“The Real World: Skeletons” recap (30.4): Enter the Skeleton

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Today the first skeleton arrives. Things cannotand do notgo well.

But first Bruno plays a prank on Sylvia. He dumps a pot of cold water on her head as she is showering. Then she and Madison spray him with shaving cream. Sylvia tells us she and Bruno are technically not getting along but these shenanigans happen anyway.

The roommates head to a club and the boys tell us that they are specifically looking for girls who are not camera shy. Tony finds a gal who is all too happy to twerk on him. Mission accomplished.

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Nicole gets the number of a girl named Ciara and leans in to kiss her. Ciara leans back to avoid it. Oh, denied!

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“I want to get to know her…underneath the sheets,” Nicole tells us. Nicole convinces Ciara to come back with her to the Real World House and they head to the confessional where Nicole immediately plants one on her.

“My version of talking is kissing,” she tells us.

Meanwhile, Bruno and Sylvia are flirting again. Bruno tells us he is seeing three women. “I’m that guy,” he tells us and adds, “Sorry mom!”

The next morning the roommates wake up and realize that they are all broke because they spent all their money on booze.

“We’re like a bunch of drunk little puppies,” says Violetta. Everyone concludes that they need to get jobs so the liquor can continue to flow.

The roommmates head out the door and miraculously, various service jobs end up in their laps. Everyone coasts into the labor force with ease, except Madison, who keep getting distracted by puppies and doesn’t do very much work at all.

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“Madison is in Madison land,” remarks Sylvia with side-eye.

The rest of the roommates finish their shifts and congregate at Sylvia and Madison’s bar. Bruno thinks it is a brilliant idea to bring Carla, and Sylvia and Madison decide that their shift is over and leave for the house. Bruno brings Carla to the house, and Sylvia escapes to the confessional and bursts into tears.

The next night everyone goes to a club sans Bruno, who goes out with Carla and her friend. He decides that Carla is the one for him. We’ll see if this lasts more than one episode.

Across town, the rest of the roommates are getting drunk, and their livers are bigger than their wallets yet again. Tony comes up short, and Jason offers to cover him. Sylvia, upset from the Bruno situation, takes her anger out on Tony.

The fight between Sylvia and Tony continues back at the house and escalates to the point where Madison and Nicole have to separate them. Nicole carries a drunken Sylvia up the stairs, away from the equally irate and drunken Tony.

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The next morning, Silvia and Tony make up. Tony admits he forgot he ordered a round of shots, and Sylvia apologizes for losing her temper. Then a producer calls Sylvia and tells her she needs to come to the studio for a one-on-one interview.

As soon as she leaves, cut to a woman dragging a suitcase down the street towards the Real World House.

The doorbell rings.

Madison opens the door. The woman introduces herself as Alicia and immediately asks for Sylvia. Violetta grows suspicious and wants the 411, but Madison is already giving Alicia a tour of the house.

On a prerecorded tape Alicia tells us she and Sylvia work together. Alicia tells us she is “really mean” to Sylvia and that Sylvia has a reputation for “fucking other people’s boyfriends.”

Meanwhile, back at the interview, Sylvia tells the producers, “I can tell this is going to be a good day!”

Alicia introduces herself to the rest of the roommates. Violetta suspects that Alicia is “that bitch” who was bullying Sylvia back home and refuses to shake her hand.

Back at Sylvia’s interview, the producer asks her if she dislikes anyone at home. Sylvia mentions Alicia and tells the producer her feelings about her, “On a scale of 1 to ‘If you were on fire, I wouldn’t piss on you to put it out.’ Yeah, way above that.”

Back at the house Violetta tells Alicia that she already can’t stand her and that she can go ahead and sleep in the trash can. The roommates are worried who the producers will send in the front door next, but they all have a twisted desire to see Sylvia’s face when she sees Alicia.

Violetta sees a couple of guys carrying a bed into the house and freaks out. She calls a producer and informs him that this will be the first episode of The Real World where someone dies. Violetta then goes to work, tossing Alicia’s bedsheets and belongings over the balcony.

Madison is still squealing over the new roommate, not realizing she is Sylvia’s mortal enemy, and Nicole tells Madison that when her skeleton shows up at the door, she will be best buddies with him/her just to show her what it feels like. Madison decides to prove her loyalty to the house by tossing Alicia’s mattress over the balcony, but Jason intervenes, telling everyone to chill out until Sylvia gets home.

Sylvia arrives home and Violetta warns her that the house has a new roommate and that she is looking for her. Sylvia peers out into the patio and sees Alicia and spontaneously combusts.

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Would Alicia piss on her to put out the fire? Tune in next week. This season can only get more twisted and sociopathic from here on out. Enjoy!

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