“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (5.15): Maura cleans out her closet

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Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Jane and Maura play doctor. Korsak buys a bar. Mama R gets a job. And every lesbian everywhere pre-orders a copy of “Bostonia.”

So a man falls of the balcony of some Urban Outfitters-y store after he finds another man snooping through his computer. But we only care because we know this murder will soon pull Jane and Maura away from wherever they are together. Tonight, like pretty much every other night, they’re arriving together after work at the Isles Estates. I look forward to the episode where we finally get to meet the kookie renter who is subletting Jane’s apartment.

Mama Rizzoli has set an elaborate table for them and Jane bemoans the lack of “pizza and beer,” like a true lesbian. Instead they’re having snails from La Petite Maison. I bet that’s the place Maura wanted to take Jane on their first date, but they wound up at the Dirty Robber instead because Jane deemed it “escar-gross.”

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Mama R’s fancy dinner is a thank you to Maura and also a splurge now that she is making good money. In short, it’s a full Treat Yo Self situation. But Mama R has also opened three new credit cards in a week. Whoa, lady, take it from me–compound interest is no treat. Slow up that money train and stop making it rain.

Jane tries to say as much, but gets no backup from Maura. Bad girlfriend, no Bordeaux. But then they’re both saved by the bell and we “Rizzoli” and “Isles” our way into another episode. Poor Mama R, that means there are more snails for her now.

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On the way to the scene Jane and Maura talk about Mama R’s runaway spending. Jane is worried she’ll end up homeless or living with her. So what she’s saying is once that subletter moves out and Jane gives up her place for good–she doesn’t want her mom living with them. So she asks Maura to talk with her about money management and she agrees. The things you do for your mother-in-law, right Maura?

The dead guy and his wife owned a socially conscious clothing company. Sustainable materials, living wages–all that good stuff that makes us feel better about being first-world mass consumers. Feel Good clothing guy was well likes, etc. etc. So why is he dead? Well, none of us really care, but Jane cares–though not as much as she cares that Frankie failed his firearms qualifications test. This is important, she taught him to shoot herself. After pizza, beer and–of course–Maura, guns are the most important thing in Jane’s world view.

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