“The Real World: Skeletons” (30.11): Cut Yo’ Nails

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Pranks, pranks and more pranks. The girls run through the house waking up the guys banging pots and pans. The episode has started out on a light note, but things are about to get real for two members in the house.

Jason calls Yolanda, the woman about to give birth to their child, and afterwards, he freaks out. He doesn’t have a relationship with her, but he wants to be a good father because his own father walked out on him. But he is unemployed, which would making providing for the child a bit difficult. Bruno tells him that the baby is going to be beautiful.

Madison, Violetta and Sylvia are chilling in the living room doing regular ol’ roomie things, like looking up their mugshots online. Sylvia is annoyed she can’t find hers, and Violetta is sympathetic.

“That’s annoying,” V says earnestly. I don’t know about you, but unless my mugshot looks like the female equivalent of this guy’s, I’d be pretty psyched it got lost in the ether.

“Wanna see mine?” chirps Madison.  

She pulls hers up, and she is looking a little rough. Confronted with what she used to look like while an addict, Madison becomes dejected. Violetta tells her that she has to go through bad times to appreciate the good.

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Then the boys run though the house in camouflage and throw Jell-o on the girls. Violetta flips out and turns into hurricane V, and in the mayhem, the producers bring a bed to Madison’s room. Everyone hopes it isn’t her ex-boyfriend who was abusive and fell into an addiction with her. 

“I have to stay away from him,” Madison tells us.

The doorbell rings. It’s not the evil ex-boyrfriend! It’s just her stepsister Rachel who has been semi-estranged from her since her druggie days. Yay! Everything is relative! Party time! Sylvia tells us that Madison has hurt a lot of people in her past and thinks this is a good time to make amends.

Madison tells Rachel about Tony’s wandering eye and Sylvia going Sharkeisha on her as nonchalantly as if were telling her about what she had for breakfast. Rachel becomes concerned, because violence and emotional abuse was part of Madison’s old life, and she doesn’t want her falling back into that cycle.

As the sisters talk, Tony takes Jason out on the down for a last hurrah. Jason wants to bring a girl home, but his sales pitch stinks and there are no takers. The two come home and start kicking a barbecue grill to blow off steam.

At four a.m. a drunk Jason calls Yolanda and her brother answers. He tells Jason his daughter has been born, and Jason runs through the house waking everyone up. By this time, everyone is used to being jolted awake, and this news is genuinely good news, so everyone congratulates him.

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Later that night, everyone goes clubbing, including Rachel. Rachel is normal and well adjusted, so she reacts how someone normal and well adjusted would react to being thrown into sloppy drunken Real World craziness. She is not amused. Rachel is not happy that Madison is drinking, because she doesn’t want her replacing one addiction with another. She tells Madison she needs to stop hanging around people suffering from arrested development. She tells her she needs adult friends. Apparently, Rachel left home because she couldn’t bear to watch Madison deteriorate. Back at the house, the two have a heart to heart, along with Tony, who has seen addiction up close as well. In the middle of the intense conversation, Nicole runs in looking for nail clippers. I suppose having long nails while a lesbian is a crisis in and of itself.

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The wolf pack, sans Nicole, goes to North Carolina to meet Taylor, Jason’s newborn. She has other things to do, like fly to Brooklyn and show up to her shift as an EMT so she can go save lives and stuff.

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Jason holds little Taylor in his arms, and Bruno, Tony and all the girls at the house watching via Facetime keep cooing in awe. Jason tells everyone that he might have his old job back as a car salesman, so might be able to provide for Taylor after all. Let’s hope his sub par closing skills with women don’t translate over to customers at the used car lot. Jason cannot wait to be a father and wonders how his own father could abandon him.

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After everyone returns to the house, the doorbell rings. Flowers have arrived for Madison with a note that she is invited to meet the sender at three p.m. No one knows who it is, but Tony is visibly upset. The next skeleton arrives in five hours, aka next week.

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