Hi, my name is StuntDouble and I’m a DVR-aholic. It started out so innocently: The DirectTV guy installed my DVR and told me to use it wisely. At first, I was just recording one or two shows a week, the ones I really liked. Then it was a couple of shows a day. Pretty soon I was choosing “Record Series” instead of “Record Once.” And one time, by complete magic accident, I found out I could record three shows at the exact same time.
It went from bad to worse when I got wrapped up with this dodgy cat named The Linster. She gave me a sample, told me the first one was free. It was called Chuck, and inside was something named Agent Sarah Walker.
Pretty soon I was ignoring every show in my DVR, and watching a full season of Chuck on DVD. After that, I caught up on NBC.com, and moved the show to Priority One in my DVR. Everyone began to suffer:
Now this shady character called Dorothy Snarker is threatening my life if I don’t watch Pushing Daisies. I don’t see a way out. I feel like I’m drowning in unwatched programs.
CNN has given a name to my pain, and it is “TiVo Guilt.” According to some economic experts, the longer a show sits unplayed in your TiVo or DVR, the less enjoyment you will receive out of it. You can’t interact with your friends because they’re all caught up. Pretty soon TV feels like homework, and people like me are filled with self-loathing because we can’t complete the simple task of — as my granny would say — watching our stories.
The “experts” over at CNN suggest I will no longer feel like an epic failure if I just delete the shows in my queue. That seems foolhardy to me. Maybe instead we could start a support group. Please tell me if you have TiVo guilt, and what shows remain unwatched, even if it’s, say, the presidential debates. Maybe we can get through this together.