“Grey’s Anatomy” recap (11.9): Too pretty for prison

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Previously on Grey’s Anatomy, Callie decided to end her relationship with Arizona, thus plunging a scalpel into the hearts of loyal Calzona shippers. During a routine ultrasound on her ex-boyfriend’s new wife, Stephanie discovered that April and Jackson’s baby was likely suffering from a rare and often fatal bone condition. Arizona set out, behind Dr. Herman’s back, to save her grumpy ass life with the help of Amelia Shepherd. Bailey continued to be underused and awesome. Karev stopped being Dr. Butthole Jr. and became Meredith’s substitute person, something that has put a strain on his relationship with Jo.  New heart surgeon Maggie Pierce came to town and—surprise!—she’s Meredith’s sister (Richard’s daughter). Derek moped and lashed out because he really wanted to be one of the President’s men, but Meredith remembered that he isn’t the sun and refused to move to DC. Owen was around, doing stuff. And that’s what you missed on Grey’s Anatomy

When we return, Derek is angrily packing his suitcase and moving to DC without his wife and kids. As he leaves, he glances at “The Post It” which hangs above their bed—the one where they promised never to run and always love each other. Later on, as Meredith tucks Zola into bed, she too sees “The Post It” and remembers their vows—then promptly tosses it into the trash.

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Elsewhere, Amelia and Arizona get all space-agey in the lab with swirling pics of Dr. Herman’s tumor floating past in all different angles and dimensions. Jackson finds April and has to break the news about their little boy.

Since Meredith has become a single mom overnight, she auditions a possible nanny who even offers to chill in the waiting room while Meredith deals with some incoming traumas. Already this nanny knows the score. The trauma is a multi-car accident caused by a mother of two who drove off a bridge with her kids strapped in the back. When Callie finds out about Meredith’s new nanny, she’s excited—well, until Mer causally tells Callie that Derek left, so it’s kind of a necessity.

Stephanie and Jo prep for incoming traumas and Stephanie can’t believe that a mother could harm her kids. Jo points out that men and women are both capable of terrible deeds, including harming their children. Just then April walks by and yells at them for dawdling, and Jo feels terrible for talking about dead kids. They decide that April couldn’t possibly know yet because, if she did, there’s no way she’s be at work.

The woman’s two children, blessedly, have manageable injuries, but the mother is seriously injured. Everyone has their own theories about why a mother would hurt her children, but Meredith cautions not to jump to conclusions. They rush the woman into surgery. Just then, the woman’s husband comes in and Owen has to explain that his wife caused the accident.

As Amelia geeks out about Dr. Herman’s tumor, Arizona is nervous as hell. She hasn’t told Dr. Herman that she stole her scans and broke HIPAA laws left and right, which is punishable by prison time. She’s simply “too pretty for prison,” though, and is hesitant to take that leap. (You may want to reconsider, Arizona. You may find your very own Alex Vause in the big house.)

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