“Once Upon A Time” recap (4.13): SwanQueen and the Kale Salad

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Welcome back, magic-lovers! Hope you behaved yourself over the hiatus. Though I’m sad to see Elsa and Anna go, I think the back half of Season 4 will promise exponentially more evil cleavage, so I’m excited. Let’s dive right back into it, shall we?

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Belle cast Rumplestiltskin out of Storybrooke, Regina started a hunt for the author and Emma agreed to help her find it, and Rumple also decided to hunt for his own happy ending and plans to enlist the help of some old Queens of Darkness. Though so far he has only found Ursula.

Many years ago in the Forbidden Forest, Ursula finds herself in Maleficent’s castle, much to the dragon queen’s chagrin. Ursula swears she was invited, but Maleficent is sure she didn’t invite any sea witches to her lair. Their fight is interrupted by some angry dogs and Cruella de Vil appears, saying she too was invited. Maleficent wants to know who has been inviting evil women to her castle without her permission when Rumple shows up, guilty as charged.

OUAT 413-1 “You can’t just invite people to someone else’s castle!”

Rumple tells them that he’s assembling a team of his favorite villains for his mission to get the bad guys their happy endings, too.

In present day Storybrooke, it has been six weeks since they bid adieu to their Arendelle friends. Mary Margaret is teaching school again, Regina has reclaimed her mayorship, Emma is back on the job as Sheriff, and Hook is working with Belle to find a way to get the fairies out of the sorcerer’s hat he put them in.  He’s just about at the end of his rope, but Belle assures him they’ll find a way to release them.

Hook blames himself for being tricked by Rumplestiltskin, but Belle points out that she was, too. Hook tells her that despite being evil at his core, Rumple really did love Belle, but Belle isn’t sure if that fact makes things better or worse.

OUAT 413-2“No one can leave town so I know Ruby’s around here somewhere, I just can’t find her.”

She just hopes he finds what he’s looking for.

And whatever he’s after, he’s looking for it in New York City, wearing a ratty bathrobe and heating up some of Ursula’s ramen in the microwave. Ursula asks what he’s waiting for, why he’s squatting in her place instead of doing something, but Rumple says he was just waiting, and now it’s time. They have an old friend to visit.

They find Cruella clutching at fur coats while her husband and possessions are taken away from her by the authorities. She turns her head when she hears someone call her Cruella De Vil, since she goes by Cruella Feinberg now.

OUAT 413-3Victoria Smurfit is a gem.

She sees Rumple and Ursula and wonders what they could possibly have to offer her. Rumple knows things didn’t go so great the first time, but he’s here to help her find magic again in this world without magic. Rumple asks her if she’s tired of being ordinary, and since I’m sure she doesn’t exactly fit in at the suburban housewife book club, she opens the garage door to reveal her classic Coupe Deville (okay I don’t know if that’s the kind of car it is, BUT IT SHOULD BE) and tells the other two villains to get in.

Flashback to three grumpy witches demanding to know why Rumple called them all to Maleficent’s castle. Rumple says he wants to help the villains win, but the women tell him to dust off his Disney VHS tapes because that’s not how this works. But Rumple says there’s a way, a curse that can help them find their happy ending.

In present-day Storybrooke, Emma brings Regina a kale salad and a root beer, and they have adorably domestic banter in which Regina chides Emma for eating like a child, but with a smile on her face and a kindness to her teasing.

OUAT 413-4I want a montage of what these two were up to in those six weeks.

Emma asks Regina if she can open the root beer, but Regina is too classy to open a bottle with her teeth. Emma rifles around the drawers for one and finds the torn out page of Young Regina and Robin on the night they could have met and asks Regina about it. Regina says that Robin had thought it was a sign of hope…before he ran off with Marian and his son. Regina thinks of it more as a cruel joke.

Before Emma can…comfort…Regina, Hook and Belle storm in and say they got a translation of a spell from a professor at Oxford that will get the fairies out of the hat. All they need is Regina to perform the spell. Emma calls Regina “Madame Mayor” and says it’s time to create a new holiday called Free the Fairies Day.

OUAT 413-5“We can throw a parade every year…with rainbows…”

They go into the woods and Regina uses the Dark One’s Dagger to free the fairies. Between everyone celebrating and Regina shaking from the old familiar dark magic running through her veins, no one notices the black smoke that seeps out of the starbox and takes a winged shape in the sky.

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