Grab your tissues people, because this episode was a real tear jerker.
It starts out with April’s voiceover, letting us know right away that this is her episode. Something profound and life changing will be happening to the plucky doctor, and all we can do is sit helpless in the face of her tragedy. She talks about how when a patient dies, the doctors are told to say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” It allows them to empathize without getting too close. To keep a safe distance from all of the pain they see on a daily basis. Today, that pain is April and Jackson’s. Dr. Herman briefs them on the life expectancy of their child, and that at that very moment, the baby’s bones could be breaking, causing pain even before he can cry out. April is devastated by this. She and Jackson walk out of the consult like zombies, and April watches a man die, his wife or girlfriend, covered in blood, screaming in anguish. Everything is in slow motion and April is numb and in agony at the same time.
While this is happening, Amelia lights a candle in the chapel for the couple and their baby. She sees a woman in scrubs, an intern maybe, falling asleep. She nudges the woman, and tells her to find an on call room.
When Arizona sees Dr. Herman after the consult, she is upset that she wasn’t brought in and starts to choke up. Dr. Herman can see that she is too emotionally invested, and takes April off the case.
Catherine Avery arrives at the hospital to console her son and daughter in law. She gently holds April’s hand, and she cries. The normally icy Mama Avery, soothes and guides April through what will happen next. She tells April and Jackson to chose a day sometime very soon when she will give birth to the child, name him, and have him baptized. Then all there is left to do is hold him, pray, and love the child “until God takes him.” It’s a kindness that the couple desperately needed. In spite of the devastating facts before them, April is holding out for a miracle.
It’s Bailey’s turn in the chapel, but before she can utter a prayer, Meredith is bugging her to take her kids for the weekend so she can visit Derek. Bailey refuses since Ben actually has the day off and Tuck will be with his father. After Meredith stomps off, Bailey’s pager interrupts her prayers, beckoning her to the ER. And what a mess the ER is that day without April to run it. All the docs try to figure out what to do for the Averys. Flowers? Fruit baskets? Amelia, who has gone through the loss of a child herself, suggests they give April and Jackson some privacy.
Amelia heads off to see her patient Drew, who is suffering from the same type of brain tumor that Dr. Herman has. Drew has lost his sight because of it and he will be undergoing surgery to reduce the tumor and buy him some more time. A couple years even. He’s holding out hope that the surgery might help him regain his sight.
In the ER, a woman named Brenda, who has been accidentally shot by her duck hunting husband, has been rushed in. She has pellets stuck in her neck that need to be removed immediately. Bailey hands her labs to Ben, who passes them off on the same intern from the chapel, who seems rather clueless about what to do with them.
Dr. Herman sits with Jackson and April and walks them through the process of inducing birth that will allow the baby to be born and then pass away while in his parents’ arms. She hands the couple consent forms to fill out, including the baby’s death certificate. Dr. Herman isn’t exactly the most sensitive, and explains that it will be easier to fill it out prior. When she leaves the room, April breaks down exclaiming that none of this is fair. She tosses the paperwork to the floor and refuses to sign.
Stephanie and Jo stand before the candles in the chapel, and Stephanie attempts to say a prayer while Jo tries to rush her out. Steph feels a lot of guilt for wishing ill on April and Jackson, never imagining this scenario.
Meredith moves on to Karev, trying to get him to take the kids for the weekend. (I guess that nanny didn’t work out.) Karev agrees to take them, but informs Meredith that it’s actually Jo who would be looking after them. Meredith refuses to leave her kids with Jo, who she considers “a hoodlum”, and chastises Karev for being a shitty “person.” Cristina would have done it. Maggie overhears the argument and is hurt that Meredith wouldn’t ask her. I mean, she’s a person after all. Karev tells her that being Meredith’s “person” is no walk in the park, so be grateful.
Bailey and Callie get Brenda into the OR but before they put her under, she complains about pain in her abdomen. Callie searches for injuries and low and behold she finds the source of the pain. Brenda is preggers. She is in shock and had no idea since she was told she couldn’t have kids. Bailey requests the lab results from Ben, and then yells at him for passing off the samples.
April and Jackson are trying to decide on a name for the baby, and what should be such a wonderful moment for parents is just terribly sad. April begins to freak out about what she is actually about to do, and tells Jackson she wants more time for a miracle to happen. Rather than accept the truth, April’s only way to cope is to push it out of her heart and mind and delay.
Owen finds Brenda’s lab work abandoned on a table in the ER, and he’s rightfully ticked off. Richard steps in and offers to hand deliver the labs. While he walks down the hallway, he comes face to face with Catherine, but neither says a thing to the other.
Since Brenda is in labor, and even though she has a giant hole in her neck, they can’t knock her out until the baby is born. OB has not arrived yet, so Callie is stuck delivering. She tells Brenda to push and when she does, blood comes shooting out of her wound. Thankfully, that one push did the trick and a healthy baby girl is delivered.
Karev decides to light a candle for the Averys, and Owen pops in too. Karev asks Owen if it’s true that Cristina would take Meredith’s kids. He says sure, she’s eat their snacks and play a little, but he did all the diaper changing and grunt work.
Amelia and Stephanie discuss Drew’s case before surgery. Technically, his eyes are fine, but the tumor is interrupting the signal from the optic nerve. Dr. Herman pops her head in and teases Amelia about seeing other tumors. Amelia reveals she’ll be using the same laser technique on Drew as she will use on Dr. Herman, and this procedure is essentially a trial run.
Poor Brenda has lost a lot a blood and want to hold her baby, but she’s too critical. The pellet in her neck, has now moved into her heart. Paging Dr. Maggie Pierce.
Meredith stops Richard and asks if he’s be willing to take the kids that weekend so she can see Derek. She’s having a sexmergency! Ordinarily he would but he wants to be free in case Catherine needs his support.
Jackson catches up to April and says that yes, sometimes miracles do happen, but a miracle is not going to happen for them. April doesn’t understand how this could happen to them. All her life she’s heeded God’s call, followed the plan she thought he laid out for her. Now she’s pissed. She’s angry with God. “I feel like God is laughing at me,” she tells Jackson. At a time where she needs to feel embraced by God’s love, there is nothing but pain and confusion surrounding her. She decides the only way to cope is to keep herself occupied with work, and heads to the ER.
Karev brings Brenda’s husband Howard to see their little girl. He simply can’t believe it. All the doctors told them they couldn’t have a child and here they are, presented with the one thing they so desperately wanted. He’s beyond excited when Karev asks if he wants to hold the baby. Meanwhile, Brenda is not doing so hot and they have to get the pellet out of her heart or she will most certainly die on the operating table. Karev pops in the call their baby a miracle.
Jackson finds himself in the chapel, doing his best to talk to a God he doesn’t believe in. He knows his wife believes though, and that’s enough reason to give it a shot. He begs God to bring April comfort. “Show up for her,” he begs, tears in his eyes.
After Jackson leaves, Richard stops by to light a candle. Catherine also comes in for comfort and to give April and Jackson some space. Richard offers to help any way he can, but Catherine pushes him away, saying she’d rather be alone.
Amelia and Stephanie get to work on Drew’s tumor, and as they work, Stephanie accuses Amelia of using Drew as a guinea pig. She suggests they quit while they are ahead. Amelia tells her that she’s projecting her own guilt on to the patient, and this is Drew’s last chance at any kind of a life, even if it’s just a few years.
Maggie removes the pellet from Brenda’s heart but it won’t kickstart again. They use the paddles to no effect. Maggie starts squeezing it by hand as Bailey gives one of her patented pep talks to the unconscious woman.
April joins Owen in the ER where he tells her that the place is a mess without her, and she is welcome to work as long as she wants to. Ben comes in looking for the intern, and lays into her for not delivering the labs. The woman is clearly dazed, and April takes the paperwork from her hands. It’s a release form for a deceased patient. When April looks at the women again, she realizes she’s not an intern at all. She is the woman April saw earlier in the ER, covered in blood, crying out in grief. The woman’s fiancé died the night before and she was given scrubs to change into. She couldn’t bring herself to leave and just wandered around the hospital all night. She apologizes for messing anything up, but April simply takes her into her arms for a hug. She asks the woman if she believes in God, and she does. April tells her that she’s strong and she will survive this. This gives April the courage she needs on her own to go through with the procedure. They name the baby Samuel Norbert Avery.
Arizona lights a candle and, while it’s a brief moment, at least no one interrupts her.
Richard tracks down Meredith and says he’s changed his mind and he will take the kids after all. Maggie then chimes in and offers to help her sister. She happens to love kids and they feel the same. Plus, hello, they are her niece and nephew. This brings a big smile to Meredith’s face.
Drew makes it out of surgery and when he opens his eyes, he can see. Sure it’s blurry but he can see! Amelia removed 98 percent of the tumor, giving Drew a few more good years. When Amelia and Stephanie are alone, Amelia lays into her about wanting to quit. Brain surgery is like stepping into the abyss, the unknown. You have to be willing to take the chance, even if it seems hopeless. If she’s not able to do that, then she shouldn’t be a surgeon, let alone a brain surgeon.
Howard cradles his surprise bundle of joy and brings her in to see Brenda in recovery. They both oo and ah over their little miracle boo.
In another room, April and Jackson prepare to meet and say goodbye to their child. Dr. Herman places the tiny Samuel in April’s arms, and a priest comes to baptize him. The couple sit with their son as he drifts away, squeezing April’s finger before passing. Arizona meets up with Dr. Herman in the all outside their room. Arizona tells Dr. Herman that she was right, and Dr. Herman tells her mentee that things like this are never easy.
As Richard gets ready to leave for the night, he sees Catherine. Catherine asks him to take her home and hold her, and he wraps his big arms around her. Jackson wheels April out of the hospital to go home and grieve together as well.
In the chapel, Amelia sits, looking at the glow of all the candles glowing. All the prayers for April and Jackson, and other patients needing miracles that didn’t come that night. Owen sits beside her and she tells him that she too lost a child, who only lived less than an hour after being born. He reaches out and takes her hand, and they sit in silence, lost in their own thoughts and prayers.
Here are our favorite #GreysGays tweets from last night’s episode.
May you never have to be the narrator on Grey’s Anatomy. #GreysAnatomy #greysgays
– oluwa-is-involved (@olubela) February 13, 2015
If Meredith doesn’t go to see Derek, does that mean she did go see Cristina? #GreysGays #GreysAnatomy
– Catherine (@CMeushaw) February 13, 2015
If no one ever hears from me again it’s because I’ve drowned in my own tears. Thanks @shondarhimes #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays
– anh62950 (@anh62950) February 13, 2015
@shondarhimes causes too much emotional turmoil all in 1 day. I’mma need this to be spaced out. #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays
– B (@dcharmingone69) February 13, 2015
What business does Mer have flying to DC? If she manages to get a free weekend for sex she better go to Switzerland. #GreysGays
– Chen Drachman (@shokoshik) February 13, 2015
Meredith is the type of person who probably interrupts people while they’re pooping. #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays
– anh62950 (@anh62950) February 13, 2015
Not even 5 minutes in and Debbie Allen has me bawling like a little baby. #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays
– Jaime Tracks (@jaimetracks) February 13, 2015
Everybody stop everything. @msdebbieallen is here to help. #GreysAnatomy #GreysGays
– Nic (@njnic23) February 13, 2015
