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“The Comeback” recap (2.8): Valerie gets what she really wants

Well, we did it. We made it to the Emmys. The season finale of The Comeback is a wild ride, so grab your box of tissues, because there won’t be a single dry seat in the house.

The finale opens with Val in the car with Mickey and Jane, as it is the night of Juna’s big party. Juna was a Val’s saving grace on the set of Room and Bored, but we haven’t seen much of her this season because she has been off becoming a huge movie star. We trust Juna, we love Juna, Juna is insanely hot. In the car, Mickey is worried he looks as pale as his “mother if she ever went to China.” Mickey does look a little pale, and we know he has been battling cancer. When the door man comes to the car door, Valerie gives her name, but the guy says she isn’t on the list! Jane has a really adorable freak out, stating that Valerie is an Emmy nominated actress and that she shouldn’t be treated like some party crasher. Jane proves that she truly is Val’s Samwise Gamgee.

Inside, Val tells us that Juna’s party is an institution. She throws it around award season, so everyone is in a good mood! Val surely is! She dances out to the pool area, in a way only Valerie can, entering into a group of people that begin to clap and cheer. Val grabs Mickey so they can see who everyone is freaking out about, and Mickey spots “a boy that looks like Tilda Swinton,” but it turns out everyone is clapping for Val! This is a big deal, and you can see her lighting up inside. Acceptance. Gratification. Feels nice.

Valerie finds Juna looking grave. Juna pulls her aside, and asks about how Mickey is doing. She says his light seems like it has dimmed, and that she is really worried. But there is something else! Juna says that she is worried Val “isn’t seeing things clearly.” The two scurry further away from the crowd, and Juna says that she was hurt by what she saw in Seeing Red. The way she was portrayed in the show was really painful, and Val’s involvement in the show seemed like an endorsement. She was made to look like she slept around for parts, and now she has to do a lot of damage control in her own career. She doesn’t think any role is worth compromising who you are. Also, it is annoying that Seth is charming and the women are horrible. HELLO, HOLLYWOOD.

I agree with Juna, the lovely little voice of reason. Val reveals that her and Mark are having a difficult time, and Juna says “Val, you need Mark”, which is, like, alright now I’m crying. Juna hugs her for way too long, and it would be hot if it weren’t so damn sad. Suddenly, Val’s nephew Tyler jumps off of the balcony into the pool. Saved by the bell.

Outside, Mickey is really ready to leave. He is feeling really weak. Two obnoxious dudes come out and start quoting their favorite line from the show, “OLD WOMAN’S PUSSY!” It is rude and annoying, but luckily as they are taking their selfie with her, Chris (Kellan Lutz) pulls up in his convertible, to a gaggle of screaming girls.

Chris was the male lead in Room and Bored. Val says hello and goodbye, but Chris isn’t letting her leave! Her nephew drives Mickey home (because Jane is a logistical genius) and Val goes back into the party to have a drink with Chris. As they chat at the piano, the girl-fans are going crazy behind him. He pulls Val into the bathroom, followed by the full crew. Chris tells a very mundane story about how he stepped on a nail and Val said it was “the price of stardom,” and he has always been very taken by the fact that she thought of him as a star back then when he was just starting out.

Chris drives Val home, and walks her to her door. Val thanks him, but he has a lot to say. He tells her that he thought she was super hot when they were shooting Room and Bored and then he tries to put the moves on her. He is laying it on thick, but Val says “Nah, playa,” and attempts to send the poor guy on his way. He tells her that he “is really hard” (YUCK) and he can come in the back door so nobody sees! Val doesn’t “do backdoor,” so finally Chris leaves, but not before saying, “She’s all yours, butch” to Jane. I would be offended if he hadn’t just been shot down so hard. “Movie star with a mommy complex! Next!”

Val goes inside and has an epic late night food binge, while practicing her acceptance speech for her Emmy! She even sets up and egg timer for thirty seconds, so she makes sure she has time to thank everyone. I would pay to hug Lisa Kudrow at this moment.

IT IS THE DAY OF THE SHOW, Y’ALL. Mickey is doing Valerie’s hair, while Billy and Jane have a spat about where the HBO cameras can be and where the Entertainment Weekly cameras can be. Jane, perched on the bath tub, is feisty as she stands her ground.

The Entertainment Weekly producer asks Val how long Mickey has been doing her hair, which is 24 years! Mickey says Val is his favorite head he has ever done! The distant second place, in Mickey’s mind, is “big lez” Meredith Baxter. Mickey’s nose begins to bleed. He has been on a new medication that thins his blood, leading to regular nose bleeds. Poor baby. Val tries to get the stain out, as Mickey decides that he can’t go to the Emmys. Val puts him in her limo, and directs the driver to pick him up a sandwich before dropping him off. Val is really worried, and I am, too! Mickey is so sick and Mark is nowhere to be found, which leaves her empty handed as far as a support system goes.

Disaster strikes again when Val sees water seeping from the garage. They open it, revealing a horrifying river of feces coming from a hole in the wall where a pipe has burst. At this exact moment, Brad Goresky jumps out of the car with the dress, slipping and falling into the sea of “fecal matter” that is gushing from her house. Nice.

Val runs next door, to her very confused neighbor’s home. She gives a very long and rambling explanation of how the pipe burst (the crew using sanitary wipes), what she needs (a shower), and why today is important (the freaking Emmys). Her neighbor is like “Ha, bitch, no,” and says that for two years they have been neighbors and this is the first time they have met. He accuses her of racism, but still lets her in so she can wash the poop off of her legs.

Brad and Billy carry her to the limo to protect her beautiful dress. At the Emmys step and repeat, Val works her masterful duck face.

Everyone tells her she is going to win! The energy is so positive, until her nephew appears holding Mark’s ticket. Ouch. She spots her old, reluctant confidant from Room and Bored, Jimmy. He is chatting up Sean Hayes, who will be presenting her category. Jimmy tells Val to hold on to Mark, and to appreciate this one night, but to keep her whole life together. This, with Juna’s warning, is hitting home for Val. She is starting to realize that she has lost sight.

As they look for their seats, a producer for the Emmys kicks the crew out, so Jane films from her phone. Conan O’Brien, the announcer for The Comeback’s version of the Emmys, slinks on stage and spews some half assed jokes. Val gets a text from Mark, saying that Mickey collapsed in his apartment and was taken to Cedars-Sinai hospital. Val has a big decision to make: does she deal with this later and accept the award she knows she will win, or does she get up and go care for her ailing friend. This is the moment, the climax, when Val realizes nothing is more important than Mickey and Mark. She gets up and walks out of the ceremony.

Something happens here that has never happened in the entirety of The Comeback. There are no cameras following Val. It is a shocking image of her through a normal lens, as a woman calling her estranged husband to try to find out whether or not her best friend is alive or dead. Nobody is watching, and she doesn’t care. There are more important things.

She runs out in the rain, calls an Uber (with the help of a few nice Valet guys) and heads to the hospital to find Mickey. In her haste, she puts in the lock code to her iPhone in wrong, and the phone locks, disabling her from using it. Val walks into the hospital looking for Mickey, and finds his doctor.

Tension mounts as the doctor takes a moment to choose her words. You can see Val’s mind racing with possible outcomes, but the doctor tells Val that Mickey is ok! His tumor is shrinking! I am actually sobbing! Val walks into Mickey’s room, which gives him quite the shock and thrill! Mickey tells Val that he is really scared, and it is so unsettling to see them have such an honest and raw interaction all alone, no crew, no Jane. He is going to be OK, though. Mickey is getting better!

Mark enters the room, and looks like he could cry (like I am) when he sees Val, in her fancy dress, sitting next to Mickey. This was her big move, where she proves to him that she sees the error of her ways. In this moment, we know that they will be together and happy. Whew. Am I OK?

They turn the volume up on the hospital television, as Sean Hayes walks up to the podium. He announces all of the nominees, and the Emmy goes to…….

VALERIE CHERISH!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

She won! Valerie Cherish won an Emmy! Best supporting actress in a comedy! Sean Hayes accepts the award for her, and they watch as Paulie G almost jump on stage to accept the award. Nah, bro. Sean’s got this!

Mickey asks Val to get his bag of hair tricks out of the drawer, because Val is looking a mess! All is right in the world!

Mark and Val walk out hand in hand, off into the sunset, intent on crashing an Emmy party or two.

Wow.

Well, that was it. The second season we thought would never come has ended. Valerie got everything she ever wanted, and she almost sacrificed everything for it. She rose above everyone who told her she couldn’t do it. The season was a hilarious, heart-felt, cutting criticism of the entertainment industry. Lisa Kudrow and Michael Patrick King pulled it off perfectly.

Now what? Will we have another season? A spin-off about Jane? HBO, let’s go ahead and make that happen.

I’ll miss you, Val! Until next time!

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