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“Episodes” recap (404): Carol discovers the joys of hot sex and wardrobe doubling

Good news, everyone: We’re going to recap the Carol/Helen story on this season of Episodes to cover what I predict will be its giddy beginnings, adorable middle, and premature, sad demise featuring some light stalking and awkward business meetings. Ya know-like your last relationship.

When we last saw Carol, she surprised herself by kissing her boss, Helen, in her office.

The next morning, Carol is even more surprised to find herself in a strange bed surrounded by hers-and-hers C-cups.

Helen is nowhere to be found. Listen, it’s not polite to make the other person wake up alone wondering, “What should I do now? Am I supposed to leave? Where are my underpants?”

Fully dressed, purse and all, Carol does her walk of shame into the kitchen, where Helen, all cazshy-cazsh in bare feet and a T-shirt, is making coffee for two. Helen looks like she’s ready for Round 2, and Carol looks like she’s late for a pitch meeting.

Laughing too hard, doing funny voices and forgetting how she takes her coffee, Carol is freaking out inside, but Helen’s languid and cool as shit. Maybe it’s Helen’s kind eyes, perfectly tousled hair, or the kind of reassuring confidence that only a $100,000 kitchen can buy, but Carol soon calms down so they can reminisce About. Last. Night.

Helen: Last night was-nice.

Carol: Oh, last night was amazing.

Helen: Right? I gotta say. For someone who’s never done it before-

Carol: It was a little weird, at first. I mean, there’s nothing to hold onto.

Actually, there are at least two things you can hold onto. Just saying.

Helen moves in for the first kiss of the day, but Carol giggles in her face. Don’t go writing angry letters to Showtime about straight women tropes—Carol is nervous because she’s happy. So happy, in fact, that when her phone chimes a reminder that she’s supposed to meet Beverly for a hike, Carol says, “I don’t want to hike. I want to stay with you.”

You’ve spent one night together and you’re already ready to blow off your friends? Oh, Carol. You’ve got this.

Instead, she invites Helen to join her and Beverly, which is also known as Plan B: If I do have to go somewhere, you should come with me. Carol assumes she has to run home to change, but soon discovers one of our secret bennies: wardrobe-doubling.

Dressed like professional triathletes to walk slowly up a hill (it’s an LA thing), the new couple arrives to meet Beverly. Beverly compliments Carol’s “new” outfit, which prompts sly chuckles from Carol and Helen. Later on the trail, Carol and Helen can barely hide their crushiness when Helen runs out of water. Carol offers her water bottle to Helen. You know how really happy new couples are incredibly annoying?

Helen: Are you sure?

Carol: Totally! Finish it!

Helen: No!

Carol: It’s fine!

Helen: Really?

Beverly: You’re both welcome to mine.

Carol/Helen: [in unison] No, that’s OK. We’re good.

Helen has discovered Carol is her type, Carol has discovered amazing sex, and Beverly has discovered she has gaydar.

Back at work, Carol and Andy are still trying to figure out if Myra is pregnant. I don’t know. That doesn’t look like a baby bump so much as she might be smuggling sea turtles.

And here comes Helen with some lame story about needing to see Carol in her office. As they sashay away together, Gossipy Andy instantly knows they’re sleeping together and shares his revelation with Myra. Myra doesn’t know what day it is, let alone the subtle signs of office romance.

Later, Carol confirms Beverly’s gaydar ping over salads:

Beverly: Please tell me this isn’t just because you work for her.

Carol: No. No! NO! This is totally different.

Beverly: I would say so!

Carol: She is amazing. She’s everything I always wanted in a relationship.

Beverly: Everything?

Carol reminds Beverly: “Hello? Those dicks? They come with dicks.” Beverly just wants to hear more about sex with a woman.

Carol: Obviously, I’ve never seen one that close before. I thought it’d be a little weird. But once you get down there, it’s like, “Oh, I know you!”

Carol tells Beverly everything is basically a revelation. She loves being with someone who wants to do things like just hang out. Someone who’s fun. Someone whose house she’s actually been to.

It all feel nice and easy and right. Hey, wait a minute. Is this what it feels like to be-what’s that thing called? Happy?

A bunch of other stuff happened this week. Matt got back with his is ex, sort of, Sean’s old writing partner is gearing up to sue him and Beverly, and there was a bus full of clowns. The important thing here is that Carol is happy. Helen is happy. It can’t last. Or can it?

Next week: Carol learns that she and Helen have more in common beside shitty poker faces and the same bra size.

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