“Lost Girl” recap (5.7): The heart is a lonely Valkyrie

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Previously on Lost Girl: I was super wrong at my blind guess about which Greek gods the three Fae body snatchers were because I was stuck in a confining gender binary. Tamsin put on a cheerleader outfit. It was good. A gay football star came out. It was good. Lauren saw some dude’s ween. It was less good.

We open in the movie Twister, which, if we’re being honest with ourselves was a pretty fun, dumb disaster movie that you may not know Joss Whedon had an uncredited hand in scripting. Bo and Dyson are walking through a debris field. Lots of overturned cars and downed power lines. No flying cows though. A tornado has cut a swath of destruction through downtown Toronto (I see you, CN Tower). Production budget wise, this is a pretty impressive set piece. If you’re gonna go out, spend all of Showcase’s money while you’re at it.

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Bo and Dyson pun while saving someone trapped in a car because natural disasters just lend themselves to wordplay. Then Tamsin comes up and tells Bo the scene looks like a battlefield, and she should know. But then she says as long as they’re together they can take on anything because, “You’re my girl.” I know this is all headed to heartbreak and despair, but must you make it so obvious? Be gentle with the Valkubus hearts out there.

Bo looks uncomfortable and considers having “The Talk” in the midst of all this rubble and twisted metal. But, yeah, maybe just keep it to bad puns instead of heart-to-hearts. Plus, did anyone else notice that big-ass scorched triple spiral on the ground? Well, they do call natural disasters acts of God–in this case, gods.

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Dead Candle Lady/Fae Cult Member #1 is watching it all from her balcony. She turns and calls out the names of the blinded oracles. Hold up, didn’t Bo rescue the oracles? How are they back with her? And what are they on because they seem really chill and groovy for a bunch of ladies who just melon balled out their own eyes. They snap to attention at the crack of thunder and start chanting about “Only in the darkness can we see the light.”

Dead Candle Lady/Fae Cult Member #1 swivels around with glee–but the real kind not the insane kind where a bunch of former glee club geeks turned college dropouts are allowed to return to their alma maters and get hired for teaching positions immediately without going through the credentialing process–and declares it “Ready, set, Bo!” time.

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Lauren is treating patients in her clinic from the disaster. Are they all Fae? Do the Fae just know to go there for their health care needs? I know the Dark Fae provide dental, but is there also Universal Faecare? Oh, right, sorry–Canada. Only us silly Americans worry about this stuff.

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