“Glee” recap (6.8): Happily Ever After

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Dearly beloved, we are gathered together to celebrate the union between two beautiful unicorns: Santana Lopez and Brittany S. Pierce. Theirs is a love for the ages, one that they simply “couldn’t put down.” What they have created, let no man (including Ryan Murphy) tear asunder, for today is for rejoicing. Today, Brittana get married.

Since marriage between gaysharks is illegal in Ohio, Brittana, Britt and Santana’s moms and Artie head to Indiana, where the corn is plentiful and the gays can register at Pottery Barn. Brittany’s mom takes them to a barn in the middle of nowhere and explains in gruesome detail how she gave birth to Brittany in that very barn. 

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While the story doesn’t move the others, Santana decides that it would be fitting to celebrate their union in the holy birthplace of her betrothed. Artie, always the dreamer, sees the potential as well and so a venue has been found. They get to work, prettying up the dusty old barn, and Kurt works as the logistics coordinator as Tina nearly throws out her back moving hay bales. Brittany, who is overseeing everything, has a major case of the pre-wedding jitters. She’s worried about everything from table settings to a barn collapse (which would no be shocking considering this is Glee), and nothing Kurt can say or do will calm her. The major issue is that because Martina Navratilova has backed out of officiating, they now have no one to marry them. Kurt saves the day buy suggesting his dad, Burt Hummel, and we all rejoice in knowing we get to see Burt one more time before Glee takes a bow.

Now that that has been taken care of, it’s time to try on potential wedding dresses, like you do the day before your wedding! Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina join Brittana for a fashion show of delights. Since they don’t want to see each other in their dresses prior to the wedding, they will be coming out one at a time. This is a major sticking point for Brittany, who is currently obsessed with superstition surrounding the wedding. The thing is, Santana simply cannot resist catching an eyeful of Brittany in her final dress pick, which causes a major freak out.

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Later that day in the choir room, Brittany wants to sacrifice a chicken to the wedding gods to counteract the bad luck that Santana’s thirsty eyes have wrought upon them. Instead, Santana suggests that Brittany distract herself by figuring out the seating chart for the big day. However, when Santana finds out that Sue is on the guest list, she goes completely Snix. Rachel points out that sure, Sue will probably taint the wedding if she’s there, but she will definitely ruin it if she’s not invited. No me gusta, Santana has spoken, and leaves the room in a huff.

While grabbing some coffee, Kurt lets Walter down easy. He’s going to the wedding with Blaine and in fact, he’s still in love with the Warbler. Walter understands, and sends Kurt off with his blessing and some good advice. “The only thing worth doing, is going toward love.” Kurt literally runs through the streets of Lima to get to Blaine’s place. Once he arrives, there are no big speeches. Kurt simply can’t bear the thought of another day without Blaine, and they reignite their relationship with a kiss.

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Also in love, is Tina, who is still pining for Mike Chang. They reconnected this year while at their respective colleges, and have been texting and flirting again. Tina, in the most Tina move possible, decides that she wants to propose to Mike. She gathers a quorum of her best guy friends, and at first only Blaine is really on board with it. In fact, Artie is a little bewildered about the whole thing. Tina actually says she can’t do it without their approval, which is so Glee, and she finally gets a thumbs up from Artie.  

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While Sue is polishing her trophies, Santana arrives at her request to talk about the wedding. Santana’s pain is deep and she’s not afraid to tell Sue that she is not welcome on her special day. Her entire heart and soul is wrapped up in this, and the thought of Sue ruining it is too much to bear. Sue asks Santana if they can put their differences aside, but Santana is unmoved. “You are incapable of a selfless act, and if you do what you always do and just show up, you will be forcibly removed by the security guards I’ve hired.” Santana isn’t fucking around, and no one, not even Sue is going to ruin her wedding.

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