The Gayest Films/TV Episodes You Should Watch This Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving: Ye old holiday of gratitude, where we are treated to a literal cornucopia of endless grocery store gourd displays, cranberry relish, everyone’s Instagram pie photos (seriously, we get it—you’re winning), and guilt trips from your family (or just mine, because I’ve got a Jewish mother). But the most important thing you do on Thanksgiving won’t be basting the turkey (though that’s actually really important), it’ll be about all the things you do while you’re waiting for things to simmer, golden, boil and fizz (the sound of the drink you just popped open.)

Go ahead, pull the lever on that recliner and sit back, your loyal animals will be so thrilled to sit tight with you for a marathon of the gayest movies and TV episodes we could possibly conceive of to queue up on Turkey Day. But remember: A turkey comatose is real, so do yourself a favor and start this marathon in the morning. By nightfall, you’ll be filled to the brim, half-drunk and listening to your Uncle Danny repeat jokes you’ve heard every single year anyway.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

GayGiving1 Why it’s the gayest: It’s a parade. We love ‘em. Thursday morning, at 9 a.m. to noon in all time zones, you can tune in for the annual Thanksgiving parade of all parades—Macy’s 88th, to be precise. As a kid, this was really important to me because, 1. floats, 2. suspended, giant-sized inflatable balloon things, and 3. watching people lip sync songs and wave at the crowd like they’re Princess Diana. You literally can’t go wrong.

Why you should tune in: It’s so hyper-sensationalized that you almost have to buy into it’s charms. What’s even gayer: the executive producer and creative director behind the big event are big ‘ol gays—Amy Kule and Bill Schermerhorn. They were featured in the 2012 OUT100. This year, Amy told Women’s Wear Daily that the parade’s first hour is all about Broadway while showing off her hot-pink coat she’ll be sporting. Case in point, there’s a lot of gayness behind the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, so go ahead and look high in the sky to the giant ass balloons, chances are our girl Kule had the final say in who made the cut.

Roseanne, “Home Is Where the Afghan Is” (Season 9)

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“Here you are sitting there, my right-wing Republican conservative mother is a big ‘ol lesbo!”

Why it’s the gayest: Roseanne is one of the greatest television shows of all time. If Sara Gilbert’s perfect coif of curls and ‘90s grunge doesn’t do it for you, there’s knowing how queer-conscious this series was—in so many ways, it was trailblazing gay characters and dialogue about sexuality and gender way before all the shows we love and worship today came along. In real life, Barr has two queer siblings, so the subject hit home—and this episode took us places.

Why you should tune in: In its final season, the Conners strike rich when Roseanne wins the lotto, and their house looks WEIRD. She’s replaced the couch with some green suede number that has a “slant” to it. Dan is absent for the majority of the final season because Roseanne kicks him out for cheating. Roseanne’s mom Bev comes to her catered holiday dinner—along with basically everyone else, sans Dan. Leon and Scott announce they’re planning to adopt (the audience lightly laughs in the background—because it’s still the ‘90s and two gay men together is apparently a real hoot) to which Bev begins ranting about the problem with gay adoption when she unintentionally blurts out that she’s a lesbian! Sara Gilbert is smirking in the background the entire time and Jackie is having a freak-out. “Have you acted on this? With who? When? How? No, don’t tell me! Pass the yams!” The real kicker: In the final episode of the series, we learn Roseanne just went kookoolabanza during those last few weeks and it was actually Jackie who’s a big ‘ol lesbian. Duh. Now bring back the couch. The whole episode is up at Logo TV.

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