Good news, everyone: We’re going to recap the Carol/Helen story on this season of Episodes to cover what I predict will be its giddy beginnings, adorable middle, and premature, sad demise featuring some light stalking and awkward business meetings. Ya know—like your last relationship.
When we last saw Carol, she surprised herself by kissing her boss, Helen, in her office.
The next morning, Carol is even more surprised to find herself in a strange bed surrounded by hers-and-hers C-cups.
Helen is nowhere to be found. Listen, it’s not polite to make the other person wake up alone wondering, “What should I do now? Am I supposed to leave? Where are my underpants?”
Fully dressed, purse and all, Carol does her walk of shame into the kitchen, where Helen, all cazshy-cazsh in bare feet and a T-shirt, is making coffee for two. Helen looks like she’s ready for Round 2, and Carol looks like she’s late for a pitch meeting.
Laughing too hard, doing funny voices and forgetting how she takes her coffee, Carol is freaking out inside, but Helen’s languid and cool as shit. Maybe it’s Helen’s kind eyes, perfectly tousled hair, or the kind of reassuring confidence that only a $100,000 kitchen can buy, but Carol soon calms down so they can reminisce About. Last. Night.
Helen: Last night was—nice.
Carol: Oh, last night was amazing.
Helen: Right? I gotta say. For someone who’s never done it before—
Carol: It was a little weird, at first. I mean, there’s nothing to hold onto.
Actually, there are at least two things you can hold onto. Just saying.