“Gossip Girl” mini-cap: Count your blessings, but don’t count on them

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It’s Thanksgiving time on Gossip Girl, a time for all families to embrace and give thanks for all of their blessings — unless all their blessings have been seized by the government, which was the case of the Archibalds.

Captain Archibald’s back in town to ask Nate and Nate’s mother to join him on the lam in Dominica. Nate’s hurt, annoyed and skeptical of his father, but his mother wants the three of them to reunite and move out of the country together. Nate’s father is hard selling the idea, so you know it’s not on the up and up.

Poor Blair not only has to accept that her father won’t be there for Thanksgiving, but her mother’s new boyfriend, Cyrus, has moved in and laid out the welcome mat for his eccentric relatives. Blair’s determined to have as traditional of a Thanksgiving as she can and at the heart of that tradition is the baking of a pie that her father usually bakes. OK, so she’s not really baking the pie — she tosses that labor-intensive chore to Dorota.

The biggest insult comes when Blair sees Cyrus eating a slice of the warm pie then suggesting a better combination of ingredients to satisfy his palate. To compound matters, Dorota slips and tells Blair that Eleanor and Cyrus will be announcing their engagement at a restaurant Thanksgiving dinner. It’s too much for Blair to handle, so on Thanksgiving, she flees the house on a mission of mope dragging the adorable Dorota with her.

Dan and Rufus are in angst over Jenny’s whereabouts. It’s been a week since they last heard from her, which, for some viewers, is great news. Dan learns from Serena that Jenny has been hanging with Eric. Dan passes the info to Rufus who calls Lily. She has been out of town with Bart but notices Jenny’s things are in a neat pile on her floor upon her return. Jenny apparently has picked up her father’s trait of just showing up uninvited to Lily’s.

Lily tells Rufus that Jenny can stay until things calm down between father and daughter. Jenny has secured emancipation forms from the family court and is in the process of making sure Rufus will just be a has-been singer rather than a has-been singer who is also her father.

Serena’s still moonstruck over Aaron. (Why?) At every opportunity Blair teases Serena about being just another one of Aaron’s women. But over a homemade candlelight dinner, Aaron announces that he wants to be exclusive with Serena. When she suggests that they celebrate with champagne, he also mentions that he’s sober and that he really needs support around his sobriety and not temptation. Oops. Of course, Serena vows that she’s just the girl to give him that support because she’s practically a teetotaler. (Now we’ve all seen Serena completely totaled and it was not on tea.)

Eric becomes suspicious about Bart’s knowledge of Eric’s personal life. Eric asks big brother Chuck why Bart would know such personal things, and Chuck confirms that Bart has a private investigator that works for him. Eric is creeped out. Ultimately, on Thanksgiving, Chuck allows Eric access to Bart’s safe and shows Eric the files being kept on him, Serena and Lily. Chuck gets a call from Vanessa asking him to come to an intervention for Nate so Chuck leaves Eric with the files.

Dan and Rufus run into Aaron at the market as Aaron shops for something nice to bring over to Serena’s for a pre-Thanksgiving-Dinner gathering. Aaron can’t decide on which cheese to bring. Dan, being Dan, starts babbling about Serena’s life being really complicated and how she enjoys wine rather than cheese and some random comment about Georgina and Aaron gets more confused by the minute. Shut up, Dan!

Lily discovers Jenny’s emancipation forms and finally calls Rufus and invites him over so that he and Jenny can talk. Rufus drops his food prep and heads over with Dan. Why take Dan? Oh right — so Dan and Aaron and Serena can have a confrontation!

Rufus tells Jenny that he loves her and will even sign the emancipation papers but that nothing will stop him from loving her. Jenny assumes he’s guilt tripping her and still acts like a rotten kid with edgy black eye make-up and leaves. How did good guy Rufus raise both Mr. Self-Righteous and Ms. Self-Centered?

While at Serena’s, Aaron calls Dan a liar about Serena’s complexities so the two guys march into Serena’s room for clarification. Serena tells Dan that yes, he is lying and Dan agrees, because he’s magnanimous like that. After Aaron leaves for the Waldorfs’ to be with his father, Dan tries to convince Serena to be more truthful with Aaron because all the secrecy is what hurt his relationship with Serena.

Vanessa, Chuck and an FBI agent give Nate the low down on his father’s plot to extort money from Nate’s maternal grandparents in exchange for allowing Nate and his mother to remain in the States. Nate then goes and confronts his father and convinces him to turn himself in. Thank goodness! What a tedious story line.

Eric tells Lily and Serena about the files and Lily gathers her children, her dignity and their dossiers and walks out on Bart. Serena heads over to Blair’s to give her file to Aaron. I’m all for full disclosure, but that’s crazy! While there, Eleanor asks Serena to text Blair because Blair is wandering around NYC aimlessly with Dorota and will not take anyone’s call. Of course, Blair text Serena back with her whereabouts and Eleanor rushes over to find her.

Jenny and Blair see each other on the street. What a coincidence! Jenny’s a homeless mess. Blair tells Jenny how much Rufus loves her because he runs after her and tries to make sure she does the right thing. Jenny tells Blair how much Eleanor loves her, too. Right then Eleanor drives up and in a symbolic gesture gives the frozen Jenny a shawl maybe thawing out their relationship. Blair says that she’ll go home only if Jenny goes. Deal.

The big surprise for Blair is that her father is at the house! Eleanor wanted Blair’s father to meet Cyrus to have his blessing to bring this new man into Blair’s life. The best news of all is that Blair’s dad baked his famous pie so Thanksgiving is saved!

Eric tells Lily that he read her file, too and that he knows that she spent time in a sanitarium just as he did. Lily won’t say why she was there, but apologizes to Eric for how she reacted when he was in there last year.

Rufus and Dan return home to find Jenny, sans the black eye make-up, back in the fold. Group hug! Vanessa arrives for Thanksgiving dinner. Oops, it’s not ready! Jenny apologizes to Vanessa for the Nate thing, insisting that he doesn’t like her anyway.

Who’s at the door now? Lily and Eric, of course. (Serena stays home and Aaron comes over and says that he hasn’t read the file, and will accept whatever Serena tells him.) Lily crashes Rufus’s house uninvited for dinner. Touche. They all pitch in to complete the dinner.

So, sweet, well except Vanessa sees the un-opened letter Nate had mailed to Jenny and steals it and actually reads it. Pass the gravy!

Do we like Serena and Aaron as a couple? Is the Vanessa, Nate, Jenny love triangle of any interest? Do you think Serena’s file mentions her secret affair with Blair? Fine, I made that up. Sue me.

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