“Glee” recap (6.9): Crushed it

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Last week on Glee, our hearts were filled with the unicorn love that is Brittana, as we watched our favorite cheerleaders join together in holy matrimony. Somewhere, Mrs. Anderson probably woke up with a massive hangover, and a passed out Puckerman. Otherwise, all is generally right with the world. Except Quinn. We can only figure she was otherwise incapacitated and could not attend the nuptials of her dearest frenemies.

This week, Kurt and Blaine are celebrating their honeymoon in P-Town, and the rest of the old crew is gone, so it’s time to focus big time on the new kids. With three episodes left. Come on Glee, cram a season’s worth of plot development into an hour. I know you can do it! You’ve done it before. I believe in you. XOXO.

During a typically hellacious gym class, Sue screams with Roderick struggles to keep up and “post-gay” Spencer shoots heart eyes at a nearby hipster boy. Spencer does his best to show off, but the hipster boy is unimpressed. When it’s Roderick’s turn to climb the rope of death, he can’t cut it. I feel you, Rod, I have the upper body strength of an newborn T-Rex.

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After class, Spencer confronts Roderick about getting his shit together. Spencer wants to win Sectionals and he’s concerned that Roderick’s lack of physical fitness and dancing skills will hold them back. Roderick asks Spencer if he will give him a hand and teach him a few things, but Spencer just scoffs. That is until he sees that Roderick is friends with his hipster crush. He practically flies into Roderick’s classroom to introduce himself and pretends he’s Roderick’s friend and trainer. While Spencer may be a fine athlete and singer, he is a terrible flirt. His game is so bad, that the hipster boy Allister, actually pretends he forgot something in his locker, just to get away from him.

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Sue is vying for a shot at Best Principal in the Universe, or something like that, so she asks Superintendent Harris to put in a good word for her. He agrees if Sue would be willing to do him a favor in exchange. Enter Myron, a megalomaniacal tween who will soon be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah. Myron has a musical number planned for his big day, and asks the glee club for some pointers. Myron and his troupe of professional back up dancers bust out into Beyonce‘s “Baby Boy” in a number with so much gold lamé, the regional touring cast of Mama Mia would be jealous. No one can deny the kid’s talent, but while receiving notes, Myron loses it and fires all his dancers in a tiny fit of rage.

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Myron announces that he loves the auditorium stage and would like to have his Bar Mitzvah party on it. Oh and he’d like the New Directions to be his opening act. Sue is in no position to say no, so she agrees and tells Rachel and Will to do the same.

Mason finds Jane at her locker and the two engage in some adorably awkward banter. It’s obvious these two have been crushing on each other since their duet a couple episodes back, and Mason tries to ask Jane out on a date to Breadstix. That is until Madison worms her way in, taking Mason away and chastising him for dreaming of eating carbs with a pretty girl. (Hey has anyone else noticed, that Jane and Spencer Hastings have the same wardrobe? )

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Mason calls a meeting of the bros to ask their advice about asking Jane out, because she is the best, and he can’t get his sister to stay out of his love life. Madison micromanages every part of Mason’s day and it’s really cramping his style. He asks Spencer or Roderick to ask Madison out so he doesn’t have to be the sole focus of her attention. Spencer says he’s out because you know, he’s out and Roderick tells Mason he’s not really making the best case for his sister. Spencer then commandeers the convo so he and Roderick can start their training regimen and he can get a date with his dream boy.

In the staff lounge, Will and Rachel debate about what songs to perform at the Bar Mitzvah. Will asks Rachel about her new kids and what they are like, and she honestly can’t tell him a single thing about any of them. Even Will doesn’t buy it.

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Rachel announces to the group that they will be performing at Myron’s Bar Mitzvah, and no one is happy about it. Kitty zings Rachel perfectly by asking if the New Directions are actually going to get a chance to sing, or if some OG is going to swing by and steal their thunder again. Will warns the group that tweens are a hard core tough group, and if you’ve ever insulted Justin Bieber or One Direction on Twitter, you know that is the god’s honest truth. They have to bring their A game. Mason works up the nerve to ask Jane to do a duet with him, but Madison stops him before he can even open his mouth. Foiled again, Mason my dear.

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