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“The Fall” recap (2.5): What’s in the trunk?

Previously on The Fall: DSI Stella Gibson and her team close in on Paul Spector, but not before crashing through his ceiling—literally. Dr. Tanya Reed Smith is filled with regret for not getting on that lift—probably. Katie is an idiot teenager—definitely. Rose Stagg is still missing—unfortunately and fortunately. (The alternative being that she is no longer missing and dead—obviously.)

Paul Spector is living the ultimate bachelor lifestyle. Walking around his place in his underpants. Playing loud records on the stereo. Destroying proof of his disturbed mental state and killing spree. It’s the ultimate bro living.

The massive hole in his bedroom ceiling and surrounding rubble don’t seem to be bothering Paul at all. Instead he is busying himself with the really important things: burning all incriminating evidence. DSI Stella Gibson and her team continue to monitor his movements from police headquarters. But all they hear is groovy music. So, does this mean the camera in the living room isn’t working anymore?

The team is plotting out an arrest strategy. I had no idea these things were done in such a committee format. Don’t officers usually just pull up on a shirtless man in his front yard and wrestle him to the ground? Possibly I’ve watched too many episodes of Cops.

Stella has a detective in mind to make the arrest, and Eastwood is like, I’m sure you do—in bed. Stella shoots him a look that says save me your bullshit judgment. I think it’s safe to say 90 percent of the looks Stella gives the men on this show say this exact same thing.

ACC Burns is waiting in what appears to be a prison waiting room. Wait, are we going to have a very special crossover episode with Orange Is the New Black? You just know Stella and Alex Vause would hit it off—nudge-nudge, wink-wink. You just know. Instead he is there to visit the pedophile priest he helped put away years earlier.

Burns has come to find out any information the priest may have on Paul, who stayed in his children’s home when he was in foster care. But the priest mostly only has revolting things to say about his God complex, child molestation and what constitutes consent in minors. Also, dude has the head of a Scooby Doo cartoon villain all the way down to his nonexistent chin.

Stella and her team continue to discuss the arrest strategy. With Rose missing for four days now, they weigh the pros and cons of holding off on arrest. She thinks they must, in hopes Paul will lead them to her. Hm, too bad they don’t have like a camera surveillance system that could show them that instead of thinking about Rose, Paul is just thinking about trashing every last shred of evidence. His journal, his laptop. It’s excruciating to watch. Even if they arrest him, how will they convict him? It’s like I’m seeing the twist in the second half of a Law & Order episode unfold before my eyes.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Cliché Katie is busy as well. She is ignoring her BFF Daisy in favor of cutting school. Thankfully, the police are expertly following her and not falling through any ceilings in the process. She is busy making large withdrawals from the bank and placing love locks on bridges. You know, normal teenage girl stuff.

Paul leaves the house as well, in a full run with a backpack on. That’s totally normal, nothing to raise alarm. The surveillance teams go into overdrive with Stella monitoring closely from the office. I actually rather enjoy this highly technical cat-and-mouse. It’s a perspective we don’t often see in our blow-em-up, crash-em-through onscreen cop-chase culture. See, you really don’t need crap exploding for things to be exciting as hell.

Paul runs into the Botanic Gardens and finds his way to the always conveniently unlocked greenhouse. There he changes jackets and deposits his destroyed laptop remnants in an indoor pond. Oh no, he’s getting rid of everything…is absolutely not what I yelled at my TV at this moment. No, I remained calm and enjoyed the fictional programming like a civilized adult.

The team is also still tracking the Benedetto Girl who arrives at Paul’s sleazy hotel. Katie goes up to Paul’s room, but not before attracting the attention of the even more sleazy hotel manager. Once inside, Katie goes to town demolishing all traces of Paul’s crimes. She burns the lock of hair and tries to flush the memory card. Once again, I am not screaming, “Stop Her! Oh my God, stop her!” at my TV. Allegedly.

Stella has had enough and she calls in the uniforms so Paul’s hotel room can be treated like the crime scene it is. The tense heartbeat score starts to race and now it is a genuine race between Katie’s ability to get rid of everything and the officers’ ability to get there and stop her. This show is legit like a monster truck rally. They’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge.

The officers spot the creepy hotel manager just as they get to Paul’s hotel door and he distracts them while they lose precious seconds. Great, as if there weren’t enough reasons to dislike this perv. Cute, more-than-likely lesbian PC Hagstrom is one of the officers and she ends up busting in the door and arrests Katie as she is mangling the memory card.

Wait, what happened to the memory card? Does anyone know? Is it still in her hand? Is it still in the toilet? Where is it? I MUST KNOW.

I actually feel like standing up and clapping now that Katie is arrested. It’s really the best thing that could possibly happen to her. Please let law enforcement save you from yourself, you hideous lovesick teenage cliché.

Now things start to move quickly, more quickly than things have ever moved on this show. With Katie in custody focus shifts back to Paul. Burns hands Stella his juvenile arrest record, which I assume he weaseled out of the pedo-priest. They show Paul had a history dating back to when he was 13 of breaking and entering, keeping stalking journals, stealing undergarments. Basically, his file is like Future Sexual Predator 101.

Poor Stella’s face. The absolute burden of being right.

While Paul has slipped the police at the Botanic Gardens, he did not slip Jimmy Tyler and his thuggy friend. They’re making a delivery and notice Paul walking up the street. He spots them at the same time and makes a run for it. Finally, a little karma.

A chase ensues, then a beating. But not of Paul, instead it’s a beat down of Jimmy because serial killers are surprisingly hard to get the drop on. But Jimmy’s thuggy friend comes in with a gun and now they’ve got him where they want him. So Jimmy asks where his wife is. For once in the entire history of this series we are all Paul when he responds, “What?” Jimmy, dude, priorities. You’ve got the most wanted man in Belfast right in front of you and you’re worried about your domestic situation? Priorities, please.

While this is happening a neighbor has called in the alley beat-down and now cops have been alerted. Cute, actually lesbian PC Dani Ferrington hears the call and connects it to Paul. So I guess it is good she went back into uniform after all. She rushes to the scene. Upon arrival she and her partner are met with a very trigger-happy street thug. Well, what was a very trigger happy street thug. Thank heavens for bullet-proof vests and good aim. After this command performance I hope to see a lot more of Dani.

A shootout occurs and finally we have a right proper American police drama. Kidding. There would still be more shit blowing up and a lot more bad puns. The thug is shot, but Jimmy clocks Dani’s partner, steals his gun and then drives off. Well, at least Paul is still on scene. After the fracas is over, Dani coolly picks back up the phone and says, “Sorry, ma’am, we’ve had a contact.” So formal, you Brits, even in gun battles.

Stella tells her to keep Paul on the scene, no matter what. And, you know, don’t give away that he is about to be arrested as the Belfast Strangler. She packs up her bags and heads out, but not before Burns pokes his head in and asks if he can be helpful for once on this case. Stella eyes him steadily and says, “Yes. As unbelievable as it seems that you could be helpful, you can.”

The forensic teams arrive on the scene, as does Dr. Tanya Reed Smith. Everyone is acting like everything is normal and they aren’t on the brink of apprehending a serial killer. Paul looks around all shifty. I can’t tell if he suspects something or is just as incredulous as the rest of us that this is all happening.

Burns arrives on scene as well. He thanks Paul and signs him out. Yes, that’s right, he lets him go. I know, I was also totally not screaming, “Are you daft! What kind of plan is this?” at my TV. Burns watches him walk off. Dani watches him walk off. No one seems happy about it. But, seriously, what is the plan?

I guess the plan was to make Paul feel like he actually got away with it for 60 seconds. Because as soon as he reaches the end of the alley DS Anderson walks up to him and casually arrests him. Like, that’s the most chill arrest ever.

And that’s that. Show over. They’ve got their man. Time for a final bad pun and for David Caruso to put on his sunglasses, right? Right? I’m sorry. I’ve watched a lot of terrible crime procedurals in my day. My expectations may be a little skewed.

So now the process of seeing what evidence can be salvaged begins. Good Lady Detective and Bad Dude Detective go to arrest Sally Ann on “suspicion of perverting the course of justice,” which sounds really, really dirty. But mostly it’s just about her lying to them about Paul’s whereabouts. Katie has already been arrested and stays true to her teenage petulance by refusing her mother as her adult guardian.

Paul is brought in and his possessions get pored through. It’s undeniably satisfying to watch this man get strip searched. Not in that way, ew. What is wrong with you? Stella looks over his passport, in his real name “Peter Baldwin.” And then they find his cellphone. Could he have been so reckless as to keep his sicko trophy videos on his phone? This is my one glimmer of hope amid all of the submerged and burned evidence of his depravity.

Sally Ann is questioned by the detectives about her lie. Unfortunately, her answers set up Paul’s defense perfectly. Poor, poor patsy. She says Paul admitted to an affair with Katie, and that’s where he has been on the nights he claimed he was working at the suicide hotline. But something tells me Stella isn’t buying this boinking-the-babysitter excuse.

I have to say, the only silver lining to this careful alibi Paul has concocted is that he would still probably have to go to prison for admitting to an affair with an underage girl. But that’s kind of like getting a mafia boss on mail fraud. Effective, but not nearly as satisfying. As Sally Ann remains oblivious, DS Anderson and Paul engage in a testosterone stare down. Whoever looks away from all the stoic maleness first loses, apparently.

Stella is also watching, but gets interrupted by the technician who says she should see the videos found on Paul’s phone. Well, that’s an understatement. It’s Rose, Rose Stagg. Captive Rose Stagg begging to be untied. Captive Rose Stagg begging for water. Captive Rose Stagg begging to see her babies. Captive Rose Stagg begging for her life.

They’ve been edited into a sickening loop of suffering by Paul. Stella watches silently, but her eyes speak volumes. They brim with emotion. You have to think those tears are one part out of compassion for the pain she went through and one part shame for having inadvertently contributed to the pain happening at all.

How Gillian Anderson is able to keep her face so still yet still convey a raging storm of feelings is beyond me.

The videos continue: a defiant Rose, a compliant Rose, a resigned Rose. It’s terrible to watch, it’s hard to watch, it’s impossible to stop watching. And then the camera suddenly flips around and it’s Paul. He asks, “Why the fuck are you watching this? You sick shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Is that an admission or an admonishment? Is he chastising himself or the audience? Both?

Stella steadies herself from the shock of this, wipes away her tears and gets down to the business of convicting this absolute piece of human garbage. She tells Eastwood it’s time for another tactic in the interview room. As much as this show highlights the sexism inherent in law enforcement, and really so much of the workplace, it also revels in showing an unquestionably capable woman telling a bunch of men exactly what to do.

Paul remains silent, stony as Anderson questions him about the videos of Rose on his phone. I’d say he’s even a little smug. Actually, a lot smug. Because instead of answering he puts both legs on the interview table and rocks back in his chair. Is he confident that they won’t be able to prove he’s the killer? Is he pleased he is finally getting the recognition for being the monster he is? Both?

The guard leads him to his cell and turns out the lights. In the observation room, Stella watches as he sleeps. She then gets a phone call with more evidence. DNA from the scissors found with Paul’s fingerprint also contains Joe Brawley’s blood. You can practically see the wheels start spinning in Stella’s mind.

The warden is telling Stella about how much uninterrupted sleep prisoners are entitled to. If she wakes him now his eight hours will restart. But Stella doesn’t give two shits about his circadian rhythms and fetches the jailer.

She then heads into the office to find the Good Lady Detective (a.k.a. DS Gail McNally) asleep on the couch. She wakes her gently, and then gives her a long, careful, purposeful stare. You could fuel a small city with the undeniable sexual energy Gillian has with all of her female co-stars.

She reaches over and unties McNally’s bun, with an almost afterthought, “May I?” You can practically see McNally visualize herself going up that elevator. Hey, Reed Smith’s loss is another lucky woman’s gain. And after casually combing out McNally’s hair with her fingers, she says, “There’s something I’d like you to do.”

Who thinks McNally broke some sort of land-speed record for saying yes?

Alas, it wasn’t a lift ride to paradise that Stella was proposing, but a wake-up call for Paul. She has the detective, who is alarmingly Paul’s type with her hair down, enter his cell and inform him of his new charges. She does all this while wearing a sheer top with the top button unbuttoned and pencil skirt.

After she leaves, Paul gets up and stares into the camera. His eyes glow in the night visions and it’s rather unnerving. Like, even Stella is unnerved. And that woman has nerves of titanium.

His white glowing eyes fade into white flowing headlights coming upon a burned out car in the middle of nowhere. Oh, shit, is this Rose’s car? I start having Seven flashbacks as police slowly open the trunk. What’s in the trunk? What’s in the trunk? WHAT’S IN THE TRUNK?

In the jumble of burnt junk is unmistakably an arm and hand. So, yeah, that’s bad.

Can you believe there’s only one episode left? Bloody hell, how is this thing going to end?

More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com.

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