It’s been nearly two months since we last caught up with Alicia and company, and it was a different world, a world not just before the dress, but before left shark. Jumping right in with not so much as a recap to remind us of where we left our characters (Diane and Carey bringing David Lee back without Alicia’s approval, Alicia making a kind of bizarre speech about how their frustration that their partner is off campaigning is sexist) The Good Wife seems to be getting topical, with a clip of something very Fifty Shades of Grey-esque playing in court. Diane is going after the people behind a television dramatization of Creepy McCrepper (aka Colin Sweeney) murdering his wife.
Unsatisfied with Diane’s lawyering, Sweeney texts Alicia “I need you,” and it’s impressive that Alicia, chilling in a fancy hotel room, doesn’t immediately need to take a shower to wash off the ick-factor. Alicia (absolutely killing it fashion-wise in a red plaid skirt and suit top), invites Frank Prady inside. He informs her an automated call created by her team is being sent to homes who aren’t exactly hanging pride flags to remind them Prady is all about gay rights.
When Alicia confronts Johnny about the calls he claims ignorance, but Alicia keeps pushing, bringing up a Twitter account @TobyZiegler44. But there’s barely time for our hearts to be warmed by the West Wing reference before Alicia accuses the Twitter account of spitting out codes to the PAC about what areas to throw money at. I feel like Twitter might not be the stealthiest platform for an immoral messaging system. Maybe SnapChat next time?
She’s about to leave in a cloud of well deserved anger when Josh points out Prady just got a bunch of campaign cash. Alicia remembers in the hotel she saw Prady getting a call from “Redmayne,” who unfortunately probably isn’t the recent Oscar winner but is Guy Redmayne, who Josh describes as a “mega-donor.” Cue concerned faces all around, with Marissa showing off her cool head in crisis by going on a cookie run.
Back in court, Kalinda gets a call from Bishop, who ominously asks for a favor.
In the office to pick up some things, Alicia finds Sweeney waiting for her (shudder). While Sweeney lists his grievances (mostly riffs off Alicia’s absence in court) Marissa gets chummy with his wife, bonding over their literary aspirations. Then Sweeney drops the bomb—he knows who funds Alicia’s pack. Alicia’s rattled but not completely thrown, offering to help Diane and Carey in court without actually showing up herself.
Kalinda meets up with Bishop in the rain (which he probably planned for maximum unease factor) and asks her to pick his son up from school for two weeks. I guess he’s never heard of a nanny service.
In court, just as it looks like Diane might win the Sweeney defamation case, opposing counsel throws up a Hail Mary: It’s not defamation because he is totally a cold blooded killer, which they’ll prove. Twist!
Kalinda dutifully picks up Bishop’s son, who calls her on her law-breaking phone call taken while driving, because irony! He’s extremely chatty even as Kalinda orders him to slide down when she notices a suspicious car following them. Just as it passes and they’re seemingly in the clear (for a moment), Chatty Kathy casually mentions a kid at his school says his dad killed his mom. Is Kalinda going to have to be a chauffeur and a child psychologist? Back at Bishop’s, he asks her to spill their little on-road heart to heart, but Kalinda holds back the whole “his classmate accused you of murder” thing. Are not even middle schoolers safe from his anger?
After opposing counsel gets wind Kalinda got some e-mail evidence illegally, Sweeney suspects a leak in the firm, but Alicia seems pretty confident it’s actually Sweeney’s new bride.
Johnny has arranged for Alicia to meet with Redmayne to ask for a little campaign money. After some fun sexual harassment (your hands sir, do not belong on her legs), Redmayne offers to give the campaign a cool million. Because Alicia struck a cord with her bright ideas? No, because he’s homophobic! So after a slur and the beginning of what promises to be a very not accepting joke, will Alicia take the bigot’s money?
In tonight’s moment of Kalinda being a badass, she saves Bishop’s son Dylan from a bully, making it very clear who he’ll be dealing with if he attacks him again (also, pro-tip dude, probably don’t bully the kid whose dad has homicide rumors floating around).
Prady sits down with Redmayne, who proceeds to describe Alicia (and what he’d like to do with Alicia) like the creepiest of all the creepy uncles. After some uncomfortable attempts to change the subject, Prady leaves, making it very clear he isn’t interested in being funded by a crass sexist. And while I’m still of course routing for Alicia, now I wouldn’t totally mind if Prady won.
It turns out Bishop is not into intimidating children, because after discovering Dylan was being bullied his big plan is to tattle to the kid’s parents, then share a drink with Kalinda. This has to be the most stressful babysitting gig ever.
Re-watching a scene from the Sweeney episode from the defamation case with her own stand-in (who really does cut a similar profile to Julianna Margulies) she finds the key to the win: The Chumhum logo is in multiple shots, meaning they could sue for trademark infringement if the show doesn’t settle. Even campaigning, Alicia’s obviously not letting her litigation skills rust.
Prady shows up for a heart to heart with Alicia, revealing that she took the homophobe/ misogynist’s money. Get out now Alicia, look what politics is doing to you! Back at home Alicia sits with a glass of wine and her guilt, completely coming undone when Grace shows up to tell her she’s “the best person she knows.” She doesn’t show up a lot lately, but when she does, that girl knows just what to say (to emotionally cripple her mother).
Next week: election stress gives Alicia some Scrubs-esque visions.