“Lost Girl” recap (5.3): This never happens to me, I swear

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Previously on Lost Girl: Bo left Tartarus. Lauren left a ghost. And Kenzi left all of us. Also someone lit a candle in an elevator. I’m assuming it’s to cover a fart, because otherwise I don’t really understand.

Bo-Bo, the one succubus to rule us all, you know I love you. You know I have deep, everlasting respect and admiration for you and everything you do. But, girl, no one wears platform wedges to paint the house. Yet there our gal is decked out in overalls (points for that) and a tank top (double points for that) and those wedges (negative all the points).

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Bo is doing a little paint-the-house dance with the world’s smallest roller. What is she, painting a dollhouse? Can we do a crossover because I think Eliza Dushku would do well on this show. A shirtless Dyson comes up behind her talking about preferring a bigger one and, wait, sorry, I just had to throw up a little. Don’t get me wrong, I have grown to like wolf. I just like him better when he is wearing a shirt and not talking/sharing/bragging about his penis with Bo.

Bo tells him the size doesn’t matter, which for lesbians is the most true statement ever. She calls hers cute and proceeds with her painting which, at the rate she is going, will need to be finished in a season six. Sniffle, sniffle, sob. Dyson tries to teach her proper technique and then reminds her of their “no strings” policy. But Bo can’t seem to get it up for him. What? No, I wasn’t just cheering at my television.

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Bo makes some excuse about a headache and being thirsty and walks off. So Dyson is left holding his little roller all on his lonesome. Again, not cheering at my television. That would be mean.

At the Dal, it’s karaoke night. Fun! But most of the patrons appear to be Asian. What? Asians aren’t the only people who like karaoke. And not all Asians like karaoke. Some of us are even good drivers. I’m also bad at math and never played the violin, so suck it stereotypes.

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Trick seems less than thrilled about the whole thing. Hey, you’re the one who installed the karaoke machine, buddy. A Fae guy named Musashi, who apparently has a lot of money and likes the company of pretty ladies, leaves the stage. While throwing some of his copious coin around, another man who likes to scowl a lot puts something in his drink.

Then his arm candy start making out. I really don’t know why. Maybe there was a lip gloss shortage and they were sharing. I want to complain about it being gratuitous but, you know. Musashi turns his attention away from the kissy face to ice over his glass and reveal the bad thing in his drink. Guess we’ve found out Plot A for the week.

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