“Top Chef: Boston” recap (12.8): The Overall Episode

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Previously on Top Chef: Boston, it was Restaurant Wars, bitches. Melissa and Mei worked the line like BAMFs and probably braided each other’s hair afterwards. Keriann was sent packing, thus proving (to me, at least) that brunettes are the best. (full disclosure: I have brown hair.)

photo1YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US

Guys, it’s the week we all (or maybe it’s just me) have been waiting for. We know a few things: Padma will wear overalls. She will run around a Whole Foods (potentially aimlessly) and knock things over. These are known facts, so honestly I’m feeling pretty good about things. Even if nothing else happens in this episode, we’ll have that.

Alas, some other things are going to happen, I guess. The chefs talk amongst themselves about the Restaurant Wars fallout. Doug is feeling great about himself. Katie, meanwhile, has zero remorse about Keriann going home and doesn’t feel responsible at all. She’s kind of a hard motherfucker, huh?

It’s a new day and the chefs are putting the stress of RW behind them for a new challenge. They arrive at the kitchen AND FIND PADMA. IN OVERALLS.

photo2TBH, I don’t give a crap about the guest chef right now.

The guest chef’s name is Jasper (which was also the name of my childhood pet bunny, if you were wondering) and he must be known for seafood, because there is a whole table full of clams. I’m still not over Padma, so bear with me. Oh! It’s a sudden death quickfire, though, so I’m going to pay much better attention starting now, I swear.

The chefs have 30 minutes to make clam chowder. Damn, though, that’s not a lot of time for a chowdah. The winner receives immunity, while the loser has to battle FOR THEIR LIVES. (Dun dun DUNNN!) Mei takes the whole bowl of littleneck clams, because she’s a boss, and Melissa swoops in to just take a few of them. She’s “not going to play nice anymore,” but she’s kind of giggling while she says it and I just want to pinch her cheeks. Mei, however, is unamused by all the clam thievery afoot.

Oh god, it sounds like Adam is making a “Manhattan clam chowder.” Nonononononononono. Listen, I’m from New Jersey, so I’m usually onboard whenever people love to talk about how much better pizza/bagels/etc are from NYCBUT I DRAW THE LINE AT CHOWDER. Gimme that thick, white goodness any day. Er, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean. GDI, it looks like Melissa is making something tomato-y too. Whhyyyyyy?

Katie’s making tea-infused chowder. I have just stopped questioning anything she makes at this point. In other news, I’m sure you’re just shocked to know that Katsuji is putting poblanos in his chowder. I can’t believe it!

The judges taste all the various chowders and the favorites end up being Adam, Gregory, and Melissa. Soooo, apparently I should shut the fuck up about red chowders, huh? But waita little validation! The lone white chowder in the top, Gregory’s, takes the win. Poor Adam was a close second.

photo3::single tear::

Now for the bottoms (teehee): Doug’s chowder was salty, Katsuji’s poblanos were overpowering, Mei’s was under-seasoned, and Katie’s addition of raw sourdough was not good at all. Katie is on the bottom and will have to cook FOR HER LIFE.

TWIST!!! Tom comes into the kitchen with all the previously eliminated chefs. They get to choose amongst themselves who will cook against Katie (but they can’t vote for themselves). If the eliminated chef wins, he or she gets to enter back into the competition.

Most of the chefs vote for George, because he was eliminated after the very first quickfire and people think he deserves the second chance the most. Ugh, all I can remember about him is that he pronounces kalamata annoyingly and that he’s a white guy. Damnit, we were down to a manageable number of 2 white guys.

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