the phone number is untraceable. They text it from a burner phone, and discuss how they are running out of time. This shit has been going on for five seasons, but somehow the Liars always out of time. They’re more out of time than Doc Brown.

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.57.07 PM Should I send it?

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.57.15 PMWithout a single emoji? What are we, monsters?

Spencer goes to see Jason, but surprisingly he wants nothing to do with her. Falsely convincing someone to rat out their sister to the cops can have that effect on people. Ali’s dad yells at Spencer and drags Jason away.

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 8.58.57 PM It’s nothing personal. I’ve accused everyone’s sibling of murder, including my own!

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