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“Gotham” recap (1.17): Red Hood

Guys, I know we have only a handful of Gotham episodes until the season finale, but I think this show might ACTUALLY be bringing it! I mean, Renee Montoya obviously fell down a well and someone should get on that ASAP, but this show is picking the fuck up and getting interesting!

We open with a crew of criminals getting ready to rob the Gotham bank, when one of the robbers pulls out a red ski mask. The other guys are confused because they thought the dress code was bandanas and black, but this guy, Floyd, tells them it’s gonna spice things up. They rob the bank, and Floyd turns untouchable: he’s witty, he dodges bullets, and he tosses the cash to Gotham citizens to create enough of a diversion for him and his men to escape.

Gordon and Bullock watch the surveillance footage and meet an adorkable bank teller who was charmed by the red hood’s antics. She liked that the gang only stole the bank’s money (not the people’s) and that they tossed the cash to the people a la Robin Hood. Bullock calls her a communist, which is hilarious. They find out that someone set off a smoke bomb last week and watch the footage to see if it was the same crew.

Over at Wayne Manor, Alfred answers the door with a gun because after that ninja sitch he is NOT fucking around. Instead of ninjas, he finds Reggie Payne, an old war buddy who has fallen on hard times. Bruce invites him to stay because he is the most polite child ever in the history of the world.

Meanwhile, Fish Mooney is taken down a hallway where she sees various prisoners missing limbs/faces/organs. She is brought into a room and asked to sit. I am legit scared for her at this point, because Fish is one of the only characters on Gotham that could get killed; everyone else survives to work with/fight Batman so they are naturally safe, but Fish is a character invented for the show, so she could check out anytime. And then who would wear all the feather accessories?! Who!?

Gordon watches the surveillance video and sees Floyd lighting the firecracker. On closer examination, he’s wearing his work uniform, so the cops head to Kleg’s Auto to bust them.

The gang is chilling at the auto shop and making fun of Floyd for his money throwing/theatricality at the bank heist. Floyd however, is riding the red hood high and feeling invincible. That is, until one of the goons shoots him dead and takes the hood for himself.

Fish is meeting with the manager of the prison/operation, and is informed that the entire joint is run by a Dr. Dulmacher, a version of the classic Batman villain the Dollmaker. She refuses to negotiate unless she meets the doctor, but the manager plies her with a shower and clean clothes. This episode is chockfull of people telling other people to take showers, btw.

Over at Oswald’s, a comic is bombing on stage and the audience is having none of it. The club is practically empty, and the bar is out of booze. Butch tells Penguin that Maroni controls all the liquor (what is this, prohibition? Go to a BevMo) and that he’s freezing out Oswald’s because he hates Penguin.

Gordon and Bullock search the auto shop and find Floyd’s body in the fridge. Bullock considers it a closed case, but of course the red hood gang is robbing another bank as they speak. This time the folks in the bank practically demand a payout, so the hood tosses them some cash and they flee.

Bullock tells Gordon that the criminals are more popular than the cops, and that as long as there are red ski masks in Gotham, this crew will continue to rule. Wait, did Bullock suddenly forget that the entire police force are crooks? The logic of this show hurts my brain. Just then, an eye witness shows up claiming to have seen the gang, so the police order an old fashioned line-up. Also, the witness is FULL of “my crazy ex/girlfriend” jokes, which overstayed their welcome like, fifty years ago?

Back at Wayne Manor, Reggie is helping Bruce with his fighting lessons. He knocks him over several times and makes Bruce punch him in the face like they’re in a father-son fight club. Alfred stops them before they start beating each other with canes, and tells Reggie that he’s trying to teach Bruce order and discipline, not dirty fighting. Alfred sends Bruce to shower, and Bruce is all, “I don’t wanna!” but of course heads off the shower because MANNERS. Alfred tells Reggie that raising and knowing Bruce has made him a better man, and it’s so sweet. The Bruce/Alfred relationship is easily the best, most fully realized relationship on the show.

Meanwhile, Penguin decides to steal Maroni’s booze, because he is full of bad decisions today. Luckily, Butch intercepts the plan and has some paid-off cops confiscate the booze instead, assuring that Maroni won’t trace it to Penguin.

Over at the Deluxe Apartment in the Sky for Street Urchins, Barbara is getting drunk while Selina and Ivy hang out. Selina thanks her for letting them stay, but Barbara is all, “Whatever, I need a designated driver. Now fetch me another martini!” Barbara takes a look at Selina and tells her that she’s pretty underneath all her garbage, and tells her to go take a shower. Showers for everyone!

Barbara brings out all her fancy clothes and tells the girls to take whatever they want. She holds up a sparkly dress in front of Selina and tells her that beauty is a weapon she can use to her advantage. Selina then asks how it’s helped Barbara, because she is an ungrateful jerk who refuses help from anyone. I really want to like baby catwoman, but she’s a real fickle pickle.

The police line-up is underway, and the witness quickly fingers Mike Destro, aka the guy who shot the Red Hood aka bobo Bob Hoskins. Bullock wants to arrest him, but Gordon lets him go so they can tail him to the rest of the gang.

Fish has showered and changed and looks fierce as always. The manager tells her that the doctor has clients all over the world and conducts creepy experiments of his own. He tells her that her eyes will fetch a pretty penny and that she has two choices: die now or lose your eyes and go back to prison. Fish then gives him choice three, which is scooping out her own eye with a spoon and stepping on it before passing out. Shocking and violent, but arguably not a great option either. I legit screamed at my laptop when this happened. I hope this means we get some kicky feathered eye patches in the future.

Bruce brings Alfred and Reggie some fancy wine from the cellar, and despite having a drinking problem, Reggie digs in. The men drink and share war stories with Bruce about their time in the Special Air Services. They wax poetic on secret missions and covert ops until it’s way past Bruce’s bedtime and they send him to sleep.

Reggie asks Alfred if he ever sees the faces of the men they killed, and Alfred says of course he does because PTSD. Reggie asks why Alfred hides his cold-blooded lethal past from Bruce, but it’s obvious that Alfred doesn’t want his young charge to see him that way. Bruce overhears the conversation from the stairs.

Gordon and Bullock track Destro to his crappy apartment, where another gang member is waiting for him. We’ll call him Three. Three’s girlfriend thinks he’s a loser, but Three thinks that if he can just show her the red hood, she’ll respect him. Destro refuses to share the hood, so Three shoots him and steals it. The cops rush in and Bullock refuses to call an ambulance unless Destro gives them answers. Of course Gordon calls 911 immediately, and they find out that Destro was rejected for a loan from all the banks they robbed. Turns out he just wanted to open a bakery. Whomp to the whomp.

At Oswald’s, Butch and Penguin toast to stealing their booze and no longer being sidekicks. Penguin tells Butch he misses Fish, but Butch refuses to drink to her, saying she got what she deserved.

Alfred discovers Reggie robbing the manor and tells him that he would have given him money if he needed it. Reggie apologizes before stabbing Alfred in the chest and running off. Bruce finds Alfred bleeding out and calls 911. Despite knowing that Alfred has to survive, this scene still tugs at the heartstrings. Poor Bruce has been through so much, and the actor who plays him does a terrific job.

Three is rocking the red hood and leading the ever dwindling gang into a bank when they are busted by the cops. A shootout starts and the gang is shot down. Gordon takes the hood and Bullock says he needs a Danish. Gordon gets the call about Alfred and rushes to the hospital to comfort Bruce. Bruce says he can’t lose Alfred, who is on life support.

The Wayne Board of Directors is looking over Bruce’s research, brought to them by Reggie, who was working for them the entire time. He tells the board that, with Alfred in the hospital, now is the time to make a move on Bruce.

Back at the crime scene, a kid finds the red hood in the gutter and puts it on. And the legend continues.

So what did you think of this week’s episode? And what is going to happen with Fish?! Tweet me @Chelseaprocrast with your thoughts/eye patch designs!

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